I do exist!

Yes people...I do exist....

Honestly, just haven't felt compelled to write much about anything on here. There's no specific reason, really...I've had MANY things happen in my life recently. Perhaps it's a bit of a coming of age for me...I haven't relied on this corner of the net to vent my feelings, or to gain perspective on my life; instead, internalizing, reaching out to a select few whom are close to me, and gaining perspective through that route....a more personable, less public route.

Leh sigh.

I'm still a single, fully time working, single mother in her late twenties who struggles to find the right balance of friends, family, work, school and love (although, the love thing has been non existent for a loooooooooooooong time, I digress).

On the topic of love: How does a late 20-something get across her message that she's ready to have fun?? This so-called late 20-something is stuck at home, doesn't have the opportunity to go out and network in public, (nor does she really have time with her nutty work/family/school life to spend nights out), but in the same breath, this late 20-something has a void she's looking to fill. The void yearns for fun, laughing, and a splash of romance from time to time.

A little help please....?

Life is Good.

I received the nicest compliment today. A coworker of mine stopped at my desk this morning, and said:

“Ya know, I am so impressed with how much energy and enthusiasm you have with everything you are doing. You are a single mom, you work full time, you are in college, AND you’re coaching your son’s t-ball team…and you always seem to have a smile on your face.”

I was (and am) extremely flattered. My only response to him (besides saying Thank You) was “Well, I guess I’m extremely lucky that I’m doing things with my life that I love.”

And that’s the honest to god truth.

· I am fortunate to go to a job that I love…while I might not always like my assigned tasks, I absolutely love the company I work for, and the people I work with. Almost every day the stress of the traffic on Highway 100 fizzles knowing that I get to spend my day with people who are kind, and whom I have a LOT of respect for.

· I am lucky to be able to keep working towards my life goal of earning my bachelors degree. I have support from both of my parents (in that they are helping me with little man while I have classes), and it’s absolutely priceless.

· I have been blessed with a little boy who has changed my life in so many wonderful ways. He has kept me grounded, and reminded me that jumping in puddles and getting a little dirty. I’ve been graced with generous support from my friends and family, who have embraced my son with open arms, and are just as fond of him as he is of them…another gift that is truly priceless.

Sure, there are things in my life that would make it even sweeter, but I don’t have the time to focus on that. Heck, if anything, I need to reevaluate the lack of communication I’ve had with my friends from being all too consumed with school, work and being a single parent, I digress. All of my energy is being spent cherishing the things in my life that are current and tangible; friends, family, and work. I’m far from perfect, but I’m happy with me…and it feels good.

Needed Change

Want to hear an interestingly sad statistic? The ratio of the American dollar to the Euro is the same ratio of Men’s vs Women’s pay scales, where for every dollar a man makes, a woman makes roughly $0.75.

Sure, men can work longer hours because most men who choose to have families are allowed to do so.

Sure, women who choose to have families tend to sacrifice time at the office because most women are expected to do so.

Is the professional input of a man's brainpower vs. a women's brainpower really different? I think all people have valuable input in business and in life, and I think it's bogus that corporate America boasts equal opportunity, but is a .25/dollar pay scale difference based upon a sexual organ REALLY equal?

I call BS.

For people out there who don't think the difference is a big deal, go to Europe and tell me you don't feel like it's expensive....after all, 25 cents per dollar spent really adds up.

Just sayin'.
Just

A bit in shock

Less than a month was all it took to defeat him.

Boom.

The big C struck.

Boom.

Doing my best to emotionally get through today. The next week will be one of the biggest challenges I've faced in 2010...watching people I love deal with heavy hearts, and doing my best to be a shoulder for them to lean on, all the while dealing with my own internal dialogue.

Send me some good vibes if you have any extra to spare.

Jumping in Head First

I did it. I am one paper away from being 100% enrolled in college, with classes beginning September 7th. Damn, that feels great to write down!!!

How do I currently feel?

Well, a bit appalled at how long it has taken to wrap up my debunked financial past to become eligible for financial aid again (and to have my old transcripts released). Sure, in the grand scheme of life, six months isn't a long time...but SIX MONTHS of constant phone calls, letters, meetings, emails...it takes a toll on a person's psyche. At one point, I had almost thrown in the towel and given up, but I didn't. I stuck with it, forged ahead, and here I sit, my first semester's classes nailed down...waiting on one final letter to submit to my new college.

As much as a whine that I live a solo life, I had a lot of support throughout this process, specifically from my dad (which surprised me more than you could ever possibly imagine). Other friends family members have been encouraging as well, and I wanted to throw them an Internet shout-out to say how much it means to me, and how truly grateful I am for all of their kind words of encouragement and support.

I will also apologize in advance for any school related rants that I am OH SO STRESSED OUT that are sure to come in the near future.

kthanksbye.

Hair Raising Question...

I need a little help from my friends.

On Mother's Day, I decided to treat myself to a day at the salon, sans little man. I went for a funky hair cut and added color for the first time in over five years. I wanted something dramatic, different, fresh and single...I left looking almost exactly the same...nothing dramatic ensued, and frankly I was a little bummed.

Maybe I wasn't clear when I was there?
Maybe I wasn't meant to have dramatic color that day?
One can't be too certain.

Feeling a little daring (what, with my cutting sugary drinks sent from heaven out of my diet), I'm going to go back and REALLY shake up my look.

I want your thoughts and suggestions!!

Currently I have brown hair that has natural reddish highlights with very subtle blonde streaks left from my last trip to the salon.

Go. Comment away! I'm open for any and all suggestions!

Hello Mr. Coffee.

In an effort to shake things up a little in my life…I’m boldly going where I’ve sworn I’ll never go. People, I’m drinking coffee without sugar or cream.

(Insert gasps, screams and jaw dropping expressions here)

The first sip shocked my bitter taste buds. I almost threw up my hands in defeat and killed my coffee with the forbidden sweeteners….key word: almost.

After the third sip, it really wasn’t as bad as I thought it was going to be. During my food revolution the past few months, I’ve been trying to be as conscious as possible about what I’m actually fueling my body with. Throughout my process, I neglected to pay an ounce of attention (haha, no pun intended) to the sweetened beverages that I pour down my throat almost daily.

Regular soda, vanilla latte’s, white chocolate mocha’s (be still my heart!). You get the picture.

I’m not saying I won’t indulge on said sweet treats…what I’m saying is I’ll only indulge on them once or twice a month instead of daily (and at the very least give it my best attempt to cut back). I love my body too much to keep polluting it with unnecessary processed crap.