Tomorrow's a Mystery

No more guys. I'm just not going to do it to myself or to little man.

Here's what 2008 gave me:

2 guys that I was very interested in
2 guys that were clearly not interested in me
9 first dates
2 second dates
1 night being stood up
1 man that I shared a very passionate kiss with
Many tears over why I can't establish a decent relationship with a man
1 lost friend
1 new friend
Many shots
A handful of hangovers
1 potty trained toddler

Here's what I know 2009 will bring me:
0 dates
0 passionate kisses
0 times being stood up
1 happy mom
1 happy toddler
Many batteries
Hours of exercising
A possible trip out of state

So bring it on 2009. I'm ready for you.

Amy's Story

This breaks my heart.

NYE

A new years resolution you ask? Not gonna happen. Instead, I'm making a commitment to myself that I have YET to keep. Getting in shape. Yes, I've spoke of this hardship before, but now I have more reason to take myself seriously. I'm going to have to get into a dress in front of a bunch of people I know and don't know...I'm honored, and excited..but as of today, I would totally be the fat girl of the bunch.

This just won't do.

SO...aside from eating pizza THREE TIMES THIS WEEK (for the LOVE OF GOD!), I've started wearing a little green bracelet thing to visually remind me that I'm in it to win it.

My most daunting test is maintaining my "positive" attitude through that "time of the month" and what the hell do ya know..that time of the month hit me today (Thanks mother nature, eff you too!). If I still have a positive attitude at this point in the game, consider this mama good.to.go!

What's this chick doing on new years eve? Nothing.

Maybe my lackadaisical attitude can be attributed to pms, yes...most likely. I just don't feel mentally rested to deal with bar crowds, or presenting myself in a positive light in front of people I barely know. Meh, no harm no foul!!

Bring on the Fillet Mignon and Crab Legs bizzos! If I'm gonna celebrate NYE solo, at least I'll do it in STYLE! :)

Hello.

Wow...The holidays sure did keep my head spinning the past five days! Here's a quick mini recap:

Festivus party = everything I wanted it to be. Family, food, chilling. It was great!

Christmas Eve = not so great..but it was just one night, and what's done is done.

Christmas Day = Busy. a lot of running here and there, and culminating in a late night trip to a casino with my cousins...rounding out with a trip to the bar just down the road from the casino, meeting two hot random guys who were McFeely, but a TON OF FUN.

Friday = day of recovery, followed by brief appearance at a fun annual fiesta party...ending at my mom's house to hang out with my brother and his buddies for the night.

Saturday = drove my brother to the airport, cried at his departure but tried to tell myself that everything was alright. Ate breakfast at Mickey's Diner (DELICIOUS), and spent a sizable gift card at Target. Took an amazing bubble bath.

Sunday = Movie with little man and Grandpa, cheered on the Vikes, napped, and hung out.

See? I've been a busy bee. I hope everyone had a lovely Xmas!! Was Santa nice to you? Many more silly stories to come!!

12

Although I don't really know what the 12 days of xmas stand for, I thought I'd write up a little list of 12....in honor of the 12 things I've learned in the month of December

1. Family is more important to me than I ever thought it would be...SO, tonight is my first annual Family Festivus party...minus the negativity. Lord knows, my family needs more optimism and less negativity

2. Hosting an event is a lot of work! Especially when you are like me, and don't regularly clean.

3. Snow can be awesome. I took little man sledding for the first time, and was reminded of what it felt like to act carefree and enjoy the snow.

4. Snow can suck.at.life. MN (as well as other parts of the country) has received above average snow storms this December. This translates to horrible traffic conditions, and doubling commute times to and from work. (don't be jealous, really)

5. Friends truly are the family you get to choose. I may not be married, heck, I may not even be dating someone...but I honestly have some great friends...both in real life, and those I've met through the blog world. It's pretty sweet, and I'm more thankful that I could ever put into words.

6. Kids can be so simple, it's completely mind blowing. For example, two 12 cent goldfish were THE BEST THING THAT HAS EVER HAPPENED to little man in 2008. I haven't introduced them to the net yet...since the last time I introduced fish, they died the next day...stay tuned for the introduction of David and Goliath (said gowiath...and yes, little man ACTUALLY NAMED THEM...haha)

7. Burning the candle at both ends always ends up burning me. With the holiday hustle and bustle, combined with a heavy workload this past week..I would up with a sight impaired migraine. I only get migraines when my body tells me "SLOW DOWN LADY". This time, I only appeased my body in the smallest way possible...by taking a four hour nap. Did I get a goods night rest last night? Of course not! I had too much to do to get ready for today. Do I have a nap in my future today? Of course I do!

8. Keeping a line drawn between your personal and professional life is important..no matter how cool you think your coworkers are. I recently experienced some drama with a coworker...it snowballed into a pile of nastiness.. Thanks to a Christmas gift, the ugliness was squashed. I learned my lesson, albeit the tough way...co-workers and personal lives do not mix....nor should they mix.

9. As much as I love and yearn for mantention, I don't need it to be happy. I have my health, a job, a warm place to sleep at night, little man and the list could go on. I agree with those out there, who believe a man should add to your life, and not complete it. It's taken me a while to get there...and I'll never forget my journey to get this far...

10. Communication can be extremely powerful. I recently reconnected with an elementary school friend. Well, in elementary school we didn't get along with each other, come to find out our dislike for one another was because of poor communication on both of our parts. I'm so happy that we've become friends, and it makes me wonder

11. As fun as splurging on yourself can be, all of the money in the world cannot buy happiness. I tend to overspend in general. I function with the believe that you can't take money with you when you die, so you might as well spend it while you have it. However, I've come to realize that if you aren't happy with yourself before you buy something nice to share with others...you probably aren't going to be happy with yourself AFTER your big splurge. This is a lesson I'm really going to focus on in 2009.

12. My most favorite quote, and words that everyone should live by: Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift...that is why it is called the present. I heard this saying on a Disney cartoon...no lie. It struck a deep chord with me, and although I've heard variations of this quote, I like this one the best. It is simple advice, and extremely powerful.

Happy Christmahaunikwanzika!

Road Bump.

It never fails that I hit a road bump when I'm in the middle of trying to pull of an xmas miracle (read: getting my house ready for the festivus party). The road bump I've encountered today, you ask?

An effin Migraine. Grr. I'm NOT happy about this.

Today was a great example of how my coworkers are generally an awesome bunch. The second I told them I couldn't see, they had me go into a dark room to try and sleep...so I would regain my sight and be able to drive home to rest some more. I have spent the entire afternoon sleeping...and it was awesome. I hope I have enough strength in to finish my list.

I think I can
I think I can!

Whoa Update.

In an hour and a half I've managed to:

Did one load of dishes (only one more to go...)
Decluttered my kitchen counters
Hand-ground pepper to fill the snowman pepper shaker because I was too cheap to buy ground pepper since I had an entire pepper mill full of it!
Took out the trash
Put my blue ray player in my tv stand...only to find out it didn't quite fit (grr)
Decluttered my end tables
Moved cleaning supplies under the sink

Realistically, I know I can do this. On my agenda for tomorrow:

Laundry and organizing my room, including but not limited to decluttering my desk
Moving my tv and other electronic equipment into my newly clean room
Wrap gifts
Move my shoes to my room, and away from my front door

On my agenda for Tuesday:

Clean the bathroom
Cook
Vacuum
Dust
Have a tall glass of wine

Honestly, I don't mind the work. Most of it is stuff I should be doing anyways...and what a better time to get things done than the holiday season!

Whoa.

First things first...My last post was a bit brash. I have been swamped at work, and dealing with coworkers acting like they're 15 years old. I used to work in an ugly environment, and what I deeply appreciate about my current company/position is I thought they were different...well, it turns out one person is VERY juvenile, and felt the need to spread very nasty rumors about me to other coworkers... so when I was busting my ass at work, I had to deal with a copious amount of frustration towards this ugly behavior. I've dealt with it. It's squashed. My professional life can return to normal (I hope!).

Onto bigger and better things...right?

My family is coming over this Tuesday for my own personal version of a festivus party. I ran to the grocery store tonight, and the menu I've planned only set me back $75. I think I did a pretty darn good job.

I have been swaying back and forth on my menu. Thanks for all of your awesome ideas. For whatever crazy reason, I settled on making a yankee pot roast with carrots, and serving cheesy hash browns. I also picked up some spinach dip and Hawaiian sweet bread, some candies for an awesome new candy dish I had received from a coworker, and I have a few cheeses to cut up and serve with crackers. I'm suppling some diet coke, sprite, Pepsi, milk and eggnog (which will be served with the option to spike it with rum). I also have three bottles of red wine and a bottle of white on hand. That combined with a pot of coffee should be enough to appease the crowd.

I feel like I have a million things to do before the 23rd. I'm very thankful I am done with work at noon that day!! Yes, I'm being a baby...but here's my list (and I'm holding myself to it.

do the dishes
declutter my kitchen
move cleaning supplies under the sink
declutter and clean my bathroom
laundry
put away clothes in room
do three loads and put them away
reorganize my room
declutter my desk
swap where my book shelf and dresser are
move my old living room tv to my room
move my old dvd player and vhs player to my room
vacuum
sweep
dust
throw out new tv box
declutter my living room end tables
figure out a way to move my blue ray player into my tv stand
cut up cheese
wrap gifts for the kids
wrap xmas presents in general (since little man will be home all day on Wednesday, and I won't have time to wrap on Tuesday night because of the party)

Damn, why am I even blogging right now? Oh yeah, it's because I'm the worlds BIGGEST PROCRASTINATOR! At least I have the grocery shopping done. I've also taken a moment to clean out my fridge...but now it's time for me to take out the trash, and start crossing things off of my list. Looks like there's a lot waiting for me in my future!!

