Mullets and Pay it Forwards!!!

The people watching in Minnesota can be exquisite. The best locations for watching all sorts of silly folk come out of the woodwork are: The Mall of America, The Minnesota State Fair, and the Como Zoo. I'm almost certain Como attracts the professionally cut mullets and unnecessary spandex because of the fact that it's free.
This past weekend, the PSIL (pseudo sister in law) and I decided to take the kids to Como. Our reasons were simple: It was free, the kids LOVE animals, and it was a heck of a lot more entertaining to walk around the zoo than sit at home and break up never ending fights between little man and Bop(my niece). Before we left, PSIL received a phone call from a lady she refers to as Grandma (note: she is not related to Grandma. Rather, this lady was her neighbor's mother when PSIL was little. Not that it matters, but Grandma is about 68-ish). Grandma wanted to take Bop to the zoo..and instead of telling PSIL telling her we already had plans, she invited Grandma & Co. to join us. Did I mention that I am totally PMS-ing right now?
For about forty five minutes PSIL, myself and the kids walked around the zoo. It was enjoyable. I was managing to keep myself collected while the crowds of people swarmed. Then PSIL got the call. Grandma & Co. had arrived at the zoo.
Now, I'm not SUPER shallow. I try my best not to be judgemental. Let me just say for the record there was a TON of EXTREMELY inappropriate spandex involved with Grandma & Co. They were the people I would normally catch out in public and think to myself "seriously, what were they thinking!"
My mood spontaneously shifted from "I'm surviving the zoo" to "Get me the hell out of here!"
Needless to say, I might politely decline another trip out with Grandma & Co. PMS or not...it was still too much for me to handle...and now, I've just received a one way ticket to hell, courtesy of my horrible thoughts!
I'm not sure if you've ever heard of a blog Pay it Forward...but I have reluctantly decided to participate (especially since I intend on entering EVERY contest possible because I am a whore for free stuff!!). Here's how you're going to play my "contest".
First: leave a comment about a time you've noticed someone completely inappropriate in public. If that's too much to handle, just leave a comment saying hi.
Second: the contest ends on Friday, July 4th at noon my time (central time). I will use a random number generator to pick the winner....a package of surprises will be mailed out.
FIY: if you DO win you need to post and participate in a pay it forward contest of your own!!! Yeah, that's right bizzo's...it's time to Pay it Forward...just like that annoying lovely little movie with that kid from the Sixth Sense :)

Music of The Heart.

For fifth and sixth grade, I was enrolled in a school where they focused heavily on music and fine arts. It was AWESOME for me, but not so awesome for my education. Each day, we would have a half hour of gym and a half hour of music. The program seems so ironic looking back...We BARELY focused on the essentials of education, but I would say with utmost certainty that in those two years I came across some of the best teachers in the business. All were very well educated, had very efficient ways of holding our attention, and weren't afraid to kick back and have a great time! The main music teacher held his phd in music (why he decided to use it to teach a bunch of bratty 11 and 12 year olds is BEYOND me!). He would laboriously teach notes, rhythm, history about the great composers of the past and the classic good ole' recorder. He was fun for the most part, especially once you could see past his flamboyant bitchy side. Come spring time, he would take a two month vacation, and his fill in was his EXACT opposite. I'll refer to him as Mr. E or ME. ME presented himself with a very quiet demeanor. He also had long hair and gave off hippy vibes. He was everyones' favorite. He would have us ditch the boring rhythm curriculum, and break out the acoustic guitars. Class time would be spent with everyone sitting in a circle, holding their own guitar and strumming along to some of his original songs and singing at the top of our lungs. It was probably some of the best times I've ever spent in a formal classroom setting. He was truly an aspiring musician, and had even released a cd (which I purchased and to this day still get his songs stuck in my head without having heard them for years!!). About a year or so after I had moved onto middle school, I learned that ME's two year old daughter had been diagnosed with a brain tumor, and had to undergo a fairly intensive surgery. She survived, and healed. I really don't know if I would have been able to summon the amount of courage him and his wife did to support their little princess.
I know this is a fairly long tangent..and it has taken me a while to get to the point, but bear with me. Life and the way we present ourselves is a funny thing sometimes. Even through the eyes of a fifth grader, I could see the strength and feel the determination to make the best of things through the quiet presence of ME. I still look up to his warm hearted nature.
I won't be able to teach little man to play the guitar, but I certainly hope he experiences some great teachers while growing up. Teachers play such an influential role in a child's life...most of which isn't really recognized or whole-heartedly appreciated until much later in life.
So a big (random) thanks to Mr. E and all of the great teachers I had while growing up :)
What was your favorite classroom moment growing up? Did you have an inspirational teacher that you'll always remember?

