This past weekend, the PSIL (pseudo sister in law) and I decided to take the kids to Como. Our reasons were simple: It was free, the kids LOVE animals, and it was a heck of a lot more entertaining to walk around the zoo than sit at home and break up never ending fights between little man and Bop(my niece). Before we left, PSIL received a phone call from a lady she refers to as Grandma (note: she is not related to Grandma. Rather, this lady was her neighbor's mother when PSIL was little. Not that it matters, but Grandma is about 68-ish). Grandma wanted to take Bop to the zoo..and instead of telling PSIL telling her we already had plans, she invited Grandma & Co. to join us. Did I mention that I am totally PMS-ing right now?
For about forty five minutes PSIL, myself and the kids walked around the zoo. It was enjoyable. I was managing to keep myself collected while the crowds of people swarmed. Then PSIL got the call. Grandma & Co. had arrived at the zoo.
Now, I'm not SUPER shallow. I try my best not to be judgemental. Let me just say for the record there was a TON of EXTREMELY inappropriate spandex involved with Grandma & Co. They were the people I would normally catch out in public and think to myself "seriously, what were they thinking!"
My mood spontaneously shifted from "I'm surviving the zoo" to "Get me the hell out of here!"
Needless to say, I might politely decline another trip out with Grandma & Co. PMS or not...it was still too much for me to handle...and now, I've just received a one way ticket to hell, courtesy of my horrible thoughts!
I'm not sure if you've ever heard of a blog Pay it Forward...but I have reluctantly decided to participate (especially since I intend on entering EVERY contest possible because I am a whore for free stuff!!). Here's how you're going to play my "contest".
First: leave a comment about a time you've noticed someone completely inappropriate in public. If that's too much to handle, just leave a comment saying hi.
Second: the contest ends on Friday, July 4th at noon my time (central time). I will use a random number generator to pick the winner....a package of surprises will be mailed out.
FIY: if you DO win you need to post and participate in a pay it forward contest of your own!!! Yeah, that's right bizzo's...it's time to Pay it Forward...just like that
Posts
I can't think of anything this early in the morning, so I'll just say Hi!
ReplyDeletelike that time the old guy and his young hot girlfriend were macking out at the mall? I still have nightmares.
ReplyDeleteThis story comes from my husband.
ReplyDeleteHe was watching a security camera feed at the hotel he worked at. An old man was standing in the lobby waiting for the elevators, when Hubs notices him shaking something out of his pant leg. It turns out the gentleman crapped his pantaloons and shook the poops out onto the floor. Someone then walked by with a rolling suitcase and rolled right over said crap.
Yesterday at the beach. Middle aged, very fit woman with a YELLOW THONG bathing suit. It looked like a banana in her behind. Blech!
ReplyDeleteMen driving around shirtless. 'Nuff said!
ReplyDeleteOkay, parkingathome's poop story has made me laugh so hard it drove all other thoughts out of my head.
ReplyDeleteSo, HI! That's all I got. :)
Totally inappropriate man was in a bar we frequented in Univeristy. You could watch him move through the crowd soley by the reactions of the girls he groped as he moved through. It was so crowded, people were wall to wall and he would walk around with his hand at crotch level getting a free feel. Girls heads would whip around looking for the guy and you could follow him just by that. Luckily the bouncers clued in and turfed the sicko.
ReplyDeleteSaw a guy lying on his back with his eyes closed at the beach right at the point where the waves would lap at your feet if you were walking. He had a serious hard-on going.
ReplyDeletenot exactly the same thing, but leaving a derby party a few years ago we saw two people so drunk they couldn't step over a string that was about a foot off the ground. it was so funny my entire family was on the floor in stiches just laughing at them.
ReplyDeleteMimi: Hi!..Thanks for stopping by!
ReplyDeleteMoo: Eww!!!
Parkingathome: Oh.My.Gah
Mzell: Hilarious!
Saly: Werd.
Daycare Girl: Hi!! and ME TOO!
Lorraine T.: Creepy!!
Fiona Pickelbottom: Um...can we say awkward?!
Sara: Been there, done that..I mean...Ummm...Er ;)
During my most recent water park visit, I was horrified to see how many people had their hands down the backs of each other's swimsuits. Ew!
