Too Good, or Not Good Enough

If I was asked to label myself as a pessimist or an optimist I would almost always declare myself an optimist..ya know, a glass half-full kinda gal.

While doing some laundry last weekend, I found myself with a mixture of both pessimism and optimism, and I can't decide what to do about it.

OF COURSE it has to do with my (lack-there-of) dating life.

What, exactly, was nagging me?

Simple:

Whenever I talk to my friends about wanting to date they always respond with this fun tid-bit...."I don't know anyone I'd want to set you up with...none of the guys I know would be good enough for you to date." My friends are good people, with great morals...of course I (mostly) trust what they're saying.

...but then the little devil on my shoulder quietly whispers in my ear "really, YOU'RE the one not good enough for them! MWHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

I know, I know...I'm a good person. I do the best job I can with little man. I have a job (which is totally a bonus, considering I could milk the system and stay at home with little man...but my conscious would NEVER allow me to do that).... I'm also flawed.
I've got a minimum of 40lbs to lose. My face never seems to stay clear of blemishes (much like that of a 13 year old girl...grrr). My credit needs significant improving. When I PMS I am literally a biz-natch on wheels.

SO peeps...How can I come to a clear concise conclusion that I've yet to meet a guy good enough for me VERSUS me not being good enough for the guys I've met (and my friends have been too kind to actually say that to me).

Part Cuatro.

Emily said...
This sounds like fun... I might do it too. In the meantime:

What is one thing you take for granted in daily life that would make things impossible if it disappeared?

What's the best part of your day? The worst?

I think the one thing most people take for granted daily, myself included, is having a safe place to sleep at night, and food in their kitchen. It's the simplest luxury, and I know my life would be different if I was uncertain where my next meal would be coming from or if I would be able to find shelter come nighttime.

The best part of my day, without a doubt, is the morning time. Here's how it goes down. I typically set my alarm for 5:40-ish...and hit the five-minute snooze about four times. Sometimes, little man crawls into my bed around 5am, and snuggles in...Sometimes I get the pleasure of waking him up. Either way, the first time we see each other in the morning we both smile. It's lovely.

The worst part of my day is usually the car ride home from little man's daycare. I know his days are long, and he's a bit demanding in the seven minute car trip. My patience is intolerably low. It's quite unfortunate, but I'm thankful the ride is only seven minutes!!!

Part Tres.

sky girl said...
Most embarrassing moment?

Hmmm....Wow, thinking back I've had MANY embarrassing moments. Not many have fun, elaborate stories behind them.

There was the time the kid I had a crush on was told so by a classmate when I was young...At the time, Wayne's World was a popular movie. The boy was told that I thought he was "hot, shawing" and then was told that's exactly what I said (which it WAS exactly what I said...but he didn't need to know that).

Then there was the time in high school when my pants ripped down my arse seem in the middle of an Emergency Medical Technician class I was in. Yeah...that did a great deal of help to my already suffering self esteem.

The classic "I have to go big stinky mom!" in the middle of a public place could almost be counted as embarrassing...but then I look at little man and I laugh, interpreting the situation as adorable instead of mortifying.

Sidebar: I taught little man to say "Hey Bachelors! Mama's single!"...When the day comes and he actually says that to a random guy walking down the street will most likely be the day I have my most embarrassing moment. I should definitely start thinking before I teach my son fun Toddler Tricks.

Strange at it may sound, it's quite a challenge to recount all of the embarrassing moments in my life. I tend to block things out of my memory, and embarrassing moments are high on the list of "just forget it and it will be like it NEVER HAPPENED!"

Part Duece.

doahleigh said...

Do you prefer a bikini or a one-piece swimsuit?

What size shoe do you wear?

Are you a hat person?

Let me first start out by saying that I HATE swimsuits. Sorry...but I do. That comes along with having a poor self image, and spandex? Really...who LIKES spandex? Not this chick!!
That being said, I currently wear a two piece suit that looks like a one piece. It's totally a mom-suit that's trying to be hip (which I guess is fitting considering me...haha). It's a black and purple halter (that shows WAY TOO MUCH boob cleave) with black shorts with a skirt overlay..that's right, I wear a skirt bottom...Seriously, you try having a kid and becoming addicted to Coldstone Creamery your third Tri and you'll be wearing a skirt too...trust!

