The Simple Things in Life

Weekends spent with myself (and myself only) are as rare as a 90 degree day in January…in Minnesota.

This weekend spontaneously turned into one of those rare treats. It was a bit ironic that the week that both little man and I were sick was concluded by a weekend spent healthy and solo. Time spent away from each other is chicken soup for both of our souls.

What does a single late-twenty-something do with “free time”?

Hell if I know!

I started by meeting some friends for a pontoon ride on a local lake. Pure bliss. The sun beating down on the water, good company, and cold beverages were medicine for my soul. Sure, I had EVERY INTENTION of being productive at home….but to be able to get up and go, without making sure others have used the bathroom, have Blanket, or are in need of a nap, I digress.

I couldn’t resist traipsing around town, checking out a clothing store that is hell to bring a toddler to. Finding some AMAZING deals. Spontaneously spending my free Saturday night with a great friend from High School whom I don’t get to see often enough. Laughing. Having a few (more) adult beverages. Dancing to live music. Sleeping, uninterrupted.

My weekend was filled with a million simple things most single child-free people take for granted. It was blissful. It was calm. It was perfect….However, my heart prevailed and I was damn happy when life returned to me and little man. We might not live life to the beat of a single person’s drum, but I honestly do love the beat we live by.

Life is good.

There was a thick, rancid smell as I opened my front door. It was the first time the door had been cracked since early Friday morning, and the fuzzy strawberries and stinky bowl of pasta were strong reminders that I didn't have time to clean up before rushing up north to enjoy the long weekend.

Growing up, we'd spend a lot of time 3.5 north of the cities. It was (and still is) my uncle's cabin. It's the place where I learned how to drive a boat, bait a hook, remove a fish from my line, play tag in the woods, and enjoy everything nature had to offer.

This past weekend, I was able to share my Uncle's cabin with little man. It was his first time fishing. His first canoe ride. Countless hours were spent hitting a plastic ball off of a tee, chasing around butterflies with a net, and soaking up heat from our campfire. Words truly cannot express how thankful I am that I was able to afford him those experiences. I look forward to our next cabin excursion...the three and a half hour drive each way is worth every minute.

Breaking Monotony

I feel as if my life is in a bit of a groundhogs day slump. Monday through Friday, I wake up, get myself dressed, get little man up and on track to get dressed, apply makeup and attempt to make my hair presentable, continue to beg little man to get dressed, threaten little man that I'm going to leave without him if he doesn't get dressed, plead for little man to get dressed, race out the door to work, spend time at work conquering one task after another (yes, I'm a rockstar), race to pick little man up from daycare, quickly brainstorm a dinner idea, follow through with said dinner idea (have I bored you to sleep yet?!?!), bicker with little man about bed time, then proceed to melt into the couch in a pathetic attempt at unwinding and clearing my brain.

Does that "schedule" sound as gross to you as it does to me?

The catch-22 is I love my life, the company I work for, where I live, and my son. Love, love, love. I'm fortunate that I love all of these things...but I still feel like I'm stuck in a boring monotonous rut. I need to break free, switch things up a little...preferably with things that are low-no cost.

My geeked out garden has been a great distraction...Gardening is solitary. I'm a social bug, and recharge by communicating with other people.

Any suggestions?

I'm tempted to try and take a random half day, grab a cup of coffee out in the sun, mentally debug my head, and possibly tackle some much needed and long overdue laundry. Maybe that will free up some of my funkiness (?)

Times, they are a changin'

I think back to the days of my early twenties. Life felt forever, permanent. My friends, my activities, what I did and didn't do. I felt like I was in a groove...some of my groove was great, and some was not so great...but it was a groove, and it was mine.

I firmly believe change is a foreign word to a young 20-something. It's a word that you only associate with clothing or your cell phone.

When I was 20, I felt like I was resistant to change. I felt as though my friends, career, school, and life in general wouldn't change because I didn't want it to.

Little did I know.

Change has been a main theme in my life for as long as I can remember, even when I didn't want to admit it.

• I've changed apartments
• I've changed friends
• Friends have changed me
• I've changed jobs
• Jobs have changed me
• I've changed. Period.

Reflecting on how much my life has changed has opened my eyes to how much life for others around me has changed. New jobs, houses, marital status', friends, family additions...you name it.

The same things people laughed at five years ago could be the same things you scoff at today. It doesn't make those things right or wrong...it's just a change in perspective. You can call it "growing up", but I chose to call it just a change....

Some personal changes I've gone through?

• Moving, although I've been living in the same spot for over four years now.
• Having a child - one of the biggest "tip my world upside down" changes I've ever experienced...and also one of the best things that could've ever happened to me.
• Changing jobs - stressful but extremely worth it in the end.
• Altering my social life to fit all of the above.

