A bit in shock

Less than a month was all it took to defeat him.

Boom.

The big C struck.

Boom.

Doing my best to emotionally get through today. The next week will be one of the biggest challenges I've faced in 2010...watching people I love deal with heavy hearts, and doing my best to be a shoulder for them to lean on, all the while dealing with my own internal dialogue.

Send me some good vibes if you have any extra to spare.

Hello Mr. Coffee.

In an effort to shake things up a little in my life…I’m boldly going where I’ve sworn I’ll never go. People, I’m drinking coffee without sugar or cream.

(Insert gasps, screams and jaw dropping expressions here)

The first sip shocked my bitter taste buds. I almost threw up my hands in defeat and killed my coffee with the forbidden sweeteners….key word: almost.

After the third sip, it really wasn’t as bad as I thought it was going to be. During my food revolution the past few months, I’ve been trying to be as conscious as possible about what I’m actually fueling my body with. Throughout my process, I neglected to pay an ounce of attention (haha, no pun intended) to the sweetened beverages that I pour down my throat almost daily.

Regular soda, vanilla latte’s, white chocolate mocha’s (be still my heart!). You get the picture.

I’m not saying I won’t indulge on said sweet treats…what I’m saying is I’ll only indulge on them once or twice a month instead of daily (and at the very least give it my best attempt to cut back). I love my body too much to keep polluting it with unnecessary processed crap.

The Great Outdoors

2010 has been a treat thus far.

Last week, I was fortunate enough to spend time up north, at my Uncle's cabin. It's located 3.5 hours northwest of the cities...nestled on a small/medium lake.

As a child, I spent a lot of time at this cabin. Exploring the woods, fishing off of the dock, taking the row boat out to the island and pretending it was my own little oasis. They were great times, and I was extremely ecstatic to grant little man some of the same memories.

The week started out with a bang. We rented a pontoon for a few days, and anchored on the sandbar. The sun was out, the eagles and loons were letting their presence be known. Could you ask for anything more peaceful?

The only day it rained was a day I had planned on running errands, since I had only intended on staying up north for a few days instead of an entire week.

Oh, and let it be known, we also went to the local turtle races (don't be jealous).

It was a nostalgic week for me. Relaxing and just what the doctor ordered.

++++++++++++++++++++++

After spending some time up north, I've brainstormed a little bucket list for the remainder of 2010:

• Go canoeing on the St. Croix - it's something I've always wanted to do...any takers?
• Take a day trip to Duluth and go down the Timber Twister - I saw a news story about it, and it looks like an absolute blast...again, any takers?
• Explore one more state park before the winter frost sets in
• Schedule a couple of hours at the spa - because I'm worth it.

Do you have a bucket list going for yourself? Do you have any suggestions for mine?

The Simple Things in Life

Weekends spent with myself (and myself only) are as rare as a 90 degree day in January…in Minnesota.

This weekend spontaneously turned into one of those rare treats. It was a bit ironic that the week that both little man and I were sick was concluded by a weekend spent healthy and solo. Time spent away from each other is chicken soup for both of our souls.

What does a single late-twenty-something do with “free time”?

Hell if I know!

I started by meeting some friends for a pontoon ride on a local lake. Pure bliss. The sun beating down on the water, good company, and cold beverages were medicine for my soul. Sure, I had EVERY INTENTION of being productive at home….but to be able to get up and go, without making sure others have used the bathroom, have Blanket, or are in need of a nap, I digress.

I couldn’t resist traipsing around town, checking out a clothing store that is hell to bring a toddler to. Finding some AMAZING deals. Spontaneously spending my free Saturday night with a great friend from High School whom I don’t get to see often enough. Laughing. Having a few (more) adult beverages. Dancing to live music. Sleeping, uninterrupted.

My weekend was filled with a million simple things most single child-free people take for granted. It was blissful. It was calm. It was perfect….However, my heart prevailed and I was damn happy when life returned to me and little man. We might not live life to the beat of a single person’s drum, but I honestly do love the beat we live by.

Life can be amazing.

I was driving to work at the crack of dawn. It was a crisp, beautiful fall morning. Although I live in the city, my drive takes me past a stretch of highway that is desolate. A cemetery on one side of the road, trees bordering a neighborhood/strip mall on the other.

Pop.
Thug.
Thug.
Thug.

My tire had blown.