My Son...

is totally a pillow talker!! I shouldn't know this...and feel a little silly for making this public information...So I'll give you the backstory.
Last night, after cleaning the daily dirt and grime off of little man, I told him to hop up on mama's bed to get his jambo's on (synonym of jambo's: pajama's...I abbreviate almost everything!! hehe). I got him dressed, and proceeded to play the "don't lay on MAMA'S pillow...HEY! THAT'S MY PILLOW!!!" game with him. He responded with his usual giggle and then laid down on mama's pillow with a huge silly grin on his face (it was pretty cute!). Then he looked up at me and patted the pillow saying "lay down mama." How could I resist? The second my head hit the pillow it started...the pillow talk. "I dream cows mama" (translation: I'm going to dream about cows tonight.") "aaaaaaaaand fishies. aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand hooowsies. aaaaaaaand cows mama! cows!" He kept going on and on and on (you get the picture!). When he caught me laying with my eyes closed, he gave my shoulder a gentle shake and a "wake UP mama!" I told him it was time to go to sleep...and his response was "I cuddle mama." I allowed him to snuggle in closesly. The second he was snuggled in he let out a GIANT sigh. I couldn't help but start to giggle...and since he knew I thought his sigh was funny, he did it twice more. I don't know where he gets his silly cute pillow talking gene from..but it's good stuff.
So to all of you lady tot's out there...If you're looking for a silly, sweet pillow talker, my boy is the tot for YOU! And for those of you who aren't into the whole "pillow talking" thing, steer clear...with this little man, you're in for an earful when it comes time to go to sleep :)

Internet Dating

I am WAY too ADD to wait for more responses to my all request blog post hour...The two readers have spoken...Internet dating it is!!

I am still struggling with finding a good guy. My options are still creepy online dating sites limited to the Internet. What can I say, the bars aren't what they used to be..and I don't have the patience to 1)wait for my friends to attempt to set me up or 2)wait for my random knight in shining armor to come knock knock knocking on my door!!

The latest ewhatthehellwasithinking harmony "match" that decided he wanted to talk to me seemed too good to be true. He was tall, and my first reaction to the pics he had posted were brown chicken brown cow SCORE! After drooling browsing at his posted photos, I decided it was worth my time to read his bio. In just about every section of his online profile, he kept referring to his myspace page. "About Me: I love my family....(blah blah blah)...you should check out my myspace page at "abcdefg"." So...since dude OBVIOUSLY wanted ME to check out his myspace page, I figured HEY, WHY the HECK NOT?...I found a GREAT reason for the "NOT."

His page seemed hip...As if he had invested more than five minutes into writing down details of his interests in music, life, television, likes and dislikes..etc.
He had multiple photo slide shows of himself..and then I noticed there were NUMEROUS pictures of himself with a cute blond girl. At first I thought it was his sister...but after paroozing his "myspace page that I just HAD to look at" I came across this tidbit of information...Relationship Status: IN A RELATIONSHIP.

Call me crazy...but this dude has GOT to be kidding me. Who signs up and PAYS for an online dating site JUST to beg single desperately seeking to find mr. right girls to look at his ridiculous myspace page only to find out that DUDE IS IN A RELATIONSHIP!
I knew it was too good to be true! DAG-NABBIT!

**a HUGE shout out to Kate for providing me with the capability to use the strike out text**

Choose Your Ending!!!

I really cannot decide what to write about today. Instead of rambling like I do SOOO well, I want to poll my two readers to see what will tickle their fancy...
If you could be so kind as to leave a comment with the number you would rather read my rants about, I would be GREATLY appreciative. Spanx!

1) Mom Stuff - Feeling torn between my identity of a Single Mom, and a 25 yo single girl.

2) Toddler Stuff

3) "Grandparent" frustrations

4) None of the above - My sad and pathetic attempt to try and pull something with comedic undertones out of my rather large behind

5) Internet Dating

6) Corporate Life

I think that SHOULD be enough to choose from. OH! If anyone knows how to write text on blogger with a line through it and are willing to divulge this information to me I would be EXTREMELY pleased...especially if they divulge this info to me at the cost of FREE :) Hope you're having a happy hump day!!