For me, some change has been exciting. Some change has been scary. Some change has been down right tough. To this day, and even at this very moment, I have to remind myself that change isn't bad. It's inevitable....and some change can be absolutely great.

The Single Parent...Part II

As cliche as life feels, hindsight really is 20/20.

As the years pass me by, and I'm afforded the opportunity to look back on my life choices, it's amazing how much perspective I've gained.

I've been trying to wrap my mind around this single parent thing for a while...specifically, how I could understand non-single parents views of single parents in the dating world.

The other morning, while driving into work listening to the radio, a local station hosted a man-panel. They asked the panel what they felt was a dating/relationship deal breaker, and presented the men with different scenarios....one of which was dating a single mom.

One man on the panel said something that caught me off guard. He said that if the woman acknowledged that they had been in a previous relationship that didn't work, put the child/children first, and were a great mom, it wouldn't be a deal breaker.

The light bulb went off in my head.

See, all of these years (read: four and counting) I've always approached my single parent life as being undeserving because I was irresponsible and wound up pregnant by an abusive, drug addicted man. I thought I was damaged, and that my baggage was far too much for any man to want to date me. I never gave myself an ounce of credit...even when people tried telling me I was a good mom, I'd smile and say thank you..but I never believed it. How could I be a good mom when I don't have a positive man in my son's life?

Ya know what? I AM a good mom. I love my child, and I am making the absolute best with what life has thrown my way. I'm responsible, kind, caring, loving, funny, silly, sweet, and can cook....the total package, really.

The only other reason I've shied away from announcing my son to the world was to protect him. I've feared (and still fear) attracting a man that would be harmful for my son...but from now on I'm going to trust my mom-gut. My intuition to protect my little man is strong...period, the end.

Thanks for all of your single parent input. I know there's still a lot for me to learn about being a single parent, and about other peoples' perspective, but I truly appreciate all of you who've shared your insight with me. It's helped me through some interesting mental battles, and I don't know if I could've gotten there without you.

And to all of you mother's out there (single or not)....stretch out and give yourselves a pat on the back..you deserve it.

Hi, I'm Stacy....

...But today, you can call me Martha flippin Stewart.

Why, you ask?

Because this chick has planted herself her very first vegetable garden. #boom.

Growing up in the city, my mom would occassionally till some land in our backyard, and plant various vegetables. I loved it. She did all of the work, and all I had to do was go outside and pick a tomato here or a cucumber there if I was hungry. Talk about the life!

Since moving out, I've become familiar with apartment life. Window boxes, gardens, having immediate outdoor access from my dwelling...these were things I was fine living without, because that's the way life is for someone in an apartment (for the most part).

In the past year, there has been buzz around my apartment complex surrounding the start-up of a community garden. While I've never participated in such a thing, I was very intrigued (especially if the cost was FREE*).

This past Saturday, the buzz was turned into a reality. The complex tilled up a 30ft x 50ft section of land, purchased chicken wire fencing, and away we went. Close to 16 people will be participating in the garden. The fence has been placed, and the plots have been sectioned off. I managed to snag plot #7, (in honor of Joe Mauer, duh)....and on the very first day I planted three rows of lettuce (all different varieties), one scattered row of carrots which I'm sure will be a disaster, four rows of onions both sweet and savory, sugar snap peas, green beans, and even managed to sow some marigold seeds close to the fence to deter pesky rabbits.

So far, this has been an exciting adventure. Honestly, I'm not expecting ANYTHING that grows to be edible...but it sure would be fun if it was!

In a few weeks, it will be warm enough for me to plant a couple of tomato bushes, eggplant, jalapenos, and green peppers. I think I'll have an awesomely well rounded patch of veggies at my disposal come June and July...I couldn't be more excited!

*Things in life are never free...although I've only had to invest about $30 for supplies and seeds...I'd say I'm doing pretty well.

Whoa uh ohhhh...oh oh ohhh oh ohhh*

"If you like it than you should've put a ring on it." I cannot seem to get that song out of my head this morning!!

Why?

I had a great weekend.

Aside from some AMAZING april weather, a bestie hosted a party over the weekend.

I went.
I laughed.
I jumped on a trampoline.
I danced.
I sang some Christina with friends old and new.
And did I mention I laughed?

It's amazing how therapeutic a good laugh can be.

*totally harnessing Beyonce. Werd.

Good Times, Great Oldies.

yeah yeah yeah...it's been a while since I've posted. Life is busy, beer is great, and people are crazy.

I HAVE to share this funny little tid bit. I just received an email that said:
"Thanks! That was fast!"

My IMMEDIATE internal response was "That's what she said."...then I busted out a true "laugh out loud".