Happy Holidays..and if you're bored you're MORE THAN WELCOME to come over and help me cross things off of my list!! :)

Blah.

People really can suck sometimes. Sorry, I'll fill y'all in later, once my head stops doing 360's and I have a spare moment to catch my breath. Thanks for listening!!!

Hugs'n Smootches!!

Pretty Sweet.

So much to share..where do I even start.

This morning traffic was horrific. I thought I was in the clear, when I was swiftly met with break-lights. A twenty minute commute took me 40 minutes.

While I was crawling towards the office, I just so happened to catch more christmas wishes, and the christmas wish song on the radio. It was a severe mascara alert...and I loved every second of it.

I'm a chronic radio station surfer (almost worse than I a tv channel surfer). When I tuned into K102, they kept going on and on about how Jared Allen would be coming into the studio just after 8 to take over their morning show. If you don't know this already, the radio station is a tenant in my office building. I briefly thought to myself, what are the chances that I run into him when I'm walking into work..would I say anything to him? That thought lasted about a minute, then I was onto the next radio station.

When I exited the highway, I realized I was driving behind an F250 with Arizona license plates. No way that's Jared Allen in front of me. I went to turn towards my office, and was stopped at a red light. I looked over to see, yes, indeed, it was Jared Allen...lost. I rolled down my window, he saw me and rolled down his. I politely told him which way he needed to go, and then continued on my way to the office.

He seemed like a really nice guy, and his football voice totally made me laugh. So here I sit, a bit giddy from my brief but really funny brush with a local celebrity.

Yes.

Yes...it's the start of a new work week
Yes...the next week and a half are going to be pretty hectic for most people, with the looming holidays fast approaching
Yes...this makes me happy. Very happy.

Happy Monday!

HeHe HaHa

"What's with today, today?"
"You're a superb manager....superb"
"Shampoo is better! Oh really fool? Really! Stop looking at me swan!"
"I can't hear you, I've been physically abused in the ear"
"You're a hard candy shell"
"Shut up, Richard"
"You had me at hello"
"ET PHONE HOME"
"Ogres are like onions"
"Teenagers...they think they know everything. You give them an inch, they swim all over you"

Some days, I could have an entire conversation solely using movie/television/pop culture quotes. It's quite fun, and extremely entertaining.

What are your favorite silly or serious quotes?

Life is Good.

"None of my past relationships have worked out...but it only takes one to work! The rest is just a combination of practice and learning experiences!"

~K. Dohman

That's honestly how I am trying to live my life. With each day of my single-hood that passes, I start fearing that the light at the end of my single tunnel will fade to black forever...I'd be lying if I said this wasn't true. I am making an honest attempt to focus on the positives in my life, and not worry about my light fading. Life is too short to sit and reel over a future that you can't predict. So this is what I'm going to do:

Focus on now, not tomorrow.
Enjoy my single freedom of being able to do, say, wear, go and spend whatever I want, whenever I want.
Be thankful that I have a job which (not only) entertains me, but provides me with steady bi-weekly income so I can pay my bills, and afford a warm, safe place to sleep at night.

It will happen for me and my little guy (hopefully before the Vikings win a Superbowl). I'll keep my fingers crossed...and when it happens, I'll be sure to let you know.

Common Courtesy?

Question...

When it snows, and one goes outside to snow-blow their sidewalks/driveways...why do they insist on blowing the snow into the street? I mean, really! Is it THAT difficult to turn the crank thingy on your snow-plow to blow the snow back into your own yard...or better yet, into your neighbor's yard?

Grr to you, blowing-your-snow-into-the-street-a-holes.

Awesome.

If you live in Minnesota, and have the chance to go to Myth to see a concert...I highly suggest going.

I saw Gretchen Wilson this past friday at Myth, and was blown away by how close the stage was to the audience. Yes, you had to stand...but it's really no different than standing at a bar all night.

The atmosphere rocked. In a nutshell, I had a blast!

Festivus

Little man is growing up before my eyes, and reminding me what life looks like through the eyes of a child. I am very thankful for this, but also a little sad/concerned.

When I remember winters and holiday's from when I was a child, they were filled with fun family gatherings that included aunts, uncles, cousins...the works, really. We always laughed a lot, ate until we were uncomfortable, and went home with smiles on our faces. I don't feel like I have been able to provide little man with the same kind of comforting traditions..which is what makes me sad/concerned.

My family feels like they have grown apart, and only care about their own schedules. I really do love my family, and I am brainstorming a way to bring them back together for the sake of little man. Seeing as I only have one brother who is overseas 95% of the year, little man misses out on his Uncle T. My mom, dad, and aunts who had (up until this year) been the enforcers of getting the family together have decided it's too much work. I just don't get it. If everyone is on board, HOW is it too much work?

I digress.

I think you'd all be proud of me. I actually approached my mom about my concerns..and for once, I think she actually listened. In my heart, I know she heard the sadness and frustrations in my voice; towards how I feel our family has shifted from a unit, to a bunch of individuals. I guess time will tell if she acts on it, or if she sweeps it under the rug.

SO....instead of sitting at home (alone) and crying over my family sucking at life, I've decided to take measures into my own hands. This year, I'm throwing a Family Festivus party!!

I live in an apartment. It's decent, but not a house. There's not a fenced-in backyard where the kids can go outside to play. There's not a huge kitchen, or a living room AND a family room...there's just a living room (with 2 three-person couches, two rocking chairs, and a two-person love seat), a bathroom, and two bedrooms. I think there will be enough room for seating...I'm only concerned about the kids not having enough space to stretch their legs. If everyone shows up, there will be:
three toddlers
two seven year olds
13 adults
Yup, you read that right...it will be a FULL house.

I still haven't decided on an appropriate menu, but I'm thinking I'll for SURE make this AMAZING a spinach-artichoke heart stuffed croissant (it truly is to die for).

Does anyone have any simple yet impressive suggestions for my menu?

My family has been notorious for boozing it up...while I'll provide wine, I THINK that will be the only alcoholic choice....maybe spiked egg nog too...but I've never experienced that before, so I wouldn't even know where to begin!

I guess I have to go and research Festivus now, cuz dammit, I don't want to get it wrong (and if it's a huge success, maybe it will be a yearly thing!!).

UPDATE:

I just looked up Festivus...and I'm not sure if my gathering will stick to the script...However, it would be a RIOT to tell my family how much they've disappointed me this past year...lol

The Devil went down to Louisiana...

Was I the only person who watched Britney Spears: For the Record?

Didn't think so.

I haven't decided if I was impressed with the content of the "documentary." However, I feel like the film did what it intended: letting the public know that it's tough to be a millionaire, lonely, but for the sake of the music/art worth it.

Ew, I think I just threw up in my mouth a little bit.

I'll be the first to admit: Britney works hard when she wants to. She puts long hours in, yes. Joe the plumber puts in long hours too...as do thousands of other Americans. blah blah blah

Maybe the documentary made me realize Brittney is more like me than I could have imagined....NOT. The girl has millions of dollars that she earned by sacrificing her privacy to become famous. It's ironic that she admits six years into becoming famous she was over it. Sorry girl, you sold your soul to the devil. Maybe it's all about the "art" now...but it's a little too late to have a change of heart.

She'll have to survive in the public eye, she'll have to be guarded on who she lets into her life. Period. The end.

I think her story is the perfect example that money doesn't buy happiness. Would I want to trade bank accounts with her? SURE! But I wouldn't want to do it so I could build a multi-million dollar house in Malibu. I would want to trade bank accounts so I could give more back to society (and not in an "I'm Paris Hilton, and I want to give back, so I'm going to continue to hit up the LA club scene and make horrible reality programs for MTV" kind of way).

What do you think? Would you trade places with Britney? Why, or why not?

Price Check Please!

I'm honestly bored with dating. I want to find a "soul mate" (ugh, that sounds so cheesy!). The dating pool feels like it has dried up for me.

I've tried networking through my friends...it didn't work.

I've tried the online dating thing....met three guys...I'm still single

I'm not a church girl....so it's not gonna happen there.

I'm at a point where I feel like I need to hang up my dating shoes for a while. Honestly, my dating shoes feel like they have failed me, big time.

So I ask you this....where the hell can I buy a new pair of dating shoes since my off brand kicks have OBVIOUSLY failed me? Thanks...

OH! p.s. I'm a girl on a budget. k-thanks!

If you wish upon a star...

It's not every day I am presented with an opportunity to be generous. Don't get me wrong..I'm a people pleaser, but the pocket books have been a bit baron, if ya know what I'm saying.

This holiday season, little man's daycare participated in a shoe box holiday service project. I shrugged it off until the last night, then took little man to the store to pick up goodies to pack in the box. I think my conscious had gotten the best of me, especially after I checked out their website.

Yes, this is cheesy, but since the moment I first laid my eyes on little man, February 19th at 12:50am, I felt a strong urge to try and make a difference in the lives of other kids.

The shoebox thing, albeit very small, was my initial way of giving back. I jammed everything a 2-4year old boy could possibly want/need. Dove soap (because everyone needs to have a dove experience at least ONCE in their life!) a new washcloth, dum dum suckers (a whole bag of them!), an economy sized pack of bubble gum, disney toy cars, crayons, a coloring book, water color paints and play dough. It set me back about 35 dollars...really, pocket change in the grand scheme of things.

Did I mention putting the box together, and trying to explain it to little man felt amazing? No? Well, it did! So much so that I decided to extend my charitable fever to my girlfriends. I hopped online and started shooting emails.

