Some days are great, others are not...but no matter what twists and turns I encounter, you can be sure I'm going to write about it!

Sunday, August 17, 2008

A lot of inappropriately placed Quotations to ponder

A week and a half ago I had a wild hair up my rear to post a personal ad on a free website. I posted a simple poem about myself, no picture, and somehow wound up with about a dozen responses to ween through.

There was one response that stuck out. It was simple, sweet, and included a picture of a good looking guy that I was very intrigued to get to know.

We spoke for about a week exchanging emails. I had wanted to meet for lunch. We also found out we worked very close to one another (in fact, on the same block, just in different buildings). We set a date, but the day before he sent me an email asking if we could meet for dinner instead. I was apprehensive to agree, only because dinner was so much more of a time commitment, but I accepted his request, and found myself rushing through traffic on a Friday evening, traveling about twenty miles to meet at a restaurant with food rumored to be delicious.

The weather was beautiful. I had on a great outfit, my hair looked cute, things seemed to be going right...but something felt off in the pit of my "mom-gut" stomach. I tried to convince myself it was just nerves, but in my heart I knew it was much more than that.

The plan was to meet at the restaurant around 6:30/6:45ish. I was expecting to arrive at the restaurant at 6:45 on the nose, so I gave him a call to let him know my ETA. There was no answer.

I shrugged it off thinking no biggie. He could be in his car with the music up and the windows down. He could already be AT the restaurant and might not have heard his phone due to the noise levels...the excuses running through my head were endless.
I pulled into the parking lot, and after turning off my car took a very deep breath and told myself "here goes nothing!" I walked in with butterflies of anxiety, and told the hostess I was meeting someone. She did not say there was someone waiting, but suggested I take a walk around. I did a quick sweep of the bar, and the sit-down tables, but saw nobody matching the face of the person I had been exchanging emails with.

I went into extreme slight panic mode and started dialing my cellphone frantically. First, I tried Him. No.Answer. Then I called up one of my girlfriends...she gave me the classic "just give him ten minutes, I'm sure he's just stuck in traffic or something." Ten minutes went by...still no Him. The pit that had been present in my stomach was growing larger by the second. The reality of what I was experiencing was finally setting in.

I was being stood up.

After waiting a half hour, I slowly walked to my car. It wasn't until I was opening my car door that I started to break down in tears. I couldn't initially pinpoint where the tears were coming from...but they were flowing like none other.

At first, I was (for lack of a better word) mortified. I started mentally blaming myself for this mishap (which was totally stupid and unwarranted..but whatevs).

Then, I became extremely offended and frustrated. He knew I was a single mom. He knew I was lining up a babysitter...which I would have to PAY. Not only that, but by asking to meet me AFTER work instead of for lunch DURING work, he KNEW he was taking time away from my son. (cough::DOUCHE::cough).

I know I am better off finding out a person I could have potentially dated is a skeez before letting him into my life...but I just can't get over the inconsiderable nature of standing someone up. He has a cell phone. He has internet access. He knows how to text, call or email. Is a simple "I'm not going to make it" or "I am having second thoughts" too much for a girl like me to ask for?

...More to come with how my night ended (I think this post is long enough!)