20 Dates.

In the past two weeks, I have had two popular bloggers link to MY blog**...I was totally all like "WHOA!" I don't know what my obsession is with trying to gain the respect of other bloggers who are more eloquent with their words than me...But just know that it's there.
Today, I am making the saddest attempt to write about something we all know and love. Sex. This will go one of two ways...it will hook these new readers in, or it will shoo them away. Either way, it's what I feel like talking about today!
I have hit the largest sexual dryspell.of.my.life. Being a single mommy, and a full time employee really drains a lot of my energy. (sorry to those of you who are like "eww, gross" but face it, almost all of us are adults...mommies need loving too!). I'm trying to come up with ways to rejuvenate my flirting soul..but have come up empty. However, I don't think this drought is a bad thing (I'm just lying to myself right now, but go with me on this one...). For the longest time I have fantasized about finding "true love" and a man who not only respects me, but can laugh when life is funny and provide support when life gets tough. I know he's out there.
I have been toying with the idea of implementing a rule I once saw in a movie. It was a rule that entailed no sex for 20 dates. Yes, this may sound to some like I'm a nympho if I have to set this silly rule for myself...but I think there's more to my rule than just plain staving off the urge to have wild romp sessions with men who only want wild romp sessions in return. Geez...I hope this doesn't sound like I'm a "game player" because I am the furthest thing from. I just want to meet a man, and establish a healthy, fun, romantic relationship before we are both consumed by our wild romping monster urges.
There's just one catch...you can't make a 20 date rule if you aren't even dating in the first place. hehehe (darn I KNEW this sounded too good to be true!!)

**If you've been brought here from either of those two sites...leave a comment introducing yourself! If you're feeling very brave, I could always use some advice about the 20 date rule... I <3 new visitors, and I love meeting new peeps.

Let's Go Fly a Kite!

What a lovely weekend!
The weather was wonderful. I found myself doing things that I used to do when I was single. I feel like my soul was recharged. I am walking with a slight pep in my step.
I'll spare the boring details of every.single.day....but will fill you in on Saturday morning. Little man has started to respect mommy when she is sleeping. I don't think I was coerced out of bed until almost 8. Feeling guilty for being in bed for so long, I little man made a delicious breakfast of cold cereal, quickly got the both of us dressed, and headed for the park with a kite in tote. He had received a kite for his birthday back in February...but this was our first opportunity to fly it. It was a pretty neat little kite. If I wasn't SUPER LAZY I would try and look it up and link to it...but it's me we're talking about! Instead of the kite having dowels that supported it, you BLEW IT UP! What a novel idea!
Did I mention that his kite was none other than SPIDER MAN! He was grinning ear to ear.
Once we got to the open field, I let out some string and immediately started running around like a goon to get his spider man kite in the air. I figured if I could get it up a ways then all he would have to do is hold the string and life would be good....I had another thing coming. I ran around that darn field for almost a half hour straight and I couldn't get the thing to stay up in the air. Little man became bored with my antics, and ran to the other side of the field where he could "run the bases". I threw in the towel, and asked little man if he wanted to try and hold the string. The second I gave him that string, I kid you not, the kite went about 75ft straight up in the air. I should have just given him the darn thing in the first place...but what do I know?! Moments like last Saturday make me wish I could afford a video camera. He is so little, but so intelligent. He figured out how to run and hold the string up to keep the kite flying. I'll try to post pictures sometime this week. The pics really help grasp how little he is in comparison to the world. It was a fun sight to bear witness to :)
For someone so little he really does know how to make my heart feel huge :)

GotchYa!

I don't know or understand WHY I am consumed with trying to attain a large amount of readers. I think it is a sick obsession, and I might even need to seek professional help! lol
So...I've been toying with the idea of posting commonly googled names (Jamie Lynn Spears) randomly through a post to see if my sick scheme actually works! Mwhahaha!
I could actualy write about these celebreties and their troubles...take Amy Winehouse for instance...But I won't. Mainly because I know nothing about her other than what I read from celebrity blogs like Perez Hilton and The Superficial.
I think this brilliant idea might just bring me a few laughs as well. What kind of audience does Scott Baio really attract? ...and How did Diane Keaton become one of the top searches on Yahoo?
On a different note... I went and saw Iron Man last night. I was pleasantly surprised..I went into the movie with ZERO expectations. The buzz was accurate. I am tempted to write about Downy Jr's preformance..but I won't. I hate hearing about how great someone was in a movie...only to find out my excitement is a huge let down because it falls short of what my high expectations were.
Have a great weekend friends, family, and random people who were accidentally douped by my silly name dropping!