I was surprised when I received an email from a girlfriend of mine, a second grade Teacher at a local school. We ended up speaking on the phone, and she told me about how the kids in her class are amazingly deserving, but come from families who are new to the country and going through some difficult economic times. My mind started churning, and I remembered a local radio station was granting holiday wishes. Unbenounced to her, the second we hung up the telephone I hopped online, and submitted my wish for Teacher*:

My friend Teacher is a kind and compassionate person. She is a second grade teacher at a local Hmong charter school. When asking my girlfriends for charitable ideas, Teacher told me the kids in her class are in dire need of simple things. Most of her second grade class are sent to school without socks, hats, or mittens. Many of the kids cannot complete their homework because their families cannot afford crayons. Teacher has visited their homes, and many of these children don't even have sheets on their bed. Teacher, being the amazing person that she is, took it upon herself to fund a sock drawer for her classroom. When children show up to school without socks, she takes a pair out of her drawer and gives them to the child in need. It is something so simple, yet so completely kind.
This holiday season, I am asking you to help Teacher with her efforts. She can only do so much on a teachers salary, and would rather provide her classroom with basic necessities instead of receiving anything herself. She is so passionate about her classroom, and about children that helping her this holiday season would not only touch her heart, but the hearts of nineteen glowing second graders. Thank you.

To my amazement, I found myself sitting in the sound booth of the radio station, while some interns barged in on Teacher's classroom, with bags of gifts for the kids. They truly went above and beyond, giving each child a sweatshirt, hat, mittens, school supplies and leaving Teacher with a sizable gift card. She was blown away, and the kids were amazed. I am still in shock about everything that went down this morning.

I know money is tight for a lot of people this holiday season, but I can tell you for certain KDWB's Holiday Wish is an amazing cause.

*Although her name was all over the radio this morning, I am keeping her anonymous to respect her privacy.

Crap.

I was in bed early tonight. the clock read 10"10...it was a record for the week! Instead of staying up wasting more of my time with television, at 9:30 I went to my room and read a book. It was lovely. Lights out was 10:10 and I was basically giddy with excitement at the fact that I was snuggled in bed BEFORE 11pm.

"Click, click". It sounded almost like someone was trying to break into my apartment. The next thing I know, I heard a "MOMMY!" from little man. My instincts kicked in. I raced to his room to find him and his sheets covered in vomit.

Crap.

I removed him from the situation, cleaned him up and did what I figured was best...I let him lay in mommy's room. I gave a pillow I referred to as a "magic pillow" and set a bucket next to him, figuring he would sleep the rest of the night. Did I think wrong.


It's 12:16am, and I just finished putting his sheets, AND my sheets into the washing machine. You guessed it, he got sick in my bed...which also caused me to get sick because I just don't handle this stuff very well.

Fortunately for me, I have been able to make arrangements for him. Hopefully I'll be able to survive work tomorrow.

Questions and Life

This morning, I firmly believe pandora's box has been opened. While walking little man into school, I reminded him that he needed to hold mommy's hand while in the street. He graciously listened, but then let out a "Why mom?"

I almost peed my pants.

This was his first "Why" question...and I have a STRONG feeling it's not going to be his last.

I don't think I was much of a "why-child", but I know for certain that my brother was. I'll be the FIRST to tell you, it drove me nuts 22 years ago, and I'm convinced it's going to drive me nuts now!

Wow..saying something was bad "22 years ago" really makes me feel old.

When I was in my pre-teens, I remember hearing (on some television talk show) that statistically, if a woman truly believes she will be married by a specific age, her chances of being married when she was that specific age increases. Maybe this falls into line with self fulfilling prophecy...but I'll be the first to tell you that my prophecy was not self fulfilled.

I had always imagined I would be engaged at 24, and married by 26...with my first baby at 28. As a 13 year old, I had my life planned out perfectly. Little did I know I'd be a single parent of a 1yo at 24, still not engaged at 25...and who the hell knows WHERE I'll be at 26.

Although my life hasn't turned out the way I originally planned, I'm quite alright with that. I am a firm believer that good things come to those willing to wait... I've put in my time, and continue to pay my dues. I'm happy, and I think that's all that matters!

Astute Observation

I just looked at my blog, and I had a Brittney Spears post, followed up by a Justin Timberlake post.

I'm cool.

Notes from the Heart

Dear Justin,

You've definitely proved to me why you are the hottest, funniest most amazing man.

Love you long time,
Miz

Confession.

To Whom It May Concern,

I have a confession to make. It's quite embarrassing, really.

My new favorite perfume is Fantasy, by Brittney Spears.

Please don't lose respect for me. I know it's a shameful thing to publicly admit.

Yours Truly,
Miz

Consumed.

Sugar, weight, calories, fat, dating and exercise. That's all my brain has been consumed with this week. Why, you ask? Because I really really really want to slim down. For myself, for my social dating life, and also, because I am sick of being the fat girl.

Now...those of you who know me IRL may argue with me that I'm not "fat" and to this, I say "Well, I'm not skinny!" I could be categorized as healthy, curvy, busty, thick...thin and in-shape does not fit into that mix, and I want it to!!

I've signed up for an online calorie counter, and am participating in a weekly training session that also gives me support through homework and email contact in between workouts. So far, I'm slightly down in weight. Hopefully I can keep it up. I firmly believe that once I REALLY start going, there will be no stopping me!! :)

I also purchased a scale as a gentle reminder to mind what I am putting into my body. This is the first time in my entire life that I've had a scale at home. I hope it helps me unlock the magical key to weight loss success!

Wish me luck!!! (Lord only knows, this girl is GONNA NEED IT!!)

I'm Glad...

I love music, but I have only been to a handful of concerts. Most of the shows have been during music festivals such as X-Fest or WEFest. In fact, the only shows I have been to that WEREN'T a part of a music festival were two NSYNC shows (no, you didn't read that wrong...).
That being said, I purchased a ticket to the upcoming Gretchen Wilson show at the Myth...and I'm REALLY excited!
I've heard rumors that she's not the most personable to her fans...but there IS such a thing as separating work with personal life (something that Brittney FAILED AT MISERABLY). Gretchen has my complete and total respect. One of my favorite songs to jam to (lately) is California Girls:

I ain’t never had a problem with California
There’s a lot of good women from Sacramento to Carona
But them Hollywood types after a while wear on ya
Struttin around in their size zeros
Skinny little girls no meat on their bones
Never even heard of George Jones

Ain’t you glad we ain’t all California girls
Ain’t you glad there’s still a few of us left
That knows how to rock your world
Ain’t afraid to eat fried chicken and dirty dance to Merle
Ain’t you glad we ain’t all California girls

There ain’t nothing wrong with plastic surgery
Well Dolly Parton never looked so good to me
Everybody ought to be exactly who they want to be
But that Paris Hilton gets under my skin
With her big fake smile and her painted on tan
She’d never have a chance at a real man

(Chorus: x2)

Now...I understand that there's some grammar issues here, but the message is pretty good, and exactly how I feel right now :)

I may not be thin, but I'm damn proud of who I am...and I think that matters the most in life! (stepping off of my soapbox now...)

Do You Hear Me?

I love my son, but I loathe toddlers! Let me explain.

Toddlers just.don't.listen. And what's even more nerve wracking about this, is they hear what you're saying, AND understand you..but they don't care. And they're so darn cute that your frustration levels never push you into a rage, because they look at you with their big eyes and their munchkin giggle. It's almost enough to drive a grown adult insane. Really.

Lately, when I make requests of little man, like "Come on, let's get your jambo's on" I am countered with him IGNORING ME. It's only when I tell him I'll pick him up, or not let him put his jambos on that he perks up and acknowledges my existence.

When I call him on his ignorant defiance, he immediately counters with "I listen mama...I LISTEN!" and proceeds to pout and produce an amazing look on his face that never fails to make me feel guilty. Sometimes, I think he's in cohorts with the devil himself....Only because he's so darn manipulative, and he's ONLY 2 and a HALF!!!

I am Bridget Jones

I feel duped. Why is it so easy for people to find their match, yet so difficult for me to find mine? When I get a glimpse of hope that something is going to work out, I have a door slammed in my face, or a message left that completely cuts things off.

98% of the people in my life are in happy relationships. My circle of friends is rather limited, so I've had to explore more vulnerable options like online dating. For those of you who have never tried this...it's not as easy as one might think.

It's very difficult to open your life up to a complete stranger, and it's even more tough to swallow when that complete stranger decides you aren't worth the time...especially after you (me) go through a lot of trouble to have little man accounted for when we've hung out. I digress.

I'm not saying men have been horrible to me, it's the exact opposite. What I am saying is I am finding it so exhausting to try and weed through guys to find one that will be compassionate and embracing of me, myself and I. It feels like the more I try and open myself up, the more I feel let down when things don't work out.

It's not fun.

It hurts.

If I didn't have little man in my life, I would say I am exactly like Bridget Jones, the tragic spinster version.

I wish I knew what I could do to change this...but for now, I feel my only choice is to cut myself off from dating, and just focus on me and my +1...

Hugs are definitely in high demand right now.

Of Course This Would Happen

Did I ever mention how much I HATE flying? Well, I do. In fact, last night as I was supposed to be getting ready for a business trip I was taking (today) I had about a half dozen mini melt downs. Maybe I've always been this crazy about flying, but there's definitely some added anxiety involved when you're a single parent.

All of these horrible scary thoughts kept creeping into my head. I can't even bring myself to type them out.

Rewind to this morning.