ReplyDeleteApparently the kid a few pews in front of me at church had an itch he had to scratch. On his bum. Several times. Like he didn't realize he was in the middle of church and everyone behind him had to watch him scratch and pick.
ReplyDeleteI live in a college town. It looks like several girls are paying their way through college by sharing their assets on stages at night. They apparently like to wear their work clothes everywhere.
ReplyDeleteI like free stuff.
I love the Fair. In fact, I'm making every effort to get there this year just for the people watching. And the cookies from Sweet Martha's Cookie Jar!
ReplyDeleteMy favorite inappropriate moment was the 2 year old I saw in black leather pants and a leopard print tank top. Wow.
Last time I was at TJ Maxx I saw a woman in head to toe leopard print. A leopard print fur coat, leggings, and hat. Yikers.
ReplyDeleteYou mean like when my four year old peed in church yesterday? Right there on the carpet? But he didn't really mean to do that, it was just an accident.
ReplyDeleteI also love the very large busted women who wear bikinis. God bless them.
Women in pants that give them muffin tops and expose their thongs. It's just too much for me. EVERY TIME!
ReplyDeleteAt a park in Austin, we saw a guy walking a bike and wearing nothing but a silver lame thong. That's it. I wanted to gouge out my eye.
ReplyDeleteHellllooooo!
ReplyDeleteHow about the time I saw a girl going down on a guy in a club. GET A ROOM!
Ummm this lady walked up to me at a bar I was singing in. We were in the ladies room. She said "Yanno, I wanted to tell you all night.. You have REALLY nice BEWBS".... Ran... Away... QUICKLY.
ReplyDeleteLast year at the State Fair, Matt and I were watching the lumberjack show. An old old old woman wandered up to the front, near the stage with the chainsaws and other miscellaneous dangerous objects. She took the microphone away from the announcer and said something incoherent. It sounded like she told the lumberjacks to be careful.
ReplyDeleteShe was escorted back to her seat and the show continued. She interrupted the show 2 more times, and was finally escorted away from the show. Crazy lady.
Sorry, I've got nothing right now.
ReplyDeleteHI!
I've got nothing. Maybe I purposely blocked it all out. But hi!
ReplyDeleteSome of these are great stories! I think the most inappropriate things I see are usually up at the mall. Like these little teenyboppers in shorts so short their a$$ cheeks were hanging out. Don't you think you would want that covered???
ReplyDeleteKelsey: Yeah, that's not cool!
ReplyDeleteHangel: WOW.
Nicole: Some peoples' children!
Michelle: What was her mother thinking!
Barb: Hilarious!
Paige: I'm speechless...
Beth: Have you been stalking me? (jk!)
Erica: Did you get his number? ;)
Danielle-lee: GROSS!
NotAMeanGirlk: lol
Beth: My money says they hired her to spice the show up a b it ;)
Janice: HI!
Missy: Hola!
Becky & Ryan: Most definitely!!
I once had the misfortune of seeing a very leathery tan (and somewhat overweight)older man in a gold lamé thong on Waikiki beach....
ReplyDeleteI try not to remember, but my treacherous mind tends to regurgitate the memory into my consciousness at least once a year.... shudder
Hah! Isn't the world full of over-abundant inappropriateness? DANG!
ReplyDeleteSo this is all I've got:
I once saw an old guy at a gas station who totally crapped his pants everywhere and went about his business of pumping his gas and climbed back into his car. Eewww!
Also, how about teenagers who still walk around with pacifiers in their mouths?
I love people watching so I'm going to have to pick just one inappropriate in public story...
ReplyDeleteOH MAH GAH! YES! Driving through no-where Texas, we stopped at a Walmart for pillows (sleeping in the car, neck cramps, whining children... you get the picture) at about 1AM. We see an old woman with fuzzy old lady chin hair. She has more hair on her chin than her head. She's riding one of those handicapped carts because her size probably made walking painful. And she is wearing a terry cloth tube top. As rolled past us I look back to see that the woman has the most phenomenal BACK CLEAVAGE! *shudders*
Sorry, that's usually my kids behaving inappropriately in public. I try to curb that, but I'm not that good of a mom. Besides, when you have to pee, you have to...
ReplyDelete...nevermind.
Hi from Rochester!
A MINNESOTAN! WHEE!
ReplyDeleteI'm trying to think of inappropriate things I've SEEN, but I keep thinking of inappropriate things I've DONE.