My feet have been referred to as ski's on many occasions. I wear size 10 shoes. I've been told by shoe guru's that size 10 is the most common size in the U.S...I'm not quite sure if that's true or not! I think I only know one other girl with the same size shoe as me. You know what they say about a girl with size 10 shoes???? Me neither!

Am I a hat person? Yes and no. I really like wearing stylish hats...but don't have many in my closet. I'm known for hat stealing/borrowing though. I'll also voluntarily wear a Twins cap to a ballgame.

The first couple answered...

Mandy said...
Where do you see yourself in 5 or 10 years.

If you could change one thing that would completely alter the course of your life as you know it today, would you?

Hmmm, let's see here. In 5 years I see myself with an EIGHT YEAR OlD BOY! Oh my god..I need a Xanax! (kidding...about the drugs of course).
If it were up to me, I would be happily married, expecting my second child. I would live in quaint house, and be Susie-homemaker. Aren't dreams great?
In reality, I will be single, continuing to struggle getting my life squared away. I think I'll have wrapped up school, and will also be in a different position but hopefully at the same company I'm currently at.

...FYI, that was poorly written because I have a really difficult time trying to figure out where my life is headed. You'd think it wouldn't be that difficult of a question!!

If I could change one thing that would completely alter the course of my life, I would move out of Minnesota. I would land somewhere with about six less weeks of winter..but a place that still would have a white Christmas. People are people, no matter what state or country you reside in..this i know. I just have a feeling that I'm not meant to settle in Minnesota. I don't feel like I belong here for some crazy reason.

Not only would a move alter my life, but it would alter little man's life. If I end up moving, I would feel the most comfortable moving before he enters kindergarten...which would only give me two years to get my act in order.
Generally I'm one to go where the wind blows me...but lately, I haven't felt much wind. Maybe life will start blowing around again...maybe it won't. For now, I've dedicated my focus on being happy and healthy.

Let it Snow.

Dummy Ass.

Those were the two words uttered by my (near) 3.5 year old on the way to daycare this morning. As I sat in my car, wishing I could get in little man's face to look him in the eye and remind him that words like Dummy Ass are naughty and inappropriate, I opted for the next best thing....Telling him he would go straight to bed or have his toys taken away if he continued to make poor language choices (yup, I'm one of "those moms").

Before I could finish my sentence, little man interjected and asked "Mama, do you have a Dad?" I felt frozen like a dear in headlights.

Was he trying to distract me from his poor behavior? Maybe.

Was his question pure and from his heart? Possibly.

I swallowed, took a deep breath, and was truthful with him.
"Yes honey, I have a Dad."
He immediately responded with "Why?" and the best I could come up with was "Well, it's just the way it is."

I have no way of knowing how his little brain interpreted my half-arsed answers. I could tell his little gears were grinding.

For the last 24 hours I have been asked a million and two times when Christmas was going to come. "Is it Christmas, mom?" "Now is it Christmas?" "Mom, it's Christmas?"

Following our morning discussion, and my lack-luster answers, little man asked if it was Christmas time. He mentioned he'd really like for Santa to bring him a Robot.
I don't know what his obsession with Christmas is truly about.

Speaking from experience, Christmas always seemed like a magical time to me. It wasn't magical because of presents...honestly. Christmas is magical because it just is. Although it's only August, I wish there was a way to harness the Christmas spirit right now....It sure would make life a little bit more sweet.

To Do Tuesday's

I'm just gonna come out and say it. I hate Tuesdays. I can't possibly think of a good thing that happens on Tuesdays.

Again, I know I've said this before...I'm just too lazy to look back in my archives and dig it up.

Here's why I hate Tuesdays:
1)While some may argue Monday's are tough...at least you are just coming off of a weekend on Monday.
2) Wednesdays are Hump Days. What's not to like about that?!
3) On Thursday, you have Friday to look forward to.
4) Friday and Saturday are self explanatory.

