ALERT!

This just in. The light-up pumpkin I bought as my one and only Halloween decoration has a Snaggle Tooth. Pictures soon to follow...

The Broken Record

I want to rewind to a time when I was taking a D.A.R.E class. What's the phrase they use again, oh yeah! "Just Say No To Drugs or Alcohol." Do you remember how they taught you to be a broken record? Repeating yourself over and over and over again....They "said" when the bad people with beer asked if you wanted one (ha, what a joke, right?) they would get annoyed if you kept repeating yourself by saying "no, I'm not interested" over and over again, and leave you alone to live your life in harmony sans drugs or alcohol.

What D.A.R.E failed to mention is they ripped off the "broken record" technique.

Who did they rip it off from, you ask? I'll tell you who they ripped it off from.

Toddlers.

I swear, little man has MASTERED this technique. "I want more, mommy. I want more, mommy. I want more, mommy. I want more, mommy. I want more, mommy." SER-I-OUS-LY! Yes, it's cute that he's actually talking...but COME.ON! Hanging out with a toddler for an evening is proof that the broken record works...but it's also proof that a broken record drives you to drink.

Maybe D.A.R.E. should've thought this technique through before using it as their master plan to keep kids away from drugs and alcohol.

I'm Too Excited To Sleep

I'm happy to report that for the first time in over three years I am actually REALLY EXCITED about Halloween! I've ALMOST completed my costume..I'll be sure to post pics at a later date and time. I have little man to thank for inspiring me this year. At the risk of giving away what I'm going to dress up as, the phrase "Mommy HAS to be a WITCH" repeated over and over and over again sparked my creative juices.

And as a bonus...
Grandma willingly agreed to letting little man spend the night! This means mama gets to go out (ooooh, aaahhhhh).

I have a fantastic feeling this halloween is going to be spooktacular!

Franks and Beans

I had a craving for Indian food yesterday. This always happens to me. About once every three months I am overwhelmed with the strongest urge to gorge my face in Indian cuisine. I succumbed to this urge, and found myself sitting at the local lunch buffet. I ventured up, and was pleased to see a new selection of food items.

I wish I could tell you what the food selections were, but I'm not an expert on this kind of thing. All I know is there was something green, something red, rice, naan (indian flat bread), and this amazing smoked bbq chicken. I piled the colored delicacies on top of my rice, took a piece of chicken and a few pieces of nan, then headed back to my solo table.

The red stuff was SOOOO SPICY, I couldn't handle it. I fought my feelings of food-waste guilt, and shoved the small pile to the side of my plate. Onto the green stuff. It was fine, nothing to write home about and was satisfying the craving that had overcome me. However, in the middle of eating I was suddenly extremely grossed out because I had NO IDEA what I was eating. It was really a horrible feeling. All of the sudden, BOOM, I was simultaneously full and grossed out.

My meal was done, and I left there thinking "Until we meet again in three months Indian buffet...until we meet again..."

Have you seen my Baseball?

I love baseball. Really. I do. Tonight, I tuned into game seven of the series between Tampa and Boston...just as the top of the ninth was starting. No outs, Tampa (the home team) was up 3-1. They needed three outs to become the true Cinderella story of the MLB. Did I mention that two formidable twins players were traded to Tampa to start out the season this year? I'm happy for the Rays. They whole completely deserve to be in the big show. They haven't been an extremely popular team in Tampa...I have a great feeling their ballpark will play host to a few less empty seats next year.

Even though the World Series doesn't include the Twins this year, it's still amazing to see the joy in the faces of all those guys. Yes, that's a tid-bit cheesy and sentimental, but really, in baseball, not a heck of a lot beats making it to the World Series.

GO RAYS!

Q & A

Just curious...

What constitutes a cool girl?

Dirty.

When reading a guest post today, it was brought to my attention that I should try and write something manly. I consider myself to be a fine mix of girly and a guys girl...oh, where to start.

I love to get dirty (as in actual dirt people...get your heads outta the clouds!). At softball, I prove this weekly during my post game "running of the bases" proceeded by "sliding" into home. It's a good time!

I can watch football with the best of 'em.

I almost always laugh at dirty jokes (not actual dirt people...come on, stay with me!)

When I'm really tired, I talk like a sailor. Really, it's quite amusing.

Beer is delicious. Nuff said.

Hmmm...what else am I missing? What else is construed as "man-talk"?

Zzz's

Sleep. It's definitely something I've taken for granted the past year since little man has been sleeping through the night. This week, to nobody's fault but my own, I've gone to bed past midnight two nights in a row. I think I'm losing my mind to the Overtired Monster!