I once let one of the bars in college hang my BRA ON THE WALL. True story.
Um. Why am I over here being all CRAZY? Sorry. I'm not actually. Crazy.
I'd better win now! DAMN!
Like just yesterday walking out of the Target a little teen wearing what I think was a bath towel and that's it. Why is everybody nekkid? It's hot out, but there are PEOPLE around.
ReplyDeleteYesterday I was walking home and was bypassed two midgets, riding tandem on a scooter-style wheelchair. I felt like maybe I was in a movie?
ReplyDeleteEvery time I go anywhere, I see young teenagers in grossly inappropriate chlothing. I can't stand the stupid "sexy" slogans on tee shirts these days. At least, I can't stand them on minors.
ReplyDeleteEmblita: Shuddering with ya!
ReplyDeleteLaura: Oh Mah Gah!
SP: Maybe she should be informed of the Bro for Backs...or a good pair-o-spanx!
Heather: Same with my little guy!
Tessie: We've ALL been there :)
EMama: Again....some peoples' kids!!
Miss Grace: A sight to be seen!!
Bethiclaus: kids these days!
I'm gonna have to say that I see people being inappropriate in public all the time. Hate it.
ReplyDeleteuh, 35 comments/ i am pissed you have exceeded my top score. pay it forward! ;)
ReplyDeleteanytime i have seen butt floss on a chick. not coolio. :)
ReplyDeleteAbout 45% of my workday is inappropriate people. Today this girl was totally SLOBBERING in her boyfriend's ear as they were wandering through the store. Gross.
ReplyDeletemy mother in law is inappropriate every time she is in public... she's a loud talker. and an exaggerater
ReplyDeleteI recently saw a woman with a giant hole in the middle of the ass of her shorts.
ReplyDeleteAnd she had on NO UNDERWEAR.
Personally, I was glad to see it. FREE BLOG POST! Thanks holey lady!
How about the time I saw a girl giving a blow job at an outdoor concert? No amount of alcohol prepared me for that train wreck!
ReplyDeletehow about the girl we saw last summer riding the back of her boyfriend?'s motorcycle wearing a tank top and thong?
ReplyDeleteI don't think I can top any of these, so HI :)
ReplyDeleteThe woman shopping for baby clothes for her teenage daughter who did NOT have on a bra(and did she ever NEED one!) and also had possibly never met a bathtub in her entire life. It was AWFUL.
ReplyDeleteGack.
I always laugh when I see people driving and picking their noses. Old men are normally the culprits!
ReplyDeleteCamel-toe...bad news that happens often.
ReplyDeleteI cannot think of a good story right now. Um, hi!
ReplyDeletegreat suggestions!
ReplyDeletenothing more to add the list.
hi!
I cant think and have had two PIF of my own so looking to have another! I also found a good blog!
ReplyDeleteUm...one of my employees wears tight knit pants everyday. She has a front butt.
ReplyDeleteParents who come in for parent/teacher conferences (I'm a teacher in real life) with a mohawk or in their pajamas. I mean how hard is it to slip on jeans and a t-shirt??
ReplyDeleteThanks for the contest!
There was a little bit of action at the beach yesterday near the bathrooms...
ReplyDeleteHey there - entering your contest, and loving the blog!
ReplyDeletehi :)
ReplyDeleteI think the beach has a lot of inappropriate dressers. Women wearing bikinis that shouldn't be, men wearing speedos that shouldn't be {ever}
ReplyDeleteI work at a high school, so lets just say that I see inappropriate dress every day. My particular fave was the FCUK shirt with the girl in the thong bent over, head between her legs. On a freshman. NIIIIICE.
ReplyDeleteWe posted about mullets this week too!
ReplyDeleteHmmm, inappropriate in public? Where to start? Just this morning 2 people north of 40, she in a business suit, were making out in my coffee shop as I was trying to enjoy my latte. Affair? I don't know but they really needed to get a room as I was a little scared as to what they were going to do next.
Goodness, where to start? A man sunning in public park in an extremely skimpy neon orange thong. I think that will do.
ReplyDeleteMaybe not inappropriate, but funny anyway. My husband just told me that a friend of his snapped a picture of a guy in a restaurant. He was at Subway at lunch time, at a table, with a laptop...and a laser printer!
ReplyDeletedid i miss it?
ReplyDelete