BEEEP! BEEEP! We Interrupt this Program....

I swear...If I get ONE MORE TELEPHONE call from the Star Tribune asking if I want to subscribe to the newspaper we ALREADY RECEIVE I just might flip out.

We now return you to your regularly scheduled program of daydreaming, including rainbows and butterflies.

The Odds.

A while back, I had a conversation with a fellow blogger about the odds of winning the powerball. She insisted the odds were one...and of COURSE I told her she was wrong.

So, who was actually right? We both were. While she was arguing the odds being one, my argument was that the odds were more than just one, for example one in (insert whatever HUGE number here).

Whenever the Powerball gets really really high (over 120 mil.) my office does a five dollar buy-in. I normally don't participate because:
1. I'm cheap.
2. I usually don't have the money to participate (even though it's only five dollars)
3. I feel like it's kind of a waste of five dollars.

Me being the scholarly person that I am, googled the odds of winning the powerball to feel better about myself....here's the site I found: http://www.durangobill.com/PowerballOdds.html

The site says the odds of one number winning are one in blah blah blah for the dollar amount you're trying to win. It's really interesting (at least to the geek inside of me).

Warning: The powerball explanation site contains a LOT of math, and a LOT of numbers...the last sentence in each section explains what the numbers mean...and if I can figure it out, I'm sure you can too!

The chances that I'll win the current Powerball is Zero. After all, you have to buy a ticket to win.*

*I'm sure someone I know will ACTUALLY win since I'm adamantly NOT buying a ticket...if so, please don't forget the little people (aka ME!).

Oh, the places I'll go...

An awesome blogger friend posted a map of the states she has visited. It was a pretty full map....mine, on the other hand, is QUITE empty!

States I've Visited:


create your own personalized map of the USA
or write about it on the open travel guide

I've pretty much stuck to the midwest, only traveling out of the midwest a handful of times (mostly by plane).

I think I want to take a road trip next summer. I don't know where I'll go, and I'll definitely be bringing little man with...but I know I'm going to go somewhere!! Any suggestions?

Also, for you more seasoned travelers....How much time should I take off of work, and approximately how much money should I have saved? As you can tell, I'm completely clueless!! Any parents out there who would know of a great road trip destination with a four year old?

Ideally, I'll plan the trip around another company holiday so I won't have to use ALL of my vacay days...

Keep The Faith

A while back, I posted a letter (that I'm too lazy to link to) about a walk I'm participating in. The walk is for the National Alliance for Mental Illness (NAMI). The walk is tomorrow.
As of yesterday morning, I had raised zero funds...which is all fine and dandy. You aren't REQUIRED to raise funds, but my gut (and heart) felt very disappointed in myself. If I could afford to contribute monetarily, I probably wouldn't be doing the walk (who am I kidding, of COURSE I'd be doing the walk, I digress).
I turned to people who I rarely turn to for support...My family.
I put together a short email pleading for help, but telling them I understood that money is tight so as not to make them feel obligated. I hoped to get a response, but my faith was running on empty.

A little about the cause...
I grew up in Roseville, MN. It is nestled between Saint Paul and Minneapolis (AKA The Twin Cities)..Roseville is the closest thing to a metropolis without being a metropolis. It has a small town feel while maintaining a large population, great shopping, entertainment and restaurants. In a nutshell, Roseville is awesome.
Aaron lived less than a half mile from my home. We were never great friends, but we definitely knew each other. He was the boy every single girl had a crush on, with his blonde hair, blue eyes, and boyish (amazing) good looks. He was a prankster, and very intelligent. He was Aaron.
Last spring, Aaron lost his battle with Schizophrenia, a battle he had been fighting for a few years.
His death was the second death from my neighborhood in less than a year, as another Roseville native had passed away suddenly from acute onset leukemia seven months prior.
The mother of a Roseville native, and close friends of both families who had lost their sons, organized a team to walk in Aaron's name. She found a corporate sponsor, MelloSmello, to match ALL donations made to Team Johnson. She has kept us pumped up about the cause, and for this I am thankful.

Where is this long winded story going?

After I sent the email begging for support from my family, I heard nothing. Hours went by, and not even a phone call from a family member....nada.

At 10pm I received an email. It was from the NAMI website...I had received a donation.

$100.00 from an anonymous donor that left a message saying "Keep the faith". I broke down in tears.

I'll be honest, I know who the anonymous donor is, and I will allow the donor to remain anonymous...but the words left in that message will ALWAYS resonate in my heart.

So I sit here, on this gloomy Friday morning...Keeping the faith.

I know EVERYONE has a cause they love to support. Everyone is hit up at an alarming rate, being asked for donations to this fundraiser or that charity.

I don't expect anyone else to contribute, but if you have an extra dollar, it would really be appreciated. It's a safe, credible site. A little really does go a long way.

Happy Friday,
Keep the faith.

Step Two

I don't know where the surge of motivation came from, and frankly, I don't really care. What motivation, you ask? Well, the motivation to be a self advocate. To stop letting others make me feel bad. To put a stop to drama so I can expend energy on the positive things in my life.