You see, sleep and I have had a pretty solid relationship. We respect eachother. I respect it by normally going to bed at a decent time, and it respects me by recharging my battery for the next day. However, this week has been "challenging."

Tuesday, I spent my night frantically cleaning because Someone was coming over on Wednesday. Once I had my apartment under control, the clock had struck midnight. Last night, I had Someone over. To be quite frank, the time flew by and before we both knew it the clock had struck midnight.

Going on five hours of sleep never felt this exhausting! Maybe I'm just getting old.

The crazy thing is I can stay up late on the weekends...but I also don't have to focus for eight hours straight the next day.

Did I mention I talk aimlessly when I'm overtired? Fortunately Unfortunately, when I'm this tired, my language entails massive amounts of sailor vocab (which goes over really well with the VP's in the office).

Lovely.

It's official. Fall is here and is going to leave just as quick as it came. The colors in MN have peaked 100%. It's only a matter of minutes before all of the leaves are blown to the ground, covered in frost, then disappear under snow. That's right, I said the "s" word!

The vibrant colors of this time of year amaze me. The flaming oranges, reds and yellows are just about everywhere you turn. I think it's mother natures way of giving us color overload to prepare us for winter, (which is riddled with white, brown, and a yellow you avoid instead of gaze at...).

Once Halloween is over, the holidays are literally around the corner. One thing I am thankful for is having a white Christmas every year. There's something magical about the snow covered decorations that glow in the night. It makes me smile just thinking about it.

However, once Christmas is over...I'm ready for it to be warm out again. That's the only bummer of living in MN: Cold weather that stays about three months too long.

Storage Room B

I've got a case of the Mundanes (obviously, pun intended). (if you were born before 1985, you should know where my references are from...if you were born AFTER 1985, then too bad for you! haha)

Today, I was speaking with a couple of coworkers, and the topic of being single without kids vs having kids came up in conversation. One coworker stated that it's frustrating for her to hang out with Moms because all they do is talk about their children. Is this the whole-hearted truth? I don't think so. At least not for this mama.

I took the time to reflect upon myself and how I interact with my friends. I share stories with them about the abuses I suffer at the hands of little man. I share moments I feel they might find comical. Maybe I'm a mom in denial. I refuse to believe I'm one of "those moms." The kind where it's little man this, and little man that. I also make an effort to ask about how their life is going, discuss current events including politics and sports as well as listen if they have things going on they need to vent about.

When I write, I definitely include little man stories, and frustrations...but my blog is personal, and I feel it's an outlet for me when I don't feel like burdening the people I know IRL. Meh.

I think I need to find my swingline, and move to a beach. Today, it feels like that's the only thing that will cure my case of the Mundanes. Have you seen my stapler?

An Answer.

Oh.My.God. If I hear the Roseanne radio commercial where she talks about her vegas show, and you can tell she's reading a script, and the local dj's ALSO record scripted questions. SERIOUSLY! I might be forced to rip my ears off...and that wouldn't be a lot of fun for me.

ANYWAYS....

Onto answering Mandy's question:

If you had a chance to move anywhere in the world, where would it be and why?

I can feel my mind wandering to far off places right now. If you asked me this question pre-little man, I would answer without hesitation: New York City. However...it's not the best place to be single raising a toddler....SOOOO....hmmm, I'm a bit stumped. I am going to do myself a favor and rephrase the question so I can answer it :) If money were not an obstacle, I would move to a US coast, so I would have easy access to the ocean, as well as an international airport to travel back to MN in the spring and fall to enjoy the weather and see my parents and extended family.
I still have a lot of traveling ahead of me, so an living close to an international airport would be important and until I experience other parts of the world. I don't feel I'm educated enough (geographically speaking) to fairly weigh my options of moving to a different country. Do I want to visit Europe, South Africa, South America, Australia and New Zealand? OF COURSE! But until I experience their culture firsthand, I can't pinpoint where my dream home or area of the world would be.

Wow...what a lot of unnecessary rambling! I hope I answered your question!!

Pumpkin Pancakes

Since I had two requests for the recipe I used for pumpkin pancakes, I will concede and share my secrets (consider yourself lucky!)

...They're pretty darn delicious:

I use Aunt Jemima pancake mix to start..but any dry mix will do.