I was up at 4:45am to be out of my house by 5. My plane was scheduled to leave at 7:05. I was on-time. The plane was on-time. Life was good.

I boarded the plane, and found out I didn't have anybody sitting next to me (SCORE! I got BOTH of the arm rests...BOO YAH!). We took off, and my gut wasn't feeling right (my gut RARELY lies to me).

And then, it happened.

A half hour into my one-hour flight, the captain came over the loud speaker

"Attention passengers, our air craft is experiencing maintenance issues. The Indianapolis airport does not have the parts, so we will be returning to the Minneapolis Airport. Our scheduled arrival time is 20 minutes."

What.The.Fuck.

Now, if you know me in real life, you know I'm not a super religious person...I immediately started praying.

Obviously, we touched down safely. We were transferred to another air craft, and I arrived at my destination a good two hours behind schedule.

I'm safe. I'm on land. I'm damn happy to be going to bed in about two minutes. The end!

Blogiversary

Happy Blogiversary to ME! Although I've been absent the past week...I really LOVE posting my thoughts for the world to read*.

Here are 12 Blogging Things I've Learned in the Past Twelve Months:

12) I'm a lot more narcissistic than I originally thought I was.
11) Writing thoughts about life does help ease my stress levels, even if only for a minute
10) There are some darn funny peeps out in the blogging world
9) 12 months ago, I would've shuddered at the fact that I would be known as a blogger....
8) Today, I am damn proud of the fact that I am a blogger
7) Writing can be extremely powerful
6) Proofreading really IS important.
5) Some things are better addressed in person than via a blog
4) Some things are better to be addressed via a blog than in person
3) Swearing and making references to Sailor Language has added about a dozen hits to my blog
2) I'm amazed at how connected I feel with people in the blogging world I've never met in real life (IRL)
1) I am absolutely thankful for each and every comment left on my blog. Maybe it has something to do with my Narcissism.

So a big THANK YOU goes out to the five of you who take the time out of your lives to read my thoughts every now and again. I truly appreciate it :)



*By "world," I really mean five people.

HOLA!

SORRY SORRY SORRY! I know I've been on a small blogging hiatus, but for now, I'm back (sort of...) You see, I've had a ton of things going on lately...blah blah blah, I won't bore you with the details!

Do you remember this? Well...I FINALLY uploaded some pictures last night, and just HAVE to share these gems with you. The following are a couple of pics taken while I was sitting on said tree...and the last one is the shot of my uncle attempting to find a neighbor to help us. I'm SO thankful I can look back on this day and laugh!!!







Happy Voting Day All!! I hope you Ba-Rock out with your COCK VOTE out! :) (I'm not revealing WHO I voted for, but you'd be a fool to resist a pun like that!!)

ALERT!

This just in. The light-up pumpkin I bought as my one and only Halloween decoration has a Snaggle Tooth. Pictures soon to follow...

The Broken Record

I want to rewind to a time when I was taking a D.A.R.E class. What's the phrase they use again, oh yeah! "Just Say No To Drugs or Alcohol." Do you remember how they taught you to be a broken record? Repeating yourself over and over and over again....They "said" when the bad people with beer asked if you wanted one (ha, what a joke, right?) they would get annoyed if you kept repeating yourself by saying "no, I'm not interested" over and over again, and leave you alone to live your life in harmony sans drugs or alcohol.

What D.A.R.E failed to mention is they ripped off the "broken record" technique.

Who did they rip it off from, you ask? I'll tell you who they ripped it off from.

Toddlers.

I swear, little man has MASTERED this technique. "I want more, mommy. I want more, mommy. I want more, mommy. I want more, mommy. I want more, mommy." SER-I-OUS-LY! Yes, it's cute that he's actually talking...but COME.ON! Hanging out with a toddler for an evening is proof that the broken record works...but it's also proof that a broken record drives you to drink.

Maybe D.A.R.E. should've thought this technique through before using it as their master plan to keep kids away from drugs and alcohol.

I'm Too Excited To Sleep

I'm happy to report that for the first time in over three years I am actually REALLY EXCITED about Halloween! I've ALMOST completed my costume..I'll be sure to post pics at a later date and time. I have little man to thank for inspiring me this year. At the risk of giving away what I'm going to dress up as, the phrase "Mommy HAS to be a WITCH" repeated over and over and over again sparked my creative juices.

And as a bonus...
Grandma willingly agreed to letting little man spend the night! This means mama gets to go out (ooooh, aaahhhhh).

I have a fantastic feeling this halloween is going to be spooktacular!

Franks and Beans

I had a craving for Indian food yesterday. This always happens to me. About once every three months I am overwhelmed with the strongest urge to gorge my face in Indian cuisine. I succumbed to this urge, and found myself sitting at the local lunch buffet. I ventured up, and was pleased to see a new selection of food items.

I wish I could tell you what the food selections were, but I'm not an expert on this kind of thing. All I know is there was something green, something red, rice, naan (indian flat bread), and this amazing smoked bbq chicken. I piled the colored delicacies on top of my rice, took a piece of chicken and a few pieces of nan, then headed back to my solo table.

The red stuff was SOOOO SPICY, I couldn't handle it. I fought my feelings of food-waste guilt, and shoved the small pile to the side of my plate. Onto the green stuff. It was fine, nothing to write home about and was satisfying the craving that had overcome me. However, in the middle of eating I was suddenly extremely grossed out because I had NO IDEA what I was eating. It was really a horrible feeling. All of the sudden, BOOM, I was simultaneously full and grossed out.

My meal was done, and I left there thinking "Until we meet again in three months Indian buffet...until we meet again..."

Have you seen my Baseball?

I love baseball. Really. I do. Tonight, I tuned into game seven of the series between Tampa and Boston...just as the top of the ninth was starting. No outs, Tampa (the home team) was up 3-1. They needed three outs to become the true Cinderella story of the MLB. Did I mention that two formidable twins players were traded to Tampa to start out the season this year? I'm happy for the Rays. They whole completely deserve to be in the big show. They haven't been an extremely popular team in Tampa...I have a great feeling their ballpark will play host to a few less empty seats next year.

Even though the World Series doesn't include the Twins this year, it's still amazing to see the joy in the faces of all those guys. Yes, that's a tid-bit cheesy and sentimental, but really, in baseball, not a heck of a lot beats making it to the World Series.

GO RAYS!

Q & A

Just curious...

What constitutes a cool girl?

Dirty.

When reading a guest post today, it was brought to my attention that I should try and write something manly. I consider myself to be a fine mix of girly and a guys girl...oh, where to start.

I love to get dirty (as in actual dirt people...get your heads outta the clouds!). At softball, I prove this weekly during my post game "running of the bases" proceeded by "sliding" into home. It's a good time!

I can watch football with the best of 'em.

I almost always laugh at dirty jokes (not actual dirt people...come on, stay with me!)

When I'm really tired, I talk like a sailor. Really, it's quite amusing.

Beer is delicious. Nuff said.

Hmmm...what else am I missing? What else is construed as "man-talk"?

Zzz's

Sleep. It's definitely something I've taken for granted the past year since little man has been sleeping through the night. This week, to nobody's fault but my own, I've gone to bed past midnight two nights in a row. I think I'm losing my mind to the Overtired Monster!

You see, sleep and I have had a pretty solid relationship. We respect eachother. I respect it by normally going to bed at a decent time, and it respects me by recharging my battery for the next day. However, this week has been "challenging."

Tuesday, I spent my night frantically cleaning because Someone was coming over on Wednesday. Once I had my apartment under control, the clock had struck midnight. Last night, I had Someone over. To be quite frank, the time flew by and before we both knew it the clock had struck midnight.

Going on five hours of sleep never felt this exhausting! Maybe I'm just getting old.

The crazy thing is I can stay up late on the weekends...but I also don't have to focus for eight hours straight the next day.

Did I mention I talk aimlessly when I'm overtired? Fortunately Unfortunately, when I'm this tired, my language entails massive amounts of sailor vocab (which goes over really well with the VP's in the office).

Lovely.

It's official. Fall is here and is going to leave just as quick as it came. The colors in MN have peaked 100%. It's only a matter of minutes before all of the leaves are blown to the ground, covered in frost, then disappear under snow. That's right, I said the "s" word!

The vibrant colors of this time of year amaze me. The flaming oranges, reds and yellows are just about everywhere you turn. I think it's mother natures way of giving us color overload to prepare us for winter, (which is riddled with white, brown, and a yellow you avoid instead of gaze at...).

Once Halloween is over, the holidays are literally around the corner. One thing I am thankful for is having a white Christmas every year. There's something magical about the snow covered decorations that glow in the night. It makes me smile just thinking about it.

However, once Christmas is over...I'm ready for it to be warm out again. That's the only bummer of living in MN: Cold weather that stays about three months too long.

Storage Room B

I've got a case of the Mundanes (obviously, pun intended). (if you were born before 1985, you should know where my references are from...if you were born AFTER 1985, then too bad for you! haha)

Today, I was speaking with a couple of coworkers, and the topic of being single without kids vs having kids came up in conversation. One coworker stated that it's frustrating for her to hang out with Moms because all they do is talk about their children. Is this the whole-hearted truth? I don't think so. At least not for this mama.

I took the time to reflect upon myself and how I interact with my friends. I share stories with them about the abuses I suffer at the hands of little man. I share moments I feel they might find comical. Maybe I'm a mom in denial. I refuse to believe I'm one of "those moms." The kind where it's little man this, and little man that. I also make an effort to ask about how their life is going, discuss current events including politics and sports as well as listen if they have things going on they need to vent about.