If you can't laugh at yourself, who can you laugh at?

Hope all is well with all y'all!

I Did It.

Deep breath in.
Deep breath out.

I tend to be fairly spontaneous in life. Earlier this week, I decided it was time for me to high tail it back to school. I think I'm officially crazy.

The program I found would fit my schedule (read:online courses only).

I took the leap, submitted my application, and now it's just a waiting game. My biggest fear is getting turned down for financial aid (read: CRAPTASTIC credit).

I'm doing my best, and my best is all I can do. I'm happy. I'm excited. I'm scared as hell. I'm giddy.

The waiting game has begun...Keep your fingers crossed for me!!!! -K- Thnx.

Tid Bits

I've felt like my muse has temporarily left me...so how about list, eh?

- I'm still on my Kind Diet. I've slipped up here and there, consuming processed sugar, or even cheese on two occasions...which, to be honest, I felt as if I was being indulgent, but I also realized I didn't NEED to be eating it. All is going great! Here are my favorite dishes thus far...comment or message me if you'd like a more detailed description!

*Savory Cranberry Cous Cous
*Out of this world stir fried veggies including broccolini, carrots, asparagus and bean sprouts
*Killer Fried Rice
*Sweet Potato and Lentil Soup

- I'm still single, and I'm still alright with that. Sure, it's fun and exciting to explore new relationships...but I've got my hands full, and I've very glad I can acknowledge this.

- Anything you'd like to hear more about? Once my muse returns I'll be sure to post more regularly...Until then...keep being awesome!

Grounded.

I woke up this morning, and decided to treat myself and little man to breakfast (read: we had just returned home from vacation and I hadn't been to the store yet, and REFUSED to go to the store on an empty stomach).

Simultaneously, he was waking up and rubbing the craziness of the previous night from his eyes. Stretching out, waking up, he was preparing to go out into the world, free, happy, and content. He would be heading to the beach to bask in the sun. He would be going to work, followed by debauchery and good times.

When I have moments where I can escape from my reality and take a "vacation" I usually stop and think "wow, this is the life I want. This is the life for me" (read: I was a month from moving to NYC after a visit...but then I found out I was preggo).

Picking up and moving across the country has always felt glamorous to me. It is something I want to do, and might end up doing some day. Today, I guess I'll stay put. Looking at little man is reason enough for me to keep my roots grounded.

..if only I could get my thoughts of Him out of my head (read: hottie I exchanged a few words with while on vacay...). If only.

FINALLY...

Thanks for taking the time to read my previous post. It was pretty dark, but my motivation was stemmed from the thought/belief that by sharing what I have survived, maybe someone somewhere will hear my story and feel like they will survive through dark times too.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

So...I'm FINALLY FINALLY FINALLY on vacation. It only took a bit of insanity for me to book this trip...but I did it, and right now I'm in Florida, soaking up the chilly sun...hitting up MLB Spring Training and being as much of a Jersey Chaser as I can possibly be! MWHAHAHAHAHA.

Of course little man had to come down with his first case of Strep Throat on Monday...ya know, just to make things interesting. He's on meds, and the timing actually worked out since he was able to take antibiotics for a few days before we took off.

If I get a moment I'll try to post a vacation update...but if I forget, I'll be thinking of you for the next week!

Today

This morning didn't start out bad. Little man was agreeable when it came to getting ready to head out the door. Traffic felt light. In fact, I even had time to run through and get coffee. It was a great Monday.

Enter when I'm sitting at my desk and I manage to spill half of my coffee down the front of my shirt...My white shirt.

Eff.

I calmly got up, and proceeded to a sink where I scrubbed with some Ivory. And ya know what? The stain lifted. I almost starting singing...but I didn't. I just smiled, and returned to my desk...wet shirt and all.

I don't know when, why or where my perspective on life shifted....but it did. I feel less anxious, more serene, and not phased by nearly as much as I would have been five years ago. Life might spill coffee on the front of your shirt...but a bit of soapy water, and some calm temperament was the spoon that helped the medicine go down. No fuss. No stress. No worry.

Shifting Perspective

I think 2010 has planted a wild hair up my rear, seriously....because I feel different.
A good kind of different.
A refreshed kind of different.
A motivated kind of different.

Saturday nights, most 26 year olds are out on the town...doing something adventurous, or drinking mass quantities of alcohol with friends. Not this chick.

I rearranged my bedroom. I don't know why I felt compelled to shift my queen sized pillow topped mattress to a different wall, but I did.

Unlike a lot of people, I hadn't utilized the priceless storage underneath my bed that a bed can bring. Well, actually I HAD utilized it, but had pulled all of my "under the bed boxes" out and had never put them back about three months ago, I digress.