There I was, stranded on the side of the road. An eight month old in my back seat. A trunk FULL of crap. Cars whizzing by me...and OF COURSE the tire blew on the drivers side...so the cars that happened to whiz by were all of five feet from my back.

I knelt down, but couldn't get the bolt to loosen. When I stood up, I saw little man staring back at me, and I walked towards the curb and started to cry.

I felt defeated.
I felt alone.
I was scared.
I didn't know what to do.

I had called my work to let them know I'd be late. They gave me the highway helpers phone number...which is all fine and dandy, except for the fact that this happened DURING rush hour, and I was two miles AWAY from an actual highway. I called my dad, who basically responded with "what do you expect me to do?" as he was also at work.

Tears began to rush down my face.

As I sat in the front seat of my car, an object appeared in my rear view mirror. It was a man. He had stopped to help, and as hesitant as I initially was, I felt immediate relief. He told me to sit in my car. He changed my tire. He wouldn't accept a single cent from me. That day, he was my hero.

Human nature can be so powerful at times. I think back to that morning, over three years ago, and feel so blessed to have crossed paths with an individual who was selflessly caring and genuine.

Entitlement

Entitlement. Where does one develop such a thing? I suppose if you are the entitled, life is pretty darn good...but if you don't feel entitled then WHOA BOY watch out.

This morning I stopped into a small cafe to pick up a cup of joe and some milk for my breakfast. While at the checkout line I witnessed an entitled bizzo walk in, and snap at the guys working behind the counter. Now, I'm not close with the guys who work in this cafe, but I know they work darn hard, and that english is completely and totally their second language (props to them...because I ONLY know english...I digress).

See, when the woman approached the counter, they politely asked her what they could get for her...and that's when it happened. She rudely exclaimed "I order the SAME THING EVERY TIME I COME IN HERE....don't ask ME what I want"...then traipsed away.

I exchanged a WTF glance with the guys behind the counter.

This woman had SO MANY different ways of expressing that she wanted them to make "her usual"...and also didn't take a single second to realize that she wasn't THE ONLY PERSON who walked into the cafe around 7:30am and ordered breakfast.

Do I feel entitled? Not in the least. I am a person who deserves respect, sure...every one deserves respect.

Foiled.

What's worse than a foiled dinner?
I'll tell ya! What's worse than a foiled dinner is having a small taste of what's to come the night before, only to be left foiled come the night of said dinner...Grr.

Sunday was going well. We had taken a trip to the hospital to visit, watched some of the AWESOME Vikings game, and also made our way to the opposite side of town to visit with some MORE relatives.

On the way home, I was responsible and stopped at the grocery store to pick up meal items for my week..including the classic ingredients for Spaghetti and Meatballs.

Since I typically DREAD putting a meal together on Monday night, I thought I'd be proactive and put my meatballs together on Sunday night. In with the beef I mixed Italian bread crumbs, fresh grated Parmesan cheese, basil, garlic, onion, olive oil and a pinch of salt and pepper.

The brilliant mixture left me uneasy sitting raw in my fridge for too long...so I HAD to bake them right then and there. But what to do after they were done baking?? OH! I KNOW!! Put them in the crock pot with my homemade sauce mixture and let them all simmer together.....People, I was so excited that, not only was my meal ready to go, but all I would have to do come Monday night was boil some noodles and VIOLA! The perfect meal.

I've been a crock pot owner for YEARS...but I guess I don't use it enough to have crock-pot-common-sense. I let my sauce simmer with my meatballs overnight...in the morning things smelled AMAZING....so of COURSE I let it simmer on low while I was at work....only to arrive home on Monday night to burnt, nasty smelling stench that riddled my entire home.

My dinner was foiled....by my own stupidity.

Plain noodles with a pinch of parm was our dinner. Definitely not what I hoped it was going to be!!

Lesson learned.

Happy Sigh.

