I feel as if I am in a state of indifference lately. I don't know what my problem is, if I even have one. I have been super moody, a bit opinionated, and feeling like an old spinster. I'm going to be blunt...maybe I need to get laid. Yes, I said it. But then I wonder...would having a crazy romp session really calm my random mood swings?
I really hate to think of my self as irritable, but lately that is all I have been..and it's driving me crazy! I know, in my heart, that it's me, and not my surroundings. The only consistent thoughts running through my head as of late have been "And ya wonder why I'm single!" (said with an extreme amount of sarcasm...).
I find myself wanting to slug people for their idiocy, or tell people off for making comments that I wouldn't normally be offended by. I am also finding myself wanting some alone time. I don't really feel like answering my phone. I don't really feel like making small talk, or putting effort into people other than myself and little man ...I've never felt so selfish as I currently feel right now. Really...I am not normally like this.
I think I can over-think reasons about why I am in this funk for days upon days. I could blame this on my stressful relationship with my mom. I could say this is from the stressful lack-of relationship I have with my dad. This could stem from my non-existent dating life. Financial reasons could be to blame. Frustrations with daycare for multiple reasons is also a thought that crosses my mind.
I just have a lot on my plate right now and have had a lot on my plate for oh..I don't know, THREE YEARS! Again, normally I keep myself mostly put together, but I just feel like I've lost a bit of motivation to stay politically correct. Maybe proclaiming my selfishness through here is a way to make me feel less guilty about my actions...Realistically, I think I am subtly trying to tell everyone that I'm sorry...and I am desperately hoping that I haven't totally destroyed the way people view me. Hmph!
4 days ago