What did I encounter with the first shift of my box spring and bed frame? Things which I cannot name. Let's put it this way...it wasn't pretty. Honestly, I can't believe that I had been sleeping in my room in the condition it had been in (for such a long time).

The following morning I made a quick trip to the store, and picked up my first bed skirt. I went with a white ruffle skirt...but kind of wish I had gone with a straight one instead. MEH! I'm refused to lose sleep over it. In fact, with the bed shifting I also managed to flip my mattress...I felt like I was sleeping on a new bed, and wow did it feel great!!

Happy slumber to all!

Today for you. Tomorrow for ME!

The only catch about my title is tomorrow never comes.

I recently got together with a few friends of mind for a scrumptious dinner. Afterwards, we started reminiscing about how 2009 had treated us. All three of us are currently single. All three of us had numerous dating horror stories from 2009. It was at that moment we proclaimed that 2010 was going to be the year of the good men.

I don't even know if it's physically possible to dedicate an entire year to good men...so it got me thinking. What could I dedicate 2010 to? And then it hit me like a freight train...

I am going to dedicate 2010 to ME!

Yeah, yeah, yeah...it sounds selfish, I know. You see, I think it's high time I deserve some good, old fashioned quality "me" time. A treat here. Kicking my feet up there. Patting myself on the back here. Taking a vacation there.

In 26.5 years of life, I've never had the gall to proclaim I was actually going to take care of me. Look out for me. And be my own awesome self advocate. I don't know why...I've always thought about being a self advocate..but thinking and doing are two totally different things.

The Plan:
Dedicate 2010 to me.

The Action:
Start the year out right by scheduling a hair cut between today, and January 1st. (CHECK)

Go to see a movie in the Theater that isn't a kids movie. (CHECK...Little man is lined up to have a sleepover with his cousin AT his cousin's house the night of the first)

Go to the spa. (CHECK. I have an appointment for the morning of January 2nd)

Get in shape. (CHECK. I've started daily workouts...I'll post more on this in a week or two...)

Take one candle lit bubble bath a week...(CHECK. And let me tell you, what a GREAT way to unwind and clear your head!!)

Take a vacation. (CHECK. My trip is booked for the beginning of March...I'M SO EXCITED!!)

I think I'm off to a brilliant start. Did I mention that I'm roughly three laundry loads away from being COMPLETELY CAUGHT UP ON MY LAUNDRY TOO!?!?! Yup. 2010 is starting off on the right foot, so help me God!

Do you have any other suggestions for me? Are you making any resolutions or dedications for 2010?

Same and Different.

Physically I am in the same place today as I was a year ago..but something is different.

I still work for the same company today as I did a year ago, but again, something is different.

I still live in the same place today as I did a year ago, and (surprise) something is different.

I can't quite put my finger on it. I just have my "hasn't failed me yet" mom-gut feeling that something is different.

I'm pretty sure I was happy a year ago...but I feel VERY happy today.
I'm pretty sure I was in control of life a year ago...but I feel more in control today.

Maybe adding another year of life to my belt has left me with a tinge more confidence(?).

Maybe deciding to do things that make me happy instead of waiting for others to invite me is helping me feel refreshed(?).

I am still the same person today as I was last year...but I'm also different...and I'm very happy to admit that.

This Just In...

I DID IT!

What did I do?

I booked a VACATION! YAHOOOOOO!!!!!!

This might not seem like big news to most...but to me, I am soo excited.

I haven't been on a true and tried vacation since BEFORE I was preggo with little man.

This will be a vacation of firsts:
First trip on an airplane for little man.
First time I'll be renting a car.
First time I'll be footing two hotel rooms (we're staying inland for half the trip and on the beach the second half of the trip).
First time little man will see the ocean.
First adult "tropical" vacation that I've planned....And yes, I live in Minnesota and consider Fort Myers FL to be a tropical place.

I'm extremely tempted to print out all of the directions to places I want to go to and see this VERY MOMENT...but I will refrain from doing so for a few weeks. Maybe.

Oh, the places I'll go...

An awesome blogger friend posted a map of the states she has visited. It was a pretty full map....mine, on the other hand, is QUITE empty!

States I've Visited:


create your own personalized map of the USA
or write about it on the open travel guide

I've pretty much stuck to the midwest, only traveling out of the midwest a handful of times (mostly by plane).

I think I want to take a road trip next summer. I don't know where I'll go, and I'll definitely be bringing little man with...but I know I'm going to go somewhere!! Any suggestions?

Also, for you more seasoned travelers....How much time should I take off of work, and approximately how much money should I have saved? As you can tell, I'm completely clueless!! Any parents out there who would know of a great road trip destination with a four year old?

Ideally, I'll plan the trip around another company holiday so I won't have to use ALL of my vacay days...