*Measure out the dry mix as directed

*Add equal parts cinnamon, ginger and nutmeg (I use a teaspoon of all three..they're the classic "Pumpkin Pie Spices")

*Add 2-3 Tablespoons of brown sugar

*Add eggs, milk and oil as directed on box and mix

*Mix in 1/3 cup canned pumpkin

Viola! Make pancakes as normal, and enjoy with butter and syrup :-)

They're slightly more temperamental when you flip them...but they turn out delicious, and are a definite favorite of my 2.5 year old. They smell amazing, and you can even elaborate for the adults by adding chopped walnuts or pecans to the batter.

They brown the best on a non-stick pan without grease/butter/non-stick spray.

Using the box mix is slightly cheating, but they turn out fantastic! I took the remaining canned pumpkin and divided it equally into ziplock bags and froze it for the next batch of pancakes. It can be thawed out in the microwave :-)

It's a pretty easy recipe. If you try it, let me know what you think!

Enjoy!

I'm Martha Effin Stewart B*!@#es

That's right, I said it. I really haven't been able to pinpoint what motivated me to:
~Organize a Saturday Morning football game
~Wake up on said Saturday morning and make a delicious breakfast of pumpkin pancakes and bacon
~Make Snickerdoodles on the same said Saturday morning
~Brew a huge pot of coffee to bring with to the football game along with the cookies.

Really, I'm going to brag about this....because I am that cool.

The turnout was fairly decent. We had a total of six to start, and a seventh joined a mid game. It was fun to act like a kid again.

We must have looked like a group of cool kids because our stellar skills caught the eye of a local 10 year old who just HAD to play with us. We willingly invited him to play. He was nice at first, but then got super cocky proclaiming "I'm going to out run all of these guys." Did I mention I don't like kids?

Really...other peoples kids tend to drive me bonkers.* I love little man, and for the life of me, if he ever turns into one of "those kids" I'll lock him in his room until he acts like a civilized human. Not really...but I'll be damned if he turns out to be a brat, you can count on that!

*Not your kid though...your kid is great! :)

Spiders, Monkeys and Witches

The spider saga continues. I am literally killing a spider a day. Not a little guy either...a dime sized nasty spider. Gross. Any suggestions? I am a second away from buying "hedgeballs" at the grocery store..but with my luck, little man would try eating them like an apple and get sick.

Little man is continuing to crack me up. He's telling EVERYONE that he's going to be a monkey. Did I mention he's also telling everyone that "Mama needs to be a witch."? I haven't quite figured out if he's trying to tell me something....hmmm.

I'm struggling to think of a story from the past that is equally funny as it is entertaining...but I got nothin. Don't you worry your reading heart...I'm sure something will pop into my head before the day is up :)

HAPPY FRIDAY!

HaHa is Me..

I make myself laugh.

Rainbows and Butterflies.

Black Coffee...I just don't get it. How can a person drink something hot that leaves your mouth with an extremely bitter, unpleasant aftertaste? To me, drinking coffee straight black is like waking up, going down on a guy, and swallowing EVERY MORNING...It just doesn't make sense (that is, unless money is involved, or, they happen to tuck their shirts into their underware...I digress)!!

How do people resist adding sugar and cream/milk? It turns a hot, bitter drink into a smooth, deliciously nutty beverage. The cream and the milk enhance the coffee flavor, so instead of destroying your taste buds, they are treated to hot ice cream. It's genius!

I know people say they were conditioned to drinking straight coffee, just like they were conditioned to drink nasty keg beer in college. Once you grow up, you realize that there is more to beer than nasty bush light...so why don't people realize there's more to coffee like that with sugar and cream/milk? Let me repeat myself: I just.don't.get.it.

I'm now convinced whoever can stomach drinking straight coffee and swallowing in the morning, and also enjoys Bush Light keg beer is a terrorist. Watch out, Georgie Bush Jr. is gonna get ya!

I wonder how John McCain and Barack Obama take their coffee? Now THAT'S a good question!

Fall

For all of you google feed readers out there...I just deleted a post I had written yesterday (and was published about 28 minutes ago). For inquiring minds, I had written it about a dramatic petty silly situation at work that had my undies in a bunch.
As I suspected, after a great night of sleep, my undies became unbunched, and I just didn't feel right about airing work drama via the internet. Sorry! :)

A Couple Things...

I am NOT a fan of waking up when it's dark outside. I mean, really! Mama always said, "Stay in bed 'till the sun is up and shining"...why can't that apply to the working world too??

