Scars

I have the butterflies today..and I can’t really figure out why. Well..I have some ideas, but I’ve been unable to pin point the exact cause of my giddiness. I think I’ve begun to see my life in a different light. I do deserve love. I do deserve to be happy, with a man in my life. I am not going to count myself out of the running. I’ve got my chin up, and a big silly grin on my face. It IS possible for me.
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The Crush that apparently broke me:

I was in high school, and I think it was my sophomore year. He was tall, a grade ahead of me, and very good looking. His smile melted me. I was experiences a true school-girl crush.
The funny thing about me in high school was I didn’t crush on boys very often. I was very athletic, so much so that I always buried myself in athletics, leaving little to no time for crushing on boys.
My friends and I decided to go to the hockey game. If memory serves me correct, the winner of the game went to the state tournament (which is a pretty big deal in Minnesota). The band was there, the stands at the Coliseum were packed with students and parents.
About ten rows ahead of me, there he was. Sitting with his upperclassmen friends. Laughing. Having a great time. And there I was, sitting with my friends. Pretending to watch the game, but constantly staring at him hoping for a bit of reciprocation.
In between periods I glanced to find him, and he was nowhere to be found. I sat silently, wondering where he had disappeared off to…and then I felt a tap on my shoulder.
“You really need to learn how to stare.”
It was him.
I was completely embarrassed. Mortified. Hurt. Frustrated. You name whatever negative feeling that comes to mind and I was probably feeling it.
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Yes, we all experience moments in high school that are awkward, uncomfortable, or even hurt. Looking back, I can see why a circumstance like this would leave me with a deep scar. The funny thing is, I never realized it until a complete stranger said a few key words that helped me look back on my life and reevaluate what I deserve, and what I need to let go of.

I still have my doubts about clairvoyance, but I am so thankful I took the plunge and allowed myself to experience an Extreme Love Makeover.

Today, I am happy.