Today, I am happy.
Some would call me crazy...but if you knew me, you'd already know I'm all sorts of crazy.
The past few days have been whimsical. It has snowed in my neck of the woods...the first time in seven years we've had snow this early, and it makes me smile. Granted, I don't have many negative repercussions in terms of snow. I don't have to shovel or plow. I'm allowed the joys of kicking back, watching the flakes peacefully fall, and soaking it all up.
Since the first measurable snow came so early this year, it melted ALMOST as fast as it poured down. The air outside was warm while the flakes drifted down..unlike December when the air is generally VERY cold and frigid.
Some are claiming that summer went straight to winter...but they're overlooking the fact that September in MN had temperatures consistently higher than normal...if anything, the MN fall has been AWESOME thus far.
This morning, the sun has been shining. The leaves that are still clinging to the trees are glistening. The realization that the holidays are right around the corner can't escape my mind...and I am happy. Happy because the holidays mean seeing people....and people generally make me feel warm and loved.
At the first sight of snow, little man came rip-roaring into my room shouting "MOM! MOM! IT'S CHRISTMAS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" (bless his heart). I had to pull out my calendar to explain to him that Christmas was still a couple of months away...but lucky for me, his excitement was contagious.
I'm not only excited to be around people this holiday season...but also excited to show and teach him the importance and shear awesomeness of giving. Be it to a food shelter, or a toys for tots drive..my goal this year is not to shower him with gifts, but show him how to shower others around him.
So yeah...I'm happy today. Happy for the weather. Happy for my health. Happy for what's to come. Plain and simple, I'm happy.

People are Crazy.

How does one feel before they conquer the world? Well, I'll tell ya.

Nervous.
Excited.
Slightly overwhelmed at the minute possibility of failure.

Most of all, I feel like it's about damn time. (please excuse my extremly cryptic messages...I guess I'm also becoming slightly self sensoring in my old age)

With each life experience that passes me by, I've slowly opened my eyes to the acceptance of change. I've been able to comfort myself knowing that I'd welcome change rather than living an unfulfilled life, be it personally or professionally.

An awesome friend and blogger recently referred to the phrase "God is great, beer is good and people are crazy." I'm totally digging that phrase right now, except the spoon fed catholic inside of me would rather say "Life is good, beer is great, and people are crazy!"

Dear Perkins,

I visited store #3678 with a neighbor for dinner last night. We were immediately seated, and the restaurant was more than half empty. While waiting to be greeted and have our beverage order placed, I noticed only two servers tending to tables. Again, the restaurant was not particularly busy, but the two servers did seem a bit overwhelmed. Immediately, I also noticed that while there were two servers running around with the majority of the tables, two additional servers and the manager on duty were sitting at a table on the side of the restaurant rolling silverware and hanging out.
We sat at our table (with two three-year-olds, mind you) for twenty minutes before we were greeted by an employee. I could tell by the look on Rae's face (our server) that she was extremely overwhelmed. She took our order and was on her way.
An hour later we received our food.
I feel the food time was completely unacceptable, but do not hold our server responsible.
The person who upset me the most in this situation was the manager on duty. Throughout our entire wait, the manager continued to sit at a table with two other staff members while our server was running around overwhelmed and ultimately neglecting tables due to the lack of support from management. One of the servers sitting with the manager on duty placed a food order, received her food order and ate her food.
While our server was cashing out another table, the manager on duty brought a box to our table. At no time did the manager ask how our food was. In fact, I had to casually stop the manager and ask her if there was a reason why our food took an hour to make (which consisted of a salad, chicken tender melt, dollar pancakes and a kids grilled cheese).
She responded by having the audacity to tell me the restaurant was extremely busy and the kitchen only had two cooks. Her tone was off putting and very unprofessional. I could not believe my ears. I've been in the restaurant industry for years and I would love for you to run the numbers on what this store brought in last night. I am extremely confident that if you did so, you would find she was overstaffed and had low sales. Not once while we were in this restaurant were all of the tables full, nor was there a wait list for people to be seated.
I would also like to note that while we were waiting the hour for our food, three tables in the restaurant who had been seated after us, and had similar food orders as my table, received and paid for their food before my table had received our food.
After assertively approaching the manager on duty, I noticed she pulled Rae aside. Rae returned to our table and offered us desert, but at that point, I did not feel like staying in the restaurant due to my disdain for how the situation had been handled by the manager on duty. I feel very strongly that the manager should have reproached us and am very disappointed she did not do so.
While taking my son to the bathroom, Rae brought us a few pieces of pie in a to-go box, which was very kind on her behalf. Unfortunately a few of pieces of pie do not excuse the principal of the matter (the lack of professionalism, organization and support and poor communication skills from her lack luster manager). I can only hope this letter will prompt the General Manager to take a closer look at how poor the management at this location is. I can be quite certain I will not return to this location until I have been made fully aware that this will never happen again.
I have a copy of the check should you need to review it.
If asked what the best part of my experience at this establishment was, I can only come up with two things. The first being the great smelling bathrooms, and the second was leaving. Should you have any further questions, concerns or comments, please feel free to contact me.

