Some days are great, others are not...but no matter what twists and turns I encounter, you can be sure I'm going to write about it!

Wednesday, May 7, 2008

Stuck in a Rut

I am cursed with "The Girl Next Door" syndrome. I really wish I could embrace this...but I just can't. I am the female buddy, much like the neighbor girl from when you were growing up. The girl who was always seen as just a friend, never more, and rarely less. I don't know how or why I have fallen into this category, but it is where I reside...and I want out. I am sick of just being a friend...I want to rekindle my flirty spark. I want to resonate an attractive personality that screams "Let's be MORE than just friends." This is easier said than done...especially since I am clueless.
Navy received every personable gene you could possible imagine in my family. He is the type of person who you could stick in a room full of strangers, and within ten minutes every person would walk out of the room knowing who Navy was, and absolutely love him.
My softball team is a perfect example of how likable Navy is. The second Navy arrived home, I immediately thought it would be awesome if he would come and play softball with me. I gambled that the team would embrace him as a newcomer, especially since Navy was only in town for a few weeks...He has fit in like he has been on this team from day one. In a way, his social abilities remind me SLIGHTLY of my own prior to having little man. I was extremely carefree, and loved to go out and have a great time. The one large factor that sets us apart is his charisma. You can tell that people enjoy talking with him, and that people genuinely enjoy his company. I wish I was liked by that.
Lately, I have also felt like I have turned into a bitchy, cynical grump. I could sit here and type out endless excuses, but the truth is, I need to drop my anal-ness. I need to figure out a way to shed every ounce of negativity that is hiding inside my body. I don't know how I am going to go about doing this, but I know for certain that it needs to be done.

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