When I write, I definitely include little man stories, and frustrations...but my blog is personal, and I feel it's an outlet for me when I don't feel like burdening the people I know IRL. Meh.

I think I need to find my swingline, and move to a beach. Today, it feels like that's the only thing that will cure my case of the Mundanes. Have you seen my stapler?

An Answer.

Oh.My.God. If I hear the Roseanne radio commercial where she talks about her vegas show, and you can tell she's reading a script, and the local dj's ALSO record scripted questions. SERIOUSLY! I might be forced to rip my ears off...and that wouldn't be a lot of fun for me.

ANYWAYS....

Onto answering Mandy's question:

If you had a chance to move anywhere in the world, where would it be and why?

I can feel my mind wandering to far off places right now. If you asked me this question pre-little man, I would answer without hesitation: New York City. However...it's not the best place to be single raising a toddler....SOOOO....hmmm, I'm a bit stumped. I am going to do myself a favor and rephrase the question so I can answer it :) If money were not an obstacle, I would move to a US coast, so I would have easy access to the ocean, as well as an international airport to travel back to MN in the spring and fall to enjoy the weather and see my parents and extended family.
I still have a lot of traveling ahead of me, so an living close to an international airport would be important and until I experience other parts of the world. I don't feel I'm educated enough (geographically speaking) to fairly weigh my options of moving to a different country. Do I want to visit Europe, South Africa, South America, Australia and New Zealand? OF COURSE! But until I experience their culture firsthand, I can't pinpoint where my dream home or area of the world would be.

Wow...what a lot of unnecessary rambling! I hope I answered your question!!

Pumpkin Pancakes

Since I had two requests for the recipe I used for pumpkin pancakes, I will concede and share my secrets (consider yourself lucky!)

...They're pretty darn delicious:

I use Aunt Jemima pancake mix to start..but any dry mix will do.

*Measure out the dry mix as directed

*Add equal parts cinnamon, ginger and nutmeg (I use a teaspoon of all three..they're the classic "Pumpkin Pie Spices")

*Add 2-3 Tablespoons of brown sugar

*Add eggs, milk and oil as directed on box and mix

*Mix in 1/3 cup canned pumpkin

Viola! Make pancakes as normal, and enjoy with butter and syrup :-)

They're slightly more temperamental when you flip them...but they turn out delicious, and are a definite favorite of my 2.5 year old. They smell amazing, and you can even elaborate for the adults by adding chopped walnuts or pecans to the batter.

They brown the best on a non-stick pan without grease/butter/non-stick spray.

Using the box mix is slightly cheating, but they turn out fantastic! I took the remaining canned pumpkin and divided it equally into ziplock bags and froze it for the next batch of pancakes. It can be thawed out in the microwave :-)

It's a pretty easy recipe. If you try it, let me know what you think!

Enjoy!

I'm Martha Effin Stewart B*!@#es

That's right, I said it. I really haven't been able to pinpoint what motivated me to:
~Organize a Saturday Morning football game
~Wake up on said Saturday morning and make a delicious breakfast of pumpkin pancakes and bacon
~Make Snickerdoodles on the same said Saturday morning
~Brew a huge pot of coffee to bring with to the football game along with the cookies.

Really, I'm going to brag about this....because I am that cool.

The turnout was fairly decent. We had a total of six to start, and a seventh joined a mid game. It was fun to act like a kid again.

We must have looked like a group of cool kids because our stellar skills caught the eye of a local 10 year old who just HAD to play with us. We willingly invited him to play. He was nice at first, but then got super cocky proclaiming "I'm going to out run all of these guys." Did I mention I don't like kids?

Really...other peoples kids tend to drive me bonkers.* I love little man, and for the life of me, if he ever turns into one of "those kids" I'll lock him in his room until he acts like a civilized human. Not really...but I'll be damned if he turns out to be a brat, you can count on that!

*Not your kid though...your kid is great! :)

Spiders, Monkeys and Witches

The spider saga continues. I am literally killing a spider a day. Not a little guy either...a dime sized nasty spider. Gross. Any suggestions? I am a second away from buying "hedgeballs" at the grocery store..but with my luck, little man would try eating them like an apple and get sick.

Little man is continuing to crack me up. He's telling EVERYONE that he's going to be a monkey. Did I mention he's also telling everyone that "Mama needs to be a witch."? I haven't quite figured out if he's trying to tell me something....hmmm.

I'm struggling to think of a story from the past that is equally funny as it is entertaining...but I got nothin. Don't you worry your reading heart...I'm sure something will pop into my head before the day is up :)

HAPPY FRIDAY!

HaHa is Me..

I make myself laugh.

Rainbows and Butterflies.

Black Coffee...I just don't get it. How can a person drink something hot that leaves your mouth with an extremely bitter, unpleasant aftertaste? To me, drinking coffee straight black is like waking up, going down on a guy, and swallowing EVERY MORNING...It just doesn't make sense (that is, unless money is involved, or, they happen to tuck their shirts into their underware...I digress)!!

How do people resist adding sugar and cream/milk? It turns a hot, bitter drink into a smooth, deliciously nutty beverage. The cream and the milk enhance the coffee flavor, so instead of destroying your taste buds, they are treated to hot ice cream. It's genius!

I know people say they were conditioned to drinking straight coffee, just like they were conditioned to drink nasty keg beer in college. Once you grow up, you realize that there is more to beer than nasty bush light...so why don't people realize there's more to coffee like that with sugar and cream/milk? Let me repeat myself: I just.don't.get.it.

I'm now convinced whoever can stomach drinking straight coffee and swallowing in the morning, and also enjoys Bush Light keg beer is a terrorist. Watch out, Georgie Bush Jr. is gonna get ya!

I wonder how John McCain and Barack Obama take their coffee? Now THAT'S a good question!

Fall

For all of you google feed readers out there...I just deleted a post I had written yesterday (and was published about 28 minutes ago). For inquiring minds, I had written it about a dramatic petty silly situation at work that had my undies in a bunch.
As I suspected, after a great night of sleep, my undies became unbunched, and I just didn't feel right about airing work drama via the internet. Sorry! :)

A Couple Things...

I am NOT a fan of waking up when it's dark outside. I mean, really! Mama always said, "Stay in bed 'till the sun is up and shining"...why can't that apply to the working world too??

The weather in MN cracked yesterday, and was BE-A-U-TIFUL! I took the liberty of going on a short 1/2 mile walk with little man. We walked over to visit with a friend, and on the way to and from my little stinker was talking my ear off. I need to force myself to have more moments like this with him. It sure beats sitting inside watching tv!

blurbalicious

I never dry my shirts or pants in a dryer; I hang my shirts to dry in my closet, and drape my pants over the back of my kitchen chairs

I am extremely tough on myself

I think my passion for life is misleading and often times intimidating

Laundry depresses me

...So does dating

Sometimes, I take an opposing side just for the sake of a great discussion

I see the good in people, and am mostly in denial about the negative aspects of people

Little man amazes me more and more each day

Often times, I wonder if broken relationships from the past will ever be mended

I am obsessively narcissistic about my blog. Some days I really want to be funny, others I strictly want to vent...but everyday I constantly check my site stats (kind of sick, eh?)

I have a really thick Minnesotan accent

I wish I had a circle of single parent friends...or even just parent friends that I could relate to and turn to for support

I hate money

I love school/learning

I admire people who can run a mile without stopping

I wonder if I'll ever be invited to play a role in someones wedding

I am almost convinced that I'm addicted to sugar

Tonight is the first time in as long as I can remember that I washed some clothes, and actually put them away in the same night


Those are a few blurbs about me...stealing borrowing inspiration from Cheryl, are there any questions you feel like asking me? Anything, really...Remember, you'll never know unless you ask :) (well, that's not totally true, but work with me people!)

Almond Joys Have Nuts.

Sometimes I feel like a nut. Today is one of those days. I wonder where that phrase came from...Who REALLY knows how nuts feel anyways? Do peanuts and pine nuts have different personalities? Is one nuttier than the other?

I personally love cashews...but let's be real people...Cashews aren't nuts. They're legumes (I think...which might classify them as WHAT exactly? Your guess is as good as mine).

It takes one to know one...so does that mean it takes a peanut to know a peanut? If so, I am not a peanut.

All of this talking about nuts leads me to a funny quote:
"Peanuts?"
"No Thanks...I got some myself. They're a little bit salty but I....consider them a carry-on."

Craziness

When I was expecting, I remember the first times I felt little man kick. It is an amazing feeling that is near impossible to describe. On that note, I've been having phantom baby kicking feelings. Weird huh? Especially since I haven't "gotten lucky" in close to a year.

No matter how hard I try, I always spell "weird" wrong. Whenever I hit spell check, it's usually the ONLY word highlighted. I think the word literally taunts me. Stupid word.

On another note....I've got a case of the Monday's...and it just so happens to be Monday. Go figure.

Look! A Bandwagon...Count me IN

I am not one to keep my mouth shut when frustration overcomes me. This is one of those moments. I am not attacking ANYONE, so I hope you don't become offended with what I am about to say, or how I have phrased myself. I know I've gotten into trouble with a few people in the past based on what I've posted on here, but I do not believe in censoring myself...so please, I ask you, if you have any issues, feel FREE to discuss them with me...Thanks.

Call me a girl who jumps on the bandwagon..but I cannot resist commenting about the Palin issue that seems to have so many of my friends heated up.
I am a bit unsettled by their willingness to outright say "Palin is an idiot." I am equally unsettled because almost all of the comments about Palins' lack of intelligence seem outright cruel.