Random Searches

I've totally got a case of the Monday's today. Not that I'm complaining, or that it's the worst thing since the invention of tapered pants...it just is.

Here are the most recent searches that have taken people to my site:

sailor language - Duh. I've got a dirty mouth, I need to buy a LOT of Orbitz.
ode to laughter - Isn't that the case?
bad dream - No surprise there...
Artificial Mermaid - Silver Chaos - Huh? That's what she said!
roller coaster twists and turns - Duh two times.
I grew up with gary spivey - My heart goes out to the person who felt inclined to search this...
a man of twists and turns - Interesting.
hehehaha - They forgot to type "and a couple of tra-la-la's"
happy birthday in sailor language - Who would've thunk it?
joe mauer slut burger - By far my most favorite search! I laugh every time I read it. hahahahahahaha. See?

I'd be honored. Really.
Happy Tuesday all!!

The Black Hills

Growing up, my family didn't take many vacations. We went on a Disney cruise which I'm sure cost my parents a fortune...spent some time in Florida here and there..but that was really it. My brother and I were able to go to summer camp a couple of times, but nothing too extravagent.

As thankful as I am for the sacrifices my parents made to afford me with a few good times, I am going to attempt to one-up them :) I am going to make an effort to take one road trip a year to a new state, place, park, etc. This year...myself and little man are packing our bags and heading to The Black Hills. I'm pretty stoked. I've never been to Mount Rushmore, and have heard from various peeps that there's a lot of fun things to do!! I hope it turns out to be as lovely as I'm picturing it in my head!

Either way, it will be a memory made.

Does anyone else think I'm crazy for voluntarily taking a 3 year old on a five+ hour road trip?

Yes.

Yes...it's the start of a new work week
Yes...the next week and a half are going to be pretty hectic for most people, with the looming holidays fast approaching
Yes...this makes me happy. Very happy.

Happy Monday!

Life is Good.

"None of my past relationships have worked out...but it only takes one to work! The rest is just a combination of practice and learning experiences!"

~K. Dohman

That's honestly how I am trying to live my life. With each day of my single-hood that passes, I start fearing that the light at the end of my single tunnel will fade to black forever...I'd be lying if I said this wasn't true. I am making an honest attempt to focus on the positives in my life, and not worry about my light fading. Life is too short to sit and reel over a future that you can't predict. So this is what I'm going to do:

Focus on now, not tomorrow.
Enjoy my single freedom of being able to do, say, wear, go and spend whatever I want, whenever I want.
Be thankful that I have a job which (not only) entertains me, but provides me with steady bi-weekly income so I can pay my bills, and afford a warm, safe place to sleep at night.

It will happen for me and my little guy (hopefully before the Vikings win a Superbowl). I'll keep my fingers crossed...and when it happens, I'll be sure to let you know.

Questions and Life

This morning, I firmly believe pandora's box has been opened. While walking little man into school, I reminded him that he needed to hold mommy's hand while in the street. He graciously listened, but then let out a "Why mom?"

I almost peed my pants.

This was his first "Why" question...and I have a STRONG feeling it's not going to be his last.

I don't think I was much of a "why-child", but I know for certain that my brother was. I'll be the FIRST to tell you, it drove me nuts 22 years ago, and I'm convinced it's going to drive me nuts now!

Wow..saying something was bad "22 years ago" really makes me feel old.

When I was in my pre-teens, I remember hearing (on some television talk show) that statistically, if a woman truly believes she will be married by a specific age, her chances of being married when she was that specific age increases. Maybe this falls into line with self fulfilling prophecy...but I'll be the first to tell you that my prophecy was not self fulfilled.

I had always imagined I would be engaged at 24, and married by 26...with my first baby at 28. As a 13 year old, I had my life planned out perfectly. Little did I know I'd be a single parent of a 1yo at 24, still not engaged at 25...and who the hell knows WHERE I'll be at 26.

Although my life hasn't turned out the way I originally planned, I'm quite alright with that. I am a firm believer that good things come to those willing to wait... I've put in my time, and continue to pay my dues. I'm happy, and I think that's all that matters!

Astute Observation

I just looked at my blog, and I had a Brittney Spears post, followed up by a Justin Timberlake post.

I'm cool.