TSA

Toddler Story Ahead.
I cannot believe how much humor I find in spending time with Little Man. It's amazing to see him develop little quirks, and enormous expressions.
We were driving to softball last night, and were stuck in monstrous traffic downtown. We were only about a mile away from the field, but the traffic was at a standstill (and the mile took us almost a half hour to travel)...ANYWAYS. Along the road they are building some new condo's, and there were construction lift thingies parked next to the building...The second LM spotted them he exclaimed "Look MAMA!" to which I giggled and said, yes honey, those are lifts. "ifs mama?"...yes, honey, lifts (I try and repeat the correct pronounciations to him as much as possible...)
The next intersection we crossed, you could view smoke stacks of some sort, and this wierd metal arch thing that was next to the river. The second he saw it he literally yelled "OH MY GOSH! OH MY GOSH MAMA, LOOK!" It was so precious! His excitement over something so mundane to the average person made me realize a few things. Life is short..enjoy it while ya can..and do your best not to take things for granted...These are some pretty deep thoughts conveyed by such a little guy, but by golly it's exactly what he was reminding me through his extremely silly toddler ways :-)
On the flip side of things. When we were leaving last night, he also managed to summon his "I'm frustrated with life" expression when he didn't get his way. It is the funniest, grumpiest expression I have ever seen. I'll have to try and capture it on camera!

This Roller Coaster....

...Is on a one-way trip to the top of the hill.
I am exhausted with feelings of morose dicombobulation. I have decided to make a pledge to myself that the frustrating chapter of my life which has consumed me this past month is over, and it is now time for me to start a new story. A story of contentment. A story of happiness and joy. Today is the start of a new day, and I couldn't be more excited.
...My mood is always helped when I discover one of my favorite news journalists has linked to my site. Life.Is.Good!
Thanks DeRusha...you still Rule :)

Maybe I should get over myself and start writing country songs...

Eloquence Mixed With Copious Amounts of Frustrations...

I thought for an EXTREMELY brief moment about taking down my cursing post. I just can't. So instead, I will follow it up with a bit of writing in a more sophisticated manor, about my exact same feelings (ya know...to show all two of you who actually read this that yes, I have the slightest amount of depth).
I am so perturbed with my current situation that shall not be named. I am exhausted, frustrated, and in disgust. I have done a bit of research to aide me in resolving my issues, but have not been successful in defeating that which shall not be named. I know there are cases of that which not be named affecting individuals who have done nothing wrong. I strongly feel I am one of those individuals.
I feel so alone in this struggle. I feel like I cannot talk to anyone about this. I feel like they don't care, nor do they understand the frustrations this brings to my household (of me + little man) and the hurt that still lingers from this past month. I also know that by writing this, I will cause more trouble for myself...but I have nowhere else to turn...and nobody else to vent my frustrations to.
This is so draining...

Sailor language and a $hitload of venting ahead...

I really really really hate censoring myself...so as not to be completely selfish and in a sad and pathetic attempt to not offend anyone I will do my best to keep this rant short and sweet. I am done! The thing I am done with needs not be named, just know that it is driving me to the fucking loony bin in a god damned hand basket. All I want to do is cry, but I am so done at this point I don't have a single tear to shed. Yes, I sound like a drama queen, so what. Give me my god damn crown for all of the shit I have been through this past month. I don't know how I am going to get through this. All I can say right now is where is the light at the end of this tunnel because I sure as hell am sick of this!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHAT IN THE HELL DO I HAVE TO DO TO OVERCOME THIS NIGHTMARE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I wish I felt better, but I don't. Fuck me sideways and call me bob...not really...but maybe.