...the only day that could really come close to a Tuesday is a Sunday. Nah...Sundays aren't too bad because you aren't forced to get up and pretend to be coherent for eight (+) hours.

My proposition to you "to do" this Tuesday? Find me a good reason why I should start LIKING Tuesday. Anybody? Anybody? Bueller?

Questions and Life

This morning, I firmly believe pandora's box has been opened. While walking little man into school, I reminded him that he needed to hold mommy's hand while in the street. He graciously listened, but then let out a "Why mom?"

I almost peed my pants.

This was his first "Why" question...and I have a STRONG feeling it's not going to be his last.

I don't think I was much of a "why-child", but I know for certain that my brother was. I'll be the FIRST to tell you, it drove me nuts 22 years ago, and I'm convinced it's going to drive me nuts now!

Wow..saying something was bad "22 years ago" really makes me feel old.

When I was in my pre-teens, I remember hearing (on some television talk show) that statistically, if a woman truly believes she will be married by a specific age, her chances of being married when she was that specific age increases. Maybe this falls into line with self fulfilling prophecy...but I'll be the first to tell you that my prophecy was not self fulfilled.

I had always imagined I would be engaged at 24, and married by 26...with my first baby at 28. As a 13 year old, I had my life planned out perfectly. Little did I know I'd be a single parent of a 1yo at 24, still not engaged at 25...and who the hell knows WHERE I'll be at 26.

Although my life hasn't turned out the way I originally planned, I'm quite alright with that. I am a firm believer that good things come to those willing to wait... I've put in my time, and continue to pay my dues. I'm happy, and I think that's all that matters!

An Answer.

Oh.My.God. If I hear the Roseanne radio commercial where she talks about her vegas show, and you can tell she's reading a script, and the local dj's ALSO record scripted questions. SERIOUSLY! I might be forced to rip my ears off...and that wouldn't be a lot of fun for me.

ANYWAYS....

Onto answering Mandy's question:

If you had a chance to move anywhere in the world, where would it be and why?

I can feel my mind wandering to far off places right now. If you asked me this question pre-little man, I would answer without hesitation: New York City. However...it's not the best place to be single raising a toddler....SOOOO....hmmm, I'm a bit stumped. I am going to do myself a favor and rephrase the question so I can answer it :) If money were not an obstacle, I would move to a US coast, so I would have easy access to the ocean, as well as an international airport to travel back to MN in the spring and fall to enjoy the weather and see my parents and extended family.
I still have a lot of traveling ahead of me, so an living close to an international airport would be important and until I experience other parts of the world. I don't feel I'm educated enough (geographically speaking) to fairly weigh my options of moving to a different country. Do I want to visit Europe, South Africa, South America, Australia and New Zealand? OF COURSE! But until I experience their culture firsthand, I can't pinpoint where my dream home or area of the world would be.

Wow...what a lot of unnecessary rambling! I hope I answered your question!!

Rainbows and Butterflies.

Black Coffee...I just don't get it. How can a person drink something hot that leaves your mouth with an extremely bitter, unpleasant aftertaste? To me, drinking coffee straight black is like waking up, going down on a guy, and swallowing EVERY MORNING...It just doesn't make sense (that is, unless money is involved, or, they happen to tuck their shirts into their underware...I digress)!!

How do people resist adding sugar and cream/milk? It turns a hot, bitter drink into a smooth, deliciously nutty beverage. The cream and the milk enhance the coffee flavor, so instead of destroying your taste buds, they are treated to hot ice cream. It's genius!

I know people say they were conditioned to drinking straight coffee, just like they were conditioned to drink nasty keg beer in college. Once you grow up, you realize that there is more to beer than nasty bush light...so why don't people realize there's more to coffee like that with sugar and cream/milk? Let me repeat myself: I just.don't.get.it.

I'm now convinced whoever can stomach drinking straight coffee and swallowing in the morning, and also enjoys Bush Light keg beer is a terrorist. Watch out, Georgie Bush Jr. is gonna get ya!

I wonder how John McCain and Barack Obama take their coffee? Now THAT'S a good question!