Do I have respect for how she is portraying women? Of course not.
What I do have respect for is the ingenious angle the McCain Palin ticket is taking. They are obviously targeting the population of America who is less educated, and is yearning for a person who seems to be normal in office. A person who has no problem using the same slang terms they use in everyday life. A person who reaches out to them with English they understand. You may not agree with the McCain campaign, but I think they're winning more votes than you can imagine through portraying Palin in this light.

Do I personally agree with winking at the camera, giving shout outs in the middle of a VP debate, or using slang's like "you betcha" "doggone-it" and "Joe Sixpack"? HELLZ NO. But again, their campaign has focused her angle on reaching out to the less educated American looking for "a normal person" to be in the White House. Their tactics cannot be phrased in a simpler mannor.

I firmly believe all of the people I know are educated enough to be able to take a breath, and step outside of their liberal or conservative ways. I believe we all need to slow down for a moment, step outside of our comfort zone, and put ourselves in the shoes of each of the candidates for president. Not one of them should be labeled an idiot. All of them are standing where they are for a reason. They are all extremely intelligent, and are also more capable of doing a good job than we are letting ourselves believe.

I will cast my vote when the time comes, however I still haven't been able to reach a decision about who it will be for. I have a lot of researching, reading and listening to do. I hope you do the same.

Anyone care to help me off of this extremely high soap box?

Treat Time

"BOO! I SCARED YOU! I THINK YOU POOPED YOUR PANTS! GO SPARTANS!"

Honestly, that is probably one of the best SNL lines I've ever had the privilege of hearing first hand. It is a classic skit that I tend to revert to when I'm feeling extra random.

Some of my other favorites include:

TACO! BURRITO! WHAT'S THAT COMIN' OUTTA YO SPEEDO? YOU GOT TROUBLE...YEAH, BUBBLE TROUBLE!

WHO'S THAT SPARTAN PEEING IN YOUR POOL? IT'S ME! IT'S ME! UH HUH! UH HUH! UH HUH UH HUH UH HUH! SWIM LAPS!

U-G-L-Y! YOU AIN'T GOT NO ALLABY! YOU UGLY! YEAH...YOU UGLY! M-A-M-A THAT IS HOW YOU GOT THAT WAY YO MAMA! YO MAMA!

Hey Susie! Like my hair? Yeah? It's sun-in! SUN-IN! GO SPARTANS!

In a time where conversations are becoming more heated by the moment due to heavy political and religious topics....remember the Spartans. They always make me smile..and doggone-it, they'll probably make you smile too dontcha know. ;)

GO SPARTANS!

Quack Attack

Lately, it feels like all of the people I know are trying to get their ducks in a row. I am trying to do the same, but I feel like my ducks are of a different breed. Theirs consist of organizing finances to return to grad school, planning a wedding, doing remodeling projects around their homes, etc. Mine consist of paying off large amounts of debt, struggling with a decision about returning to school to achieve my first degree, reorganizing my finances so I can afford either of the previous (plus afford to pay rent, my electric bill, and buy groceries), deciding if buying a house is truly plausible for me, settling on a school district for little man to call home, all the while keeping my home life stable and happy.

I really don't know how I'm going to get these duckies to line up. Thinking about it makes my head begin to throb. I try to live my life taking "Baby Steps" (ha, no pun intended), but I feel so overwhelmed with my exotic and burdening ducks, I can't figure out which baby step to take first.

Blah Blah Blah...I'm a whiny baby. I wish I could find a duck wrangler who would willingly help me either a)win the lottery, or b)line my ducks up whilst creating the lease amount of grey hairs on my head as possible.

Ode to the Durse

You're big.
You can carry my load.
Every time I need to find something, you seem like a black hole.
You've made me feel secure outside of my comfort zone.
Most importantly, you've been there for me, through make-up blunders and dirty diapers.

As a 23 year old single mother, I had to come up with a creative resolution to carrying both a diaper bag AND a purse.

I've always had a love hate relationships with purses (doesn't that seem as if it should be purseai? Ya know, like syllabus::syllabai, HA! AS IF). I was rarely able to fit my necessities in the cute purses, but couldn't bring myself to buy a "bag."

I was stuck in the middle, and not liking it.

Then, little man came along and I'd be damned if I didn't leave the house stocked with baby supplies that could last me a week if need be. Enter, my Durse.

It wasn't sold in the baby section of target, but I refuse to call it a bag because I'm stubborn like that. It was fashionable and practical for me and my baby. If you are a new parent, don't waste your money on a diaper bag, just go straight for the durse. If you're a sexually active person, invest in a durse instead of another cute impractical purse...trust me, it'll be worth it later ;)

Call me crazy. Call me inventive. Just don't call me a bag lady.

Picture This.

I have been a photo-taker for as long as I can remember. More specifically, since I graduated from high school. I never picked up a nature knack in the photos I've taken...my photography centers around drinking and parties. Ninety nine percent of the photos are in albums, and the rest that are stored in a plastic drawer are HORRIBLE.

The other night, while brainstorming ways to rid my life of clutter, these pictures got me thinking. When is it alright to dispose of old pictures (if ever)? They aren't pictures I would be excited to show little man (or ANYONE), nor are they pictures I've looked at in YEARS.

Like I said, I have a small amount of these pictures in photo books, but most of them are still in the original paper folder from the Target Photo department. Little man has discovered the photo books, and really enjoys flipping through the pages. I'm not super enthusiastic about this, but the books he's pulled so far are a family trip when I was 10 (filled with crappy pictures taken by a wanna-be 10 year old "photographer"). The other are pictures of a family trip to Mexico (but still contain a few drinking shots since the family trip was when I was 19).

I'm all torn up about what to do. Any advice would be helpful!!!

Sad Day.

The Twins lost tonight. I'm going to sleep a bit bummed. Goodnight.

Public Spider Announcement (PSA)

Five spiders in two days....seriously.

I've lived in my apartment for two and a half years. In that time, I've been riddled with pests galore, and to add to the mix this week, I seem to be finding a spider lurking around every corner. Is this a sign I should move? The issues wouldn't be so difficult to deal with if I had someone to share my frustrations with. Particularly this week.

I feel as if the spiders have decided to target me. What did I ever do to them? It doesn't help that I don't like spiders at ALL. My only sidekick stands at just over two feet tall...and, lets be real, he is much more of a wuss than I am. He cowers every time a fly is in his vicinity.

It would be one thing if these spiders contributed around my place. If they dusted here, or put the dishes away there...but they don't. They just sit in the corner where the ceiling meets the wall and stare at me. Their beady eyes tell me "I'm going to bite you when you're sleeping, and then I'm going to crawl into your mouth." Can you understand why this hasn't been a lot of fun? How would you feel if you were taunted by creatures the size of dime?

So, my message to spiders is simple. Stay out of my place, and you won't be introduced to my lethal paper towel while listening to me screech in disgust, only to end in a swift run to my trash. Thanks.

Crap.

Sometimes, I feel like I suck at life. As a side note, I'm really trying to keep my glass half full right now.

Let it be known that I made an assumption that a guy I've gone on 2.5 dates with knew I was a mom. For some reason tonight, my gut told me to check my dating profile tonight...and there it was: No mention of me being a mom.

Seeing as I checked this profile at, oh, 11:30pm....I was left with no choice but to send him an email clarifying things. Was this the right move? Good LORD, I hope so! I was too much of a chicken-shizzle to call him...plus, it was almost midnight for crying in the beer! Who is still AWAKE at that god-awful time of night, eh?

Hopefully this blond moment will play out for the better...I am honestly expecting it not to, which makes me a little sad only because he really is a great guy...and also sad because I am a bit tired of people running from me* because I have a child**. It's a tough world we live in.

*Wouldn't it be kind of funny if people saw me out with little man and actually DID start running in another direction? (At least I still make myself laugh even though I feel like an idiot right now. lol)

**Especially because little man really is an amazing component of my life. I know I always say I want guys/people to see me as a person first, but let's face it...I AM a mom, and there's no changin that fact.

Relationships

For a long time, I was never comfortable in social situations. I had a looming feeling that I needed to impress people, and would never fail to say something obsurd or annoying. It was never intentional, it's just something that always seemed to happen.
Some things haven't changed, however, one important thing has. This past week, I met up with some great people I hadn't seen in years. We were brought together again because of the passing of a high school classmate. Although I hadn't spoken with this classmate since high school, I felt an extremely strong urge to honor him, his life, his family and his friends by attending his services. I had known him since elementary school, and it was the least I could do.
His untimely passing gave all of us a shining opportunity to catch up with each other. I wish it were under better circumstances, but I am so thankful I was able to spend time with these people.
When I arrived home after spending a night with these people, I was struck with an amazing realization. For the first time, I felt like myself around this particular group of people. The feelings of expectation had faded from my inner conscious. It was a simple night. It was a great night. I hope there are many more of these nights to come.

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Particularly, around this "time of the month" I tend to get a bit down about the way my life is going. I have dozens of people I know, but this "time of the month" never fails to whisper in my ear that I don't have many people who are besties. I feel saddened by this and only blame myself...but somethings are not to blame, and although I'm the first to point the finger at "me", I know I am just being a bit melodramatic.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

All of the thoughts running through my head are stark reminders that relationships are valuable and precious. Friends, family, acquaintances and peers. All are delicate. All deserve the utmost respect. All are what make us rounded individuals.

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I am one who tends to shrug these types of feelings off with a "meh." I have the feeling(s), I let them out, I go to bed, and I wake up with a smile on my face in the morning. Maybe that's weird to some...but to me, it's what I do best. If you stuck with this post for this long...Thank you (or should I be saying I'm sorry. hehehe).