The weather in MN cracked yesterday, and was BE-A-U-TIFUL! I took the liberty of going on a short 1/2 mile walk with little man. We walked over to visit with a friend, and on the way to and from my little stinker was talking my ear off. I need to force myself to have more moments like this with him. It sure beats sitting inside watching tv!

blurbalicious

I never dry my shirts or pants in a dryer; I hang my shirts to dry in my closet, and drape my pants over the back of my kitchen chairs

I am extremely tough on myself

I think my passion for life is misleading and often times intimidating

Laundry depresses me

...So does dating

Sometimes, I take an opposing side just for the sake of a great discussion

I see the good in people, and am mostly in denial about the negative aspects of people

Little man amazes me more and more each day

Often times, I wonder if broken relationships from the past will ever be mended

I am obsessively narcissistic about my blog. Some days I really want to be funny, others I strictly want to vent...but everyday I constantly check my site stats (kind of sick, eh?)

I have a really thick Minnesotan accent

I wish I had a circle of single parent friends...or even just parent friends that I could relate to and turn to for support

I hate money

I love school/learning

I admire people who can run a mile without stopping

I wonder if I'll ever be invited to play a role in someones wedding

I am almost convinced that I'm addicted to sugar

Tonight is the first time in as long as I can remember that I washed some clothes, and actually put them away in the same night


Those are a few blurbs about me...stealing borrowing inspiration from Cheryl, are there any questions you feel like asking me? Anything, really...Remember, you'll never know unless you ask :) (well, that's not totally true, but work with me people!)

Almond Joys Have Nuts.

Sometimes I feel like a nut. Today is one of those days. I wonder where that phrase came from...Who REALLY knows how nuts feel anyways? Do peanuts and pine nuts have different personalities? Is one nuttier than the other?

I personally love cashews...but let's be real people...Cashews aren't nuts. They're legumes (I think...which might classify them as WHAT exactly? Your guess is as good as mine).

It takes one to know one...so does that mean it takes a peanut to know a peanut? If so, I am not a peanut.

All of this talking about nuts leads me to a funny quote:
"Peanuts?"
"No Thanks...I got some myself. They're a little bit salty but I....consider them a carry-on."

Craziness

When I was expecting, I remember the first times I felt little man kick. It is an amazing feeling that is near impossible to describe. On that note, I've been having phantom baby kicking feelings. Weird huh? Especially since I haven't "gotten lucky" in close to a year.

No matter how hard I try, I always spell "weird" wrong. Whenever I hit spell check, it's usually the ONLY word highlighted. I think the word literally taunts me. Stupid word.

On another note....I've got a case of the Monday's...and it just so happens to be Monday. Go figure.

Look! A Bandwagon...Count me IN

I am not one to keep my mouth shut when frustration overcomes me. This is one of those moments. I am not attacking ANYONE, so I hope you don't become offended with what I am about to say, or how I have phrased myself. I know I've gotten into trouble with a few people in the past based on what I've posted on here, but I do not believe in censoring myself...so please, I ask you, if you have any issues, feel FREE to discuss them with me...Thanks.

Call me a girl who jumps on the bandwagon..but I cannot resist commenting about the Palin issue that seems to have so many of my friends heated up.
I am a bit unsettled by their willingness to outright say "Palin is an idiot." I am equally unsettled because almost all of the comments about Palins' lack of intelligence seem outright cruel.

Do I have respect for how she is portraying women? Of course not.
What I do have respect for is the ingenious angle the McCain Palin ticket is taking. They are obviously targeting the population of America who is less educated, and is yearning for a person who seems to be normal in office. A person who has no problem using the same slang terms they use in everyday life. A person who reaches out to them with English they understand. You may not agree with the McCain campaign, but I think they're winning more votes than you can imagine through portraying Palin in this light.

Do I personally agree with winking at the camera, giving shout outs in the middle of a VP debate, or using slang's like "you betcha" "doggone-it" and "Joe Sixpack"? HELLZ NO. But again, their campaign has focused her angle on reaching out to the less educated American looking for "a normal person" to be in the White House. Their tactics cannot be phrased in a simpler mannor.

I firmly believe all of the people I know are educated enough to be able to take a breath, and step outside of their liberal or conservative ways. I believe we all need to slow down for a moment, step outside of our comfort zone, and put ourselves in the shoes of each of the candidates for president. Not one of them should be labeled an idiot. All of them are standing where they are for a reason. They are all extremely intelligent, and are also more capable of doing a good job than we are letting ourselves believe.

I will cast my vote when the time comes, however I still haven't been able to reach a decision about who it will be for. I have a lot of researching, reading and listening to do. I hope you do the same.

