WARNING: Language suitable for a sailor....dead ahead!
I.AM.CRABBY....not just crabby, but also a huge bitch on wheels. I can attribute my ginormous attitude to PMS. I can also attribute it to a few stressful situations in my life, including getting over a virus, getting little sleep during my bout with the nasty virus, the constant abuse from a toddler, a lot of extra responsibility at work, and being told (in slightly different words) that I wasn't taking responsibility for the well being of little-man. Fuck you.
I know there are a combination of different stressors in my life, and I shouldn't take everything out on one person...but when someone, anyone, has the audacity to tell me I'm not putting little-man first all I can say is Fuck You. My tone does not entail a raised voice. My tone is dry, and straight to the point.
For this person's information, I HAVE BEEN PUTTING THIS LITTLE GUY FIRST SINCE THE DAY I FOUND OUT I WAS PREGNANT! Wow...can ya sense the hostility? (GUILTY!)
I know everyone has everyday stress they deal with. I can empathize...but I refuse to tolerate someone acting like a victim. And, as life has shown tonight, if you act like a victim to this mama, especially when this mama is a bitch on wheels, I'll set ya straight...fo rizzy yo.
I really get heated when someone not only offends my parenting styles, but also finds it acceptable to go out drinking on a work night until 10pm. This same person refuses to be at my house until 8:30 (because that is when I am scheduled to arrive home from a same-day work trip), because being out until 8:30 and NOT being at a bar getting wasted is just something they cannot handle...it will totally deprive them of sleep and make them have a bad day at work....BULLSHIT!
At times like this I really really really wish that little-man had two different families to love him and help support me raise him. Particularly, grandparents who find every second spent with their grandchildren a joy, not a chore... When I find my companion, his family will not chose booze over their own family....one can only hope..
Again, I wish I was gifted with words so I could paint the full picture. My writing reminds me of the most abstract artwork you could imagine....like something painted by an elephant, although, some people would actually PAY for an elephant painting...and I would probably have to pay someone to read my rants....fucking life right?!
4 days ago