Last Night in Six Words

Date. Butterflies in stomach. Go Twins!

Happy Anniversary!

As of today, I've been in my current position for a year. It is a milestone of time that has flown past my eyes in a glorious and enjoyable whirlwind. My coworkers are amazing. The work is steady. My boss is unbelievably supportive of my professional and personal life. At times, it feels like my own personal utopia...and I love every second of it.
I never envisioned myself as a part of the corporate world...more so, I never fathomed actually enjoying the majority of my time spent working.
Maybe I love the company I am currently receiving my paychecks from because I respect them and their business decisions. I had previously worked in a horrible politically motivated environment. Switching positions and companies has given me a breath of fresh air that I enjoy breathing in every morning as my alarm goes off to start my day.
I am so thankful for the opportunities I've been fortunate for this past year. I am extremely excited for the opportunities my company is providing for my future. I've got a cheesy grin on my face, and I don't see it going away anytime soon.

Thanks Baby Boy

Dear Little Man,
The past week has been a whirlwind of emotions. Some amazing, some not so much. In all, it has reminded me to cherish you even when you seem to go out of your way to upset me. Somehow, you manage to make me smile when smiling feels like an impossible feat. I love that about you. Like how you looked at me early Monday morning, and without prompting, smiled and told me I looked pretty. This was the first time you've ever said something like that to me. It was exactly what I needed to hear. Thanks baby boy.
Lately, on the way home from school, you've been in a semi-serious mood. I wish I could capture your facial expressions on camera. They're adorable (and I'm not just saying it either...they are equally as funny as they are cute, I promise!). You tell me something, like "I want fruit snack mama" and then pout your lips out, have a serious brow, and shake your head. It almost looks like you have convinced yourself of a brilliant idea, and I would be crazy not to go along with it. I've found myself laughing at this expression on more than one occasion. Thanks baby boy.
You seem to be a potty-trained master. As much as it drives me nuts, it's very entertaining to race you to the potty when we walk in the door in the afternoon. Mommy always seems to have the urge to go..and your little man feet never fail to scurry behind me while you proclaim "NO MAMA!! I GO POTTY!!" This past week, you've started to take my poor bladder into consideration. When I hear "Your turn now mama!" I can not resist a smile from the way you are using your "toddler manners". Thanks baby boy.
Tomorrow, mommy will have been at her "new job" for exactly a year. You've endured countless early mornings, many long days, followed by random nights filled with errands here and there. I try my best to have at least one quality moment with you each day. The sounds of your giggles recharge my batteries, and reminds me why being your mama is so amazing. Thanks baby boy.

I love you from here to the moon, and back again!
Mama

Hopes and Fears

I'm going to let you in on a little secret. I haven't kissed a boy in over five months....and I wasn't sober at the time. In fact, I do NOT remember the last time I had a truly passionate, sober, heart stopping kiss. Does a person forget how to kiss? Please tell me it's like riding a bike. Kissing God, if you're out there...please have mercy on me!

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

I have to attend two funerals on Monday. It seems like the only thing going right in my life (aside from little man's health) is my dating life...and let me tell you, I thought hell would freeze over before that would happen.
I just haven't felt like myself the past couple of days. I start thinking about everything that has happened and I start spontaneously ugly crying. I really hope I snap out of this soon.

Friday Finds

In lieu of all of the crappy things going on in my life...I've decided to make a sad and pathetic attempt to lighten the mood....

WHO'S UP FOR THE GOOGLE SEARCH WORDS USED TO FIND THIS LITTLE OLD BITTY?? I AM! I AM!

So here goes it...the words that people typed into google, and led them here (in no particular order..) (I lied...they're in order of my least favorite to most favorite...or are they...dum dum dummmmmm)

~ Tragic spinster
~ Twilight zone circus
~ bich ers (really, I didn't type that wrong...it's really what was used. I know, right?)
~ pondering thoughts on life.
~ cinderella twists and turns
~ stacy eharmony (creepy!)
~ pandora duece (huh?)
~ sailor language (GUILTY!)
~ random life questions to ponder
~ good by in sailor language (again, that's the exact phrase..weird, huh?)
~ stuck in a rut (oh snap!)
~ bumper sticker, go fly a kite (werd)

Really people, I couldn't make this stuff up if I tried. Hope you're having a lovely Friday!

Hugs'n Smootches Around!!

Words Really Cannot Describe...

My heart hurts while I am writing this...just thought I should warn you.

This week, while filled with fun and exciting news about my recent rekindled dating life, has been riddled with gut-wrenching news.

I found out on Monday afternoon that a classmate of mine from high school had fallen ill, and had been rushed to the hospital. His diagnosis was bleak. I'll spare you the details, but to sum it up, it was cancer. Tuesday afternoon, a message was posted that he had passed away. I was in shock.

I hadn't spoken with this person in a long time...but I have very fond memories of him. He was the type of guy who loved to argue for the sake of arguing. He would read people's reactions to his words, and fuel his arguments off of their passion. It was equally annoying and entertaining. He had a kind heart that you could see in his eyes. He was far too young to perish.

This afternoon, while sitting in a class, I received an email from little man's daycare with a subject line reading: Important. In this email, I was informed that the three month old baby of little mans's former toddler teacher was found dead in his crib. The second I read this news, I got up from my chair and walked out of the classroom (lucky for me the class had been over for a minute, and people were filling out the class evals, and leaving shortly after). I composed myself, finished my eval, and v-lined for my car so I could let my emotions out.

I am finding myself tear up as I'm writing this. I just wrote out the details of what happened to Cameron, but my moral judgments are deeming them too graphic to post on my blog. If you care to hear the unabridged version, email me and I'll tell you. It really makes no difference how he passed away...the fact remains that a mother is without her baby, a father without his son, and a little boy without his little brother. I can't even begin to understand the void they must all be feeling...my heart pains for them.

My crying and hysterics this afternoon only lasted for about ten minutes. Once my tears had dried, my mind started racing to figure out what I could do to help out Amy's family. The best I could come up with is to organize a group effort of daycare parents to get together and prepare one-dish meals that can be frozen, and reheated. I just sent out an email to the group, and am waiting for feedback.

I just can't seem to wrap my mind around all of this. Hopefully the sun will shine tomorrow.

Any Suggestions?

Ok...So I outed myself about the second date..and now I need your help. What is a fun and appropriate second date? I am really looking into doing something slightly non-traditional..and with a high amount of fun involved.
A couple of traditional ideas I've come up with:
~Bowling
~Dinner and a movie

I really want to take a trip to the apple orchard...but I would love to reserve something like that for a third date (IF there's a third date...).

Is it bad that I'm hoping there's some sort of drinking involved to help ease any awkwardness of "the goodbye"? I mean, I barely remember the last time I kissed a boy!! I have a nervously excited ball of giddiness in my tummy :)

WHEW!

Well readers...I did it. I took the plunge, and met a second guy from ewhatthehellwasithinkingharmony.
We went through all of the online dating "hoops", spoke with each other on the phone, and had setup a lunch date for today.
The plan was to meet at a restaurant close to my work. I won't lie...I was EXTREMELY nervous about meeting him. He seemed very nice on the phone (but so did the last guy). His profile pictures looked nice (as did the last creep guy).
All fears and inhibitions aside, I enjoyed a lovely lunch with a very nice and well mannered guy. We setup a second date, and at the sake of jinxing myself, I'm really excited.

Well...I'm Wishing...

A few of my friends tipped me off to a full ride scholarship available to working mothers. It was very easy to apply (almost too easy). All you had to do was log in to their website, fill out a brief questionnaire, and submit an essay about how a full ride online college scholarship would benefit you. I submitted my application on a whim.

I just received the following email:

Dear Project Working Mom Applicant,

We want to thank you for applying for a scholarship to Ashford University . We received an unprecedented number of applications – more than 24,000! All applications are currently under review and we will announce our ten scholarship recipients on September 30, 2008. Thank you again for your interest in Ashford University .

Sincerely,
Ashford University

So...to the more than 24,000 OTHER applicants vying for this scholarship...could 24,991 of you step aside and leave a spot for me? This would definitely be too good to be true...Should I start holding my breath now, or later?

My Utopia

When I grow up I'm not sure if I want to be famous, or a star, or be in movies.

When I grow up, I'd love to see the world, drive a nice car, but I'm not so sure I'd be interested in having groupies.

When I grow up, I don't need to be on TV, have people know me, or be on magazines.

When I grow up, I want to be happy, surrounded with people who are morally upstanding, and live life to the fullest without being materialistic.

I've been careful what I wish for because I just might get it...and by-golly, wouldn't that be fantastic.

Dazed and Confused

I was looking forward for some low key hanging out since 8am Friday morning. As much as I love my job, the time couldn't fly fast enough. I was set to pick up a pizza and hang out with a girl friend from high school. I needed some chill time...it was long overdue.
The night was great....until just after my friend left. A chill swept over my body, and before I knew it, I had spiked a fever.
I just don't get it. It seems like I ALWAYS get sick on the weekend! Not only was I determined to not get sick, but I was also supposed to attend a bachelorette party. As much as I had needed a chill night in, I needed a crazy night out on the town with the girls. I popped two extra strength advils, in hopes that this would pass...but I woke up the next morning and felt like I had been hit by the sick bus. I was miserable.
Determined to pretend like I wasn't sick, I got dressed and took my car to get a few minor things worked on...as the time passed, the urge to crawl back into bed grew stronger. I made a call to say I wasn't going to be able to make it to the party, went home, and slept the noon hour away with little man.
When we woke up, the sitter I had planned to watch little man came over and took him out so I could rest. I slept the entire afternoon away...and when they came home I ALMOST felt like I could go out...but I knew better than that. I settled in, and called it a night.
This morning I woke up with a nasty headache...almost as if I had actually gone out and drank. I was a bit stumped...but I'm thinking it was from a lack of caffeine. Between you and me, I'm already looking forward to this coming Friday, since this entire weekend was a giant sick/sleep fest!!