Good Times, Great People

The night started out like almost every social function I have attended for the past three years...I was flying solo, carpooling with Jane and LP. We were driving to Willikat's wedding reception. It was a short car ride, and before I knew it, we were socializing in an amazing backyard adorned with huge paper flowers, tiki torches and a lovely lit tent. It was a beautiful evening, and the company was lovely. I was with my "people" (so to speak..). Before long, we were all sitting around a table, laughing and talking about silly things. Our laughter bellowed through the party. We were "that table." We were the fun table...and I felt honored to be surrounded by such great people.
Willikat looked BEAUTIFUL. She was gleaming from ear to ear while she made her rounds through the party. She was aware that we were the loud table, and if she hadn't felt so obligated to be appropriate and talk with the other guests she would have been right there with us! :)
The sun slowly set, and the music started to play. She had a dance floor arranged under the tent, which was a great idea considering how bi-polar the weather was. A beautiful blue skied sunset quickly turned into a siren's blaring tornado warning. The party found itself in the garage, and into the house shortly after.
I will blame my friend Bacardi for this next act....I was told by Willikat that she hadn't even gotten to dance with her father. Bacardi and I found that unacceptable! Even though it was a bit cooler out than earlier in the evening, "we" coaxed the boys into re-setting up the stereo equipment. They did an AWESOME job. In less than ten minutes they had the lights on, and music flowing...and with the help of a few people all of the candles were lit, and the ambiance of romance returned. She got her dance with her father, and the party was rolling. Like we were going to let a silly little tornado warning get in the way of celebrating! PSH!
Did I mention that I managed to turn my shoulders into a marble hodge podge of white and orange? Yeah, I'm cool like that! I had started peeling from a sunburn on friday, and thought it would be a BRILLIANT idea to buy spray fake tan to try and cover up my peeling shoulders...little did I know that when my skin continued to peel, it would reveal white, non-spray tan skin. My tanning blunders are quite hilarious. I kept thinking to myself "Way to go Miz, you're the scary orange shoulder lady!! All of the children here will probably go to sleep crying, 'But mommy, I saw the scary orange shoulder lady!'" (and I wonder WHY I'm single!!)
Lucky for me, LP was able to drive Jane and myself home. We weren't five minutes away from the house and a DEER jumped out in front of us. LP was a superstar and not only saved my car, but also saved Jane and I. It was quite exciting :) Lucky for him, we repaid him by singing horrendous 90's ballads at the top of our lungs...hehehe (thank you again bacardi, I really owe you for last night! lol).
The night ended for me like most nights spent out with "my people." I was returning home solo, but with a big grin on my face from the great memories that will last a lifetime!

To Potty or Not To Potty...

I am encountering yet another potty training dilemma. I don't know if I am ready to dedicate my time to helping little man learn to use the potty just yet. I am afraid that my efforts would be a wasted attempt because he might not be "ready" yet. I really don't enjoy spending money on diapers, but I am going to end up forking out the same amount of money on laundry if I put him in big boy pants right now...I just don't know what to do!
Matters are not being helped with his daycare either. Two weeks ago, when he had his potty miracle, I asked school if they would start taking him to the potty with the other kids. Since then, there have only been about three days where he regularly went to the potty with the other kids (that I know of) because they have only been recording ONE time that he has "tried" per day. UGH! I feel guilty enough that I work full time, and now I am adding frustration to that mix because all I want is to be on the same page with his teachers at daycare...is that too much to ask?
I asked his morning teacher about how he was doing, and she ended up giving me her polite two cents. She is the mother of five, so I take what she says fairly seriously...She told me that it is doable to get him potty trained, but you really need to be willing to put forth a lot of time and patience (which I have very little of both) and be ready to do a LOT of laundry...
I really don't want him to regress and view the potty as another power struggle...so should I just put off my hopes and dreams of no diapers for another month? My indecisiveness is not helped by the fact that most mornings, little man looks up at me and says "I go potty mama, I do it" just before I am about to change his stinky diaper. I know he KIND OF understands the concept of the toilet...I just don't know if either of us are ready to travel that road yet.
My favorite parental role models are the tv show Jon and Kate + 8 (yes, I'm pathetic, oh well!!)...Kate's motto is to stay home for a straight week while initially potty training...Yeah, if I had camera guys and a tv show paying me big bucks, then I would do that too...but I'm a broke bizzo, and staying home for a week for the sole purposes of potty training are out of the question!
I leave you with this:
To Potty or not to potty...can you solve my dilemma??

State of Indifference.

I feel as if I am in a state of indifference lately. I don't know what my problem is, if I even have one. I have been super moody, a bit opinionated, and feeling like an old spinster. I'm going to be blunt...maybe I need to get laid. Yes, I said it. But then I wonder...would having a crazy romp session really calm my random mood swings?
I really hate to think of my self as irritable, but lately that is all I have been..and it's driving me crazy! I know, in my heart, that it's me, and not my surroundings. The only consistent thoughts running through my head as of late have been "And ya wonder why I'm single!" (said with an extreme amount of sarcasm...).
I find myself wanting to slug people for their idiocy, or tell people off for making comments that I wouldn't normally be offended by. I am also finding myself wanting some alone time. I don't really feel like answering my phone. I don't really feel like making small talk, or putting effort into people other than myself and little man ...I've never felt so selfish as I currently feel right now. Really...I am not normally like this.
I think I can over-think reasons about why I am in this funk for days upon days. I could blame this on my stressful relationship with my mom. I could say this is from the stressful lack-of relationship I have with my dad. This could stem from my non-existent dating life. Financial reasons could be to blame. Frustrations with daycare for multiple reasons is also a thought that crosses my mind.
I just have a lot on my plate right now and have had a lot on my plate for oh..I don't know, THREE YEARS! Again, normally I keep myself mostly put together, but I just feel like I've lost a bit of motivation to stay politically correct. Maybe proclaiming my selfishness through here is a way to make me feel less guilty about my actions...Realistically, I think I am subtly trying to tell everyone that I'm sorry...and I am desperately hoping that I haven't totally destroyed the way people view me. Hmph!