Anyone care to help me off of this extremely high soap box?

Treat Time

"BOO! I SCARED YOU! I THINK YOU POOPED YOUR PANTS! GO SPARTANS!"

Honestly, that is probably one of the best SNL lines I've ever had the privilege of hearing first hand. It is a classic skit that I tend to revert to when I'm feeling extra random.

Some of my other favorites include:

TACO! BURRITO! WHAT'S THAT COMIN' OUTTA YO SPEEDO? YOU GOT TROUBLE...YEAH, BUBBLE TROUBLE!

WHO'S THAT SPARTAN PEEING IN YOUR POOL? IT'S ME! IT'S ME! UH HUH! UH HUH! UH HUH UH HUH UH HUH! SWIM LAPS!

U-G-L-Y! YOU AIN'T GOT NO ALLABY! YOU UGLY! YEAH...YOU UGLY! M-A-M-A THAT IS HOW YOU GOT THAT WAY YO MAMA! YO MAMA!

Hey Susie! Like my hair? Yeah? It's sun-in! SUN-IN! GO SPARTANS!

In a time where conversations are becoming more heated by the moment due to heavy political and religious topics....remember the Spartans. They always make me smile..and doggone-it, they'll probably make you smile too dontcha know. ;)

GO SPARTANS!

Quack Attack

Lately, it feels like all of the people I know are trying to get their ducks in a row. I am trying to do the same, but I feel like my ducks are of a different breed. Theirs consist of organizing finances to return to grad school, planning a wedding, doing remodeling projects around their homes, etc. Mine consist of paying off large amounts of debt, struggling with a decision about returning to school to achieve my first degree, reorganizing my finances so I can afford either of the previous (plus afford to pay rent, my electric bill, and buy groceries), deciding if buying a house is truly plausible for me, settling on a school district for little man to call home, all the while keeping my home life stable and happy.

I really don't know how I'm going to get these duckies to line up. Thinking about it makes my head begin to throb. I try to live my life taking "Baby Steps" (ha, no pun intended), but I feel so overwhelmed with my exotic and burdening ducks, I can't figure out which baby step to take first.

Blah Blah Blah...I'm a whiny baby. I wish I could find a duck wrangler who would willingly help me either a)win the lottery, or b)line my ducks up whilst creating the lease amount of grey hairs on my head as possible.

Ode to the Durse

You're big.
You can carry my load.
Every time I need to find something, you seem like a black hole.
You've made me feel secure outside of my comfort zone.
Most importantly, you've been there for me, through make-up blunders and dirty diapers.

As a 23 year old single mother, I had to come up with a creative resolution to carrying both a diaper bag AND a purse.

I've always had a love hate relationships with purses (doesn't that seem as if it should be purseai? Ya know, like syllabus::syllabai, HA! AS IF). I was rarely able to fit my necessities in the cute purses, but couldn't bring myself to buy a "bag."

I was stuck in the middle, and not liking it.

Then, little man came along and I'd be damned if I didn't leave the house stocked with baby supplies that could last me a week if need be. Enter, my Durse.

It wasn't sold in the baby section of target, but I refuse to call it a bag because I'm stubborn like that. It was fashionable and practical for me and my baby. If you are a new parent, don't waste your money on a diaper bag, just go straight for the durse. If you're a sexually active person, invest in a durse instead of another cute impractical purse...trust me, it'll be worth it later ;)

Call me crazy. Call me inventive. Just don't call me a bag lady.

Picture This.

I have been a photo-taker for as long as I can remember. More specifically, since I graduated from high school. I never picked up a nature knack in the photos I've taken...my photography centers around drinking and parties. Ninety nine percent of the photos are in albums, and the rest that are stored in a plastic drawer are HORRIBLE.

The other night, while brainstorming ways to rid my life of clutter, these pictures got me thinking. When is it alright to dispose of old pictures (if ever)? They aren't pictures I would be excited to show little man (or ANYONE), nor are they pictures I've looked at in YEARS.

Like I said, I have a small amount of these pictures in photo books, but most of them are still in the original paper folder from the Target Photo department. Little man has discovered the photo books, and really enjoys flipping through the pages. I'm not super enthusiastic about this, but the books he's pulled so far are a family trip when I was 10 (filled with crappy pictures taken by a wanna-be 10 year old "photographer"). The other are pictures of a family trip to Mexico (but still contain a few drinking shots since the family trip was when I was 19).

I'm all torn up about what to do. Any advice would be helpful!!!