Oh No You Didn't!

When you have a baby, your body changes. MOST normal women end up with a slight mom-pooch...the area between your belly button and your who-haw that is a little flubby, and doesn't quite know how to fit into jeans. I don't think I have been cursed with a HUGE pooch...but it's definitely there, and it definitely has a mind of its own.
My pooch has a mind of its own. For some reason, it cannot stand zippers. For this reason, I usually only wear button fly jeans. Today, getting dressed in the dark, I found a pair of jeans that appeared to be clean. When I discovered they were a zipper fly, I just said "eff-it! I don't have time to rummage in the dark for another pair!" and went on with my day...
Everytime I sit down...my darn pooch deems it necessary to UNZIP MY FLY! HOW EMBARRASSING!
I have tried to combat its stubborn attitude with a belt, but even that isn't working. Desperate times call for desperate measures...I will run today...for the second day in a row. TAKE THAT POOCH! THAT'S WHAT YA GET FOR UNZIPPING MY FLY WITHOUT MY PERMISSION!