You Are Beautiful

For the past week or so, my drive to pick up little man has taken on a musical theme. I recently discovered an MP3 CD that had over 100 songs on it. I had made the CD about four years ago, when I discovered my car CD player had an MP3 playing compatibility. This particular CD was titled All Songs Playlist. The first song on the CD is Fifty Cents "Patiently Waiting"...so by "All Songs" I guess I meant "All getting ready for a night out songs."
While flipping through the tracks to find one grabs my attention, I stumbled on Christina Aguilera's "You Are Beautiful." I immediately broke out in laughter. Have you seen the movie Mean Girls? If not, then you won't understand where the humor from this song comes from, and you must immediately watch it or else you will die a slow and painful death (just kidding about the slow and painful part, but really, watch it with no expectations...seriously). For those of you who know what I'm talking about, let's take a moment to relish in the talent show scene. Ahhh, the dude who wasn't important enough for me to remember his actual name...standing on stage, staring at the crowd and whispering "Don't look at me"...good times! It was a beautifully played out hilarious scene. I must go home now and watch it. :)

Blunders and Baa's

Two days before my cousin was set to be married, I thought it would be a GREAT idea to go tanning. I did not have the patience to sunbathe outside, so I took the "cheating route" and wound up at a tanning salon. My skin is extremely fair, and I've had issues with tanning beds in the past. All I remember is the bed I was given that day seemed so darned cramped...and I could not, for the life of me, get their silly little radio to work. (ugh!) After putzing with the radio I decided to just lay in silence. I was relaxed and soaking up the harmful rays. Before I knew it, the bulbs shut off, and my session was over. When I sat up to get dressed I had an Oh $hit! moment. Laying on the tanning bed I had JUST spent ten minutes in was a towel...the towel was unfortunately laying in an area that ended up covering PART of my BACK! It left a large white square, surrounded by bright pink skin.
Instead of changing my dress choice, I just went with it. It was a spaghetti strapped red number. I was the center of a lot of giggles...I thought it was hilarious, even though it happened to me and not someone else. I will never forget that wedding...it was filled with many good times :) Have you ever committed an "ultra" blooper? (I couldn't resist the pun! hehehe)

++++++++++++++++++++++

I really enjoy hearing different accents. Some of my favorite to listen to are southern accents and British accents. This morning I received a call from someone in the south. Her accent was thick. The phone conversation was short, but left me laughing...When she went to say "goodbye" all I heard was "baa" (ya know, like what a sheep says!). I was silent because it took me a minute to register she had actually said good bye, and was not impersonating the woolly covered animal. Misinterpreting accents is always a pleasant and silly way to start your day! Have you ever done a double take due to someone's thick accent?

Condemned

The phone rings, and the look of panic consumes her face. "The kids might be taken away, and the house will be condemned if we can't get it cleaned by tomorrow..I need your help, please!" are the words that resonate through the earpiece. If she stays home, guilt will overwhelm her. If she goes to help, guilt will overwhelm her. She decides to go, and make a last ditch effort to rid her sisters house of the filth that has consumed the lives of her nieces and nephew.
The house has a distinct odor. Stale, rotted, hints of mold and god only knows what riddled here and there. The stairway carpet gunked up with sticky this, and crumbs of that. The wood floors covered with a thick sludge that can only be removed by scraping it off by hand. The walls covered in a film of crayons, marker, and random beverages. Mouse droppings form a border around every perimeter of what was once a home...
Toys, trash, clothes, scraps of food, empty soda cans, dishes, paper. Everywhere.
The looks on the children's faces show no signs of dysfunction. This was their normalcy. They were upset that their belongings were being tossed into the large dumpster...they just didn't understand. The children were upset because they were being forced to throw their belongings away. They didn't understand what was wrong with the stuck-on gunky-crud covering each and every single belonging. The looks of confusion streaming form their faces pained her heart even further. She could also tell that the parents were upset over the matter, but not in the same way that she was upset.
She still doesn't know if these children would be better off in foster care. She is uncertain that her sister can maintain a safe and healthy environment for this family. She knows she has done everything in her power to help...and at the same time, she embraces her helplessness. All she can do now is expect the worse, but hope for the best.