I DID IT!

I feel slightly accomplished today. I finally figured out how to juice up my title picture!! I am a girl with little to know knowledge on these sorts of things...and I did it all on my own, without asking for help. I know there are fancier layouts..but this change is just what I was looking for. I'll step off of my soapbox now! I just couldn't resist relishing in the moment :)

FYI

...I'm trying to redo my title...please bear with my lack of computer knowledge while I try and construct something eye catching and not totally HUGE!
And while you're at it..I added the new "Follow Me" button...it's pretty easy to use (I think)...so will ya do me a favor and boost my ego by following me already? Thanks

I'll Always Remember.

To divert myself from myself...I am going to share what I was doing on 9/11.

It was my freshman year at UMD. I had just moved into my hotel room dorm. I was "one of those kids" who applied for college at the last second, was accepted, and then placed into overflow housing. Overflow housing at UMD consisted of living in a hotel on the shore of Lake Superior...which was pretty fantastic, aside from the fact that my parents didn't allow me to have a car, and I had to take a shuttle bus every time I needed to go to campus.

I was supposed to be in a Philosophy class. While I was walking through the halls, I noticed they were baron. It was a very odd feeling. The class started at 8am, being the ambitious college student that I was (for the first week of school at least...) I was ten minutes early. I heard the faint buzzing of an overhead radio, but my ears had to be lying to me. The radio was telling me that an airplane had crashed into a building in NYC...HUH? Once I reached class and had learned that the radio hadn't been lying, I v-lined it to a friend's on-campus apartment. When she answered the door, we both dropped our jaws and agreed this couldn't be happening. She told me she was going to change quick, but to take a seat in her living room and watch tv. It wasn't 30 seconds after I had sat down that I witnessed the second plane hit the second tower. I shouted for my friend, who raced into the living room. Thinking about that moment still brings chills down my spine, and a tear to my eye.

Throughout the day, I heard rumors that gas was going to spike to six dollars a gallon. I was told airplanes were grounded nation wide. When I looked out my hotel-dorm window, to see an airplane flying I had a mini anxiety attack, and called my mom. She informed me that there was an airbase close by, and the only planes allowed to fly were military planes. This calmed me, but only slightly.

Around 8pm that night I received a phone call. My uncle had suffered a major heart attack. The episode left him in a coma. I hadn't been allowed to bring a car with me to college. I felt stranded, and was longing to be home with my family. My mom made it to duluth by 11, and we were on our way back to the cities. We didn't say much on the car ride home...It was the longest two hours of my life.

When I returned to school the next week, my uncle was still hanging onto his life. I had wanted to stay with my family until all was said and done, but my parents pushed me to go back to duluth. My uncle passed away the next day.

It wasn't the start to my college career that I had hoped for... I guess you can say I learned the hard way you can't always get what you want.

Santa's Response

Dear Stizzle,

You are on top of your game this year! In fact, you are the first letter I've received for the upcoming holiday season. I appreciate your organization and thoughtfulness for writing me so soon.
As per your requests...
I would love to give you a fun toddler device that would change your little boy into a well behaved child, but as you already said, such a device does not exist. I will say, as long as you keep loving him, and smiling through the tough times, he will turn out to be a great young man.
Your requests make me out to be God-like...this, I am not. Keep your thoughts positive, and your goals in perspective. Life will throw you curve balls, but as long as you keep your eye on the ball...you should have no problem hitting it out of the park.
Now...be sure to sit down with Little Man and help him write a list for me. I look forward to hearing back from you and your family.

Love, Peace and Holiday Cheer for All,
Santa

Dear Santa

Dear Santa,

I know my wish list is a bit preemptive...But I couldn't wait to write to you to request a few small miracles things.

1)a device that will turn my toddler from a hellion into a good little boy again.

2)patience...since you and I both know that such a device does not exist.

3)a savings account that will allow me to purchase a home for myself and little man.

4)the motivation to keep my house clean, and the laundry put away.

5)companionship...Not from you Santa (although, I think you're a great guy and all...) this is more of an "in general" request. (also, please notice how I didn't say Husband or Boyfriend like I have said in years past...maybe this is a sign that I'm growing up...Maybe it's a sign that I'm alright with a great friend...Whatever it is, I hope you can help out)

6)a winning fantasy football team.

7)strength, both physical and emotional.

I really think I've been a "good girl" this year (if you don't count that one time...you know what I'm talking about...). Nobody's perfect, right? I'm sure I'll be sending you a more updated list soon.

Thanks Santa! Much Love,
Stizzle.

Motivating?

Dear Me,

Please start following through with life. Thanks much. Bye.

Dreaming a good Dream.

I fully understand and believe that dreams are not meant to be interpretted literally. On that note, I am going to go against the grain, and hope the dream I had last night literally becomes a reality sooner than later. I won't bore you with the details...just know that it involved me and my famiy, a real estate agent, and my grandmothers house (which was sold a good fifteen years ago...).

Things that make me go Hmmm.

At the risk of having an Andy Rooney moment...here are some things/concepts I just can't seem to grasp:

How my house seems to turn into a disaster area within the blink of an eye.

I have a lot of people in my cell phone directory...why do I spend most of my nights alone?

How am I going to acheive my goal of becoming a homeowner in the next two and a half years, when I can hardly seem to afford to pay the bills I currently have?

Allergies.

The reasoning (or lack there of) of a 2 1/2 year old little boy.

Laundry. Loads and Loads of laundry.

The reasoning (or lack there of) of men.

Immediate family.

Neighbors in apartment buildings.

Neighbors in general.

Luck.

Heartache-filled Void.

"I want my daddy." The words feel like a a dull sword slowly slicing away at my heart. I try to tell him he has his mommy...and that his mommy loves him very much. I make every attempt to reassure him of this. My heart aches for the void he feels. I wipe silent tears from my eyes. I wish things were different.

Help.

When you witness a friend self destructing...and they keep saying how horrible things are for them...yet they keep making the same destructive decisions causing their life to be so horrible...when is enough, enough?

I have known her for about four years. We've maintained a telephone friendship...rarely hanging out in person due to geographic variances. When I had little man, that was an added reason for me to stay a bit closer to home. She was in a "serious relationship" and had turned into a "we person" making her life too busy to be able to come to my neck of the woods (which I really didn't hold against her).

The "serious relationship" recently ended...and our conversations about her mental health grew immensely. She's been in treatment before. She constantly tells me she shouldn't drink, yet she consistently ends up with people who are drinking...which always results in her getting extremely drunk.

The next day is always the same. The conversation is: "I had a horrible night. I ended up getting wasted, calling (insert random guy here). I really need help. I really need to go to treatment." I reply with "I'm here for you. Yes, you need help. AA is free, and I really think it would be a great start." To which the advice is met with resistance...

I bite my tongue as much as possible..but a few slip ups of my strong opinions are inevitable. We never get into a fight about her sobriety...but each time she tells me she has gone out and drank herself into a stupor, my feelings of empathy slowly fade away.

I wish I knew how to solve her issues. As time goes on, I am realizing that task is darn near impossible. I hate to say this, but I'm slowly giving up hope that she will be healthy.

So, again...I ask you: When is enough, enough?

Speechless...

almost.
This morning was lovely. It started earlier than I had wanted it to (but that's a 2 1/2 year old for ya!). We started the day with some delicious pancakes, and headed outside to play some more t-ball (if interested, I'll totally post the pics when we get home!).
Lunch was some yummy chicken salad (from the left over chicken BBQ-ed the night before)...and then it was nap time. Really, the day was amazing. Sunny with a nice breeze to keep you feeling comfortable.
After nap time, we (meaning my uncle and I) decided to take little man out in the row boat for his first Island Lake experience. We were armed in life jackets, my camera and two oars. The only deterrent SHOULD HAVE been the 20 mph wind...but who are we kidding?
Our Goal: to paddle out to the sand bar (which is directly across the lake, and slightly to the south of our cabin).
Mission Sand Bar To Feed The Sunfish was going alright, considering the oars kept falling out of their holders....We made it to JUST past the island (which is slightly north or our cabin) when the white-capped waves from the 20+mph winds kicked our small dingy headed north....fast.
I kept thinking someone would stop and see if we were alright....and that never happened.
Maybe we ended up on the shore, about a 1/4 mile from our cabin. Maybe my uncle fell over in the water. Maybe I also ended up in the water slowly walking the boat (containing my uncle and little man) back to our cabin...trudging through mucky weeds and fighting the strong winds. Maybe we ended up being blocked by a ginormous tree that was laying a good 40 feet into the lake....Maybe I ended up sitting on said tree, holding the boat little man was in while my uncle was walking to our neighbors house. Maybe a pontoon FULL OF PEOPLE drove past me sitting on said tree holding the boat containing my little man...and DID NOT STOP OR SEE IF WE WERE ALRIGHT...and maybe that was the point of my small/short mental breakdown.
Long story short, my uncle was able to get our neighbors boat to tow us to safety. For a moment, I was a bit concerned...but we made it home, and have a crazy story to tell in the process.

My uncle has owned this cabin for over 20 years...I spent many summers up here...we both should have known better than to go out on the lake without a motor...The good thing is we all made it home safe...It was quite the adventure!

**Note: The picture is not quite to scale...but it was the best I could do!! hehehe