I did a brash thing over the weekend. I unfriended every single family member on facebook (GASP! YOU DID WHAT?!). Yeah, you read that right. It's not that I really wanted to, but it's something that I had to do, and I am SO glad I took the plunge.

Why did I HAVE to unfriend my family members? Simple. I'm working very hard on reestablishing a healthy relationship with my mom...and I found out (over the weekend) that certain family members and friends of the family had taken facebook status updates out of context, and questioned my mom about them...making her feel like ALL I WANT TO DO IS GET WASTED AND PARTY...yeah...my family sucks at life rocks.

The drama is to be expected. If the drama in my family was put on a scale of 1 to 10, 10 being WHOA DRAMA, and 1 being no drama...my family would be rated at 1 Million. No lie.

I'm sure there will be buzz as to why I'm not friends with them anymore...maybe I'll actually get some phone calls for a change, but I can't be too sure, nor will I lose sleep over it.

Maybe I'm being dramatic myself...but I strongly believe that by weeding out people that are causing my life strife, I can focus my energies elsewhere...and that makes me really excited!

How do you feel about having your family on facebook? Would you (or have you) ever unfriended anyone?

Thank You, Primetime

"If you don't walk out the door by the time I count to three, you're going to bed IMMEDIATELY when we get home."

"GO TO YOUR ROOM!"

"One more time and you will get a time-out!"

"STOP CRYING, SERIOUSLY!"

"I swear, you're going to make me freak out"

...Not the best or most mature dialogue to come out of my mouth. I'm tellin ya, toddlers are PRO'S at driving adults to the brink. I love little man dearly, but WOW has be been testing me lately.

"BUT I WANT TO BRING TWO HATS MOM! WAAAAAAHHHHHH"

"I DON'T WANT TO EAT THE CHICKEN IN THE PASTA"

"I DON'T WANT SAUCE ON MY NOODLES...WAAAHHHHHH"

"YOU'RE NOT MY BEST FRIEND!"

and the latest....

"YOU'RE NOT INVITED TO MY SLEEPOVER!"

Yeah...imagine hearing the previous...over and over and over again. Recollecting the dialogue between the two of us is enough to make ME cringe!!

Rewind to yesterday. We (little man and I) had experienced a challenging morning with one another, surrounding the amount of hats he could bring to daycare. I had told him he was going to bed immediately when daycare was over, and that he was frustrating me a LOT. I swear, the car ride to his daycare in the morning left me with a dozen unwanted grey hairs.

When I picked him up that afternoon, he had been good all day. A good report is enough to change my heart....hence, I did not send him to bed when we got home. However, when he threw a fit about WANTING CEREAL FOR DINNER I sent him to his room. I really don't like whining...so yeah.

While he was settling down in his room, I whipped up some homemade pizza (thanks to betty crocker just add water pizza crust, and other misc. ingredients I had laying around)...I baked the pie, and we enjoyed a delicious meal. When the meal was finished, we spent some time together, then I put him to bed (only to be met with resistance as is the norm these days..."JUST THESE MANY MORE MINUTES, MOM!").

After he settled in, I found myself channel surfing...only to come across Primetime. And what was the topic on "Primetime: The Outsiders"? Disciplining Children.

They followed three families; All raising a child/children alone. A single mom, a single father and a single grandmother (I was a bit annoyed that they didn't follow a fourth family that has both parents in the household, but whatevs). The single mom followed the time-out model....and she took it to an extreme that I could see myself doing, but I know I'm not THAT bad.

In a nutshell, I found it ironic that the day I had a blowout with my son was the same day this program aired. I'm glad I caught it, too....it taught me new techniques (although some I was already practicing) like ignoring the negative behavior, and praising the positive behavior (even if you're frustrated...).

A happy toddler equals a happy Mama...and vice versa!!

Here's a Turn

I remember back to my childhood (it was a good one, in case you were wondering). I was afforded many riches; going to parks, participating in any sport I asked to play, regular family meals (until I reached middle-school, when meal time turned into fend for yourself..I digress)...You get the point.

My basic needs were met. I laughed with friends and family alike. Life was simple. Life was good.

Fast forward to high school, when my world crumbled before my eyes. My parents divorced due to my mothers' infidelity. My grades dropped. I lost self worth. I stopped laughing with my family...I basically stopped communicating with my family altogether.

The pain of watching my world collapse was part of a deep wound that never fully healed. Instead of confronting the issue I moved on, leaving the wound to fester. It would be brought up on many occasions in the years following, and was a stake driving myself and my mother further apart.

Little man came into the picture, and my mother told me she would be there to help. She was (initially) very supportive, and although she never stopped helping me, getting help from her entailed an enormous struggle on my end. Hours of begging, pleading and tears. It hasn't been fun.

Turning point:

My mom and I actually scheduled a time to meet, just the two of us, to talk about things. We went to a local restaurant, and enjoyed the patio together whilst sipping soda and sharing some appetizers. It took a while for us to talk about some of our major issues...but it was a great starting point. Hopefully we can heal some wounds from the past, and learn how to laugh together again.