Update

We lost tonight. I didn't get hurt...I guess my crazy head was getting the best of me earlier today.
Little man totally attempted to snag himself a daddy. It was pretty cute. A guy from another team came to the fields, and little man couldn't keep his eyes off of him. He actually walked up to this guy and was flirting with him in his little toddler way. I couldn't help but giggle inside..he was trying to hook mama up..and he's got great taste too! The guy was very nice to little man, and made some small talk with me too. Maybe we'll talk more over the summer. I guess only time will tell :)

Hmmm

Tonight is softball...The only reason why I am posting this is the last time I was this excited to take the field, I ended up with a severely sprained ankle. Either this post is going to be self fulfilling prophecy, I'll be able to say "I TOLD YOU SO" to myself, or nothing will happen. Let's hope (for my sake) that nothing happens. Happy Wednesday everybody!!

So Sweet.

Nothing puts a smile on a girls face quite like the day when she buys herself some beautiful star gazing lilies for her desk. The aroma is breathtaking, and the flowers are gorgeous. It's a happy day, even though the sun refuses to shine!

Baseball and Shoes

Yesterday my mind was filled with a plethora of emotion filled thoughts and feelings. Some fantastic, and some not so much. I went from being content with life, to feeling like a giant asshole, to feeling frustrated, to honored, to excited....etc (I think you get the picture). All of my emotions were the result of external forces. I am not blaming anyone or anything, just stating a fact that yes, although I have control of my actions, sometimes my thoughts and feelings have a mind of their own..and yesterday was one of those days where they just couldn't decide if they wanted to be happy about life, or really upset about it.
One awesome thing that happened yesterday was receiving free tickets to the twins game. I took the free tickets as an opportunity to take little man to his first 2008season game. He had been to a couple of games the previous two seasons, and had been very well behaved. Turns out, he's a lot of fun at baseball games! He sat and stared, and by the sixth inning he started cheering! (which I am convinced his cheering is the reason the twins started getting hits..hehehe).
I immediately invited Mark to the game. He reluctantly accepted my invite. I was given four tickets, so I tried calling a few other friends who I thought might be interested, but since it was so last-minute they already had evening plans lined up. It actually turned out perfect that it was just the three of us. Little man had the option of sitting in his own seat, and we had an extra seat to house the backpack that I, the overly prepared mom, just HAD to bring. It was the first time in a while I didn't feel packed into the dome like a sardine. If I could afford to buy two extra seats when I go to the games, believe me, I WOULD! :)
Another awesome thing that happened yesterday was receiving free running shoes. They came from a brokerage firm who was trying to win the hearts of our VP's in the office over...I was asked by their firm to find out the shoe sizes of the VP's (secretively) and they also said I should send them my size. I was expecting something silly like a pair of slippers...but running shoes? I was stoked! I wish I could have taped the conversation I had with one of the VP's wives..."Hi, I work with your husband..I know this is going to sound silly, but can you tell me his shoe size and not tell him I called?"
I really do think there is some version of Karma in the world...and after the past week I have had, it was darn-tootin time things started turning around for me...the combination of a virtually free evening, and new shoes was JUST the trick!

...Did I mention I spotted my favorite WCCO reporter Jason DeRusha at the dome. Turns out, he was at the game MC'ing for WWB. Small world, eh?

Times, they have-a-changed.

I went out with Jane, Me, and a few other girls this past weekend to see SATC. Me summed up the night fabulously...
When we were out on the town, it got me thinking. SATC was first introduced in my life when I was living in a house with FIVE other girls. The house was very compact. There were two bedrooms upstairs, two on the main level, and two in the basement. We thought it would be a fabulous idea to all live together, but it proved to be one of the most difficult years of my life. I guess I never realized how much I need my alone time, and how horrible other women can be towards one another. The only great thing that came out of a year of hell was SATC. I still remember the night of the season finale. I had only JUST started watching the series, so I had a lot to catch up on...the finale was an episode that brought the six roomies together, if only for an hour. We gathered in one of the basement bedrooms, mixed up homemade cosmos, laughed at some parts, and cried at others. There aren't too many times I will say this about that time period of my life, but it really was a fun night!
Flash forward to this past Saturday. Me threw out the fantastic idea to get us all together for an impromptu girls night. We met, ate some fabulous food, enjoyed some fabulous conversation, sipped a cosmo or two, watched the movie together, laughed, and also cried together. We were six women out to have a great time...and the difference between this experience, and the one of four years ago was enormous. The women I shared my SATC experience with last Saturday are strong, supportive women who I know will be around for me when the next SATC movie comes out. They are women I look up to, and I am honored to call each of them a friend.

Update

Number of plastic tom-cat traps set: 6
Number of sticky traps: 3
Number of Mr. BoJangles caught: 0

I SHAKE MY FIST AT YOU MR. BOJANGLES!!!!

Weekend Warrior

Operation Mr. BoJangles is still in full effect. Friday, when I got home from an impromptu dinner, I ended up crashing extremely early due to massive exhaustion and high stress levels. It was much needed sleep, and I was so happy I didn't fight going to sleep so early.
Saturday morning I was woken up by little man rummaging through some of the toiletries pulled from my BoJangles Dropping filled linen cabinet. When I discovered him, he looked at me and said "Potty Mama." I humored him, and set him on the pot. We haven't started to tackle the potty training completely, but I'm not going to deny him a sit on the pot. I wasn't really paying attention to him, when all of the sudden I heard a trickle....HE ACTUALLY WENT POTTY IN THE TOILET! I was besides myself, shedding a few tears of joy. He had the biggest grin on his face and was also very happy. Although it was only 7am, I couldn't wait to have little man personally tell grandma and grandpa. He did so. Grandma answered the phone still drunk...but said congrats and proceeded to pass back out. Grandpa also said congrats, but the conversation was cut a bit short. While I was translating little mans words for Grandpa, little man was running around the apartment naked. He really loves to be naked, and I didn't have the energy to chase him down. He started on a full-out sprint down the hallway towards me, when PLOP! Mid-spring a giant BoJangles shaped turd flew out of his little bum and landed on the carpet. It was the funniest thing I have ever seen. I never knew you could poo like that mid stride!!

++++++++++++++++

On the BoJangles Front: After the potty miracle, I decided to take little man shopping. We purchased new clothes for both of us, a new bay-bume (vacuum) for the droppings, and most importantly, Big Boy Unders and Pull-Ups. I know it's a bit preemptive for the BBU's, but I just couldn't resist. These tiny unders are absolutely adorable! I'm hoping they are all he's using by the end of summer...Keep your fingers crossed for us!!!
I started doing a major cleaning in the afternoon. The only reason why I stopped was so I could attend a fun girls night out, which I will tell you about later.
Cleaning was disgusting. Mark came over and helped. Honestly, he was my savior of the weekend. He would not allow me to pay him, even if I offered...nor would he accept any sort of gift from me. I truly hope what goes around comes around for him..because he definitely deserves to be canonized after all of his help this past weekend.
Sunday I woke up a bit tired. By 11 I was in full cleaning mode. I was so overwhelmed with the droppings that I allowed myself to take a short nap. After re-charging my batteries I was good to go. I separated laundry, started laundry, and continued cleaning out and organizing my closets. I am pretty sure I cleaned about 100+ square feet of closet space over the weekend. I was feeling pretty good about life on Sunday, until early afternoon. Little man and I were sitting down to a late lunch, when I noticed something on top of my refrigerator.....You guessed it, Mr. BoJangles had left more treats for me. That was my breaking moment. I couldn't contemplate having enough strength or motivation to get through, so I broke down. I started crying very hard, and unfortunately, little man saw every tear drop. I felt even worse for crying in front of him, but once I opened up the flood gates, there was no going back. He looked at me with a concerning brow and said "mama cry?..mama crabby?" I told him I was frustrated with life..there's no sense lying to him right? I told him I was also frustrated with Grandma and Grandpa. He started playing with his food, and I snapped at him...not one of my proudest moments, I'll admit. He looked at me, and stuck his bottom lip out a mile...then he dramatically threw his head down on the table into his arms. Very dramatic, and very cute at the same time. I felt absolutely.horrible. I quickly reassured him that mommy wasn't mad. He shouted from his arms "No!" Then I calmed the fires by telling him mommy was frustrated with Grandma, and Grandpa..but that I loved him (little-man) sooo much. The second miracle of the weekend occurred, because he somehow managed to understand me. I felt my heart start to beat again, and made a panicked phone call to Mark. When he heard how upset I was, he came over without hesitating. He stayed for about eight hours, helping me go through the rest of my belongings. He was a key component to abolishing Mr. BoJangles. Hopefully, the traps I purchased over the weekend will also help me with this matter.
I am almost entirely convinced these unwanted tenants came to my apartment via the generous couches I received from a friend....but it really doesn't matter WHERE they came from..just as long as I can keep them out for good! I don't think I have ever been more organized in my life. I have almost all of my belongings in a plastic container of some sort. I threw away about six large garbage bags of belongings that were weighing me down. As Mark put it before he left last night "Well, we definitely left our carbon footprint this weekend!"