Here's a Twist

I've finally come to the realization that being around people make me happy. Weird, I know.

I've always known myself to be optimistic, and others around me have constantly told me that I'm an extrovert...I usually just shrugged my shoulders and muttered "well alrighty then!" and moved onto the next topic.

At a time when you're supposed to get to know yourself (aka college) I was almost always drunk. I had many internal issues I didn't want to deal with, so instead of turning to self discovery, I masked my issues with booze...and a lot of it, at that.

Becoming a mom has extremely tamed my wild horses. However, the horses inside me still yearn to run wild, but in a different way than six years ago. They yearn for spontaneity, and adult human contact. They yearn to be included, and accepted amongst my peers. My wild horses crave laughter with others, instead of laughter in the solace of my home, alone. They wish I am able socialize (with adults) in a casual social setting apart from the workplace on a regular basis.

A large part of my life I am still adjusting to is allowing my horses to run free, but doing so as a mother instead of a crazy young single 20-something....and also the way the people who were in my life pre-little man react differently towards me post little man. I can't really blame them...I mean, I was the first to have a child....and children really do change EVERYTHING. I can imagine seeing me sober most of the time, and slightly less wild'n crazy has also been an adjustment for them...but that's just an assumption.

Me, getting to know me, has been an extremely interesting process thus far. There's still a lot about me I haven't discovered...The path has been traveled since the day I became pregnant with little man, and everyday since I've been enjoying the ride as much as I can.

Single Parenthood.

I feel like this is a bold, bold statement...but sometimes I think I make single parenting look damn good.

Let me be the first to tell you that being a single parent has presented me with an intense list of con's that have weighed heavy on my heart. Here's a pro, and a con;

Pro:
I do (and deal with) everything alone - the only resistance I'm met with is my own subconscious (and that of a 3.5 year old).

Con:
I do (and deal with) everything alone - No second opinions for this chick. No ulterior way of handling an intense situation.

Coincidence that they're pretty much the same? I think not.

I'll venture to say I'm stubborn..and I RE-FUSE to let the con's prevent little man from experiencing a well-rounded childhood.

I came to the realization that I make single parenting look easy when I was browsing some pictures I had uploaded to shut your face facebook.

I have pictures of the two of us on the field of the Metrodome, of us ice skating at the excel center, of play dates at the park...Almost every single photo I've taken of myself and little man have been taken by strangers. I tell you this only to shed some light on my situation. Is it easy to ask a stranger to take a picture of you and your son? Nope. But it's worth the (slight) embarrassment to capture our moments together. By no means is this a pity party...just a small glimpse of my reality.

I know I've written about my struggle to remain an individual apart from being a mom...and in doing that, I haven't truly disclosed what I go through as a single mom. Sure, I write about little parenting things, about how I get frustrated when little man acts up...or how I feel like I don't fit in as much with my friends who don't have children...and don't forget my struggles to make friends with other parents...Maybe the majority of my thoughts are over shared musings because I yearn for someone to share the sweet (and bitter) moments with. All things considered, I get that I'm a "mom" now. I think know that it has been a change for the better.

I believe in "damning the man". If someone doubts me, I love proving them wrong. Maybe I feel like I'm doing a good job because I know how difficult the last three and a half years have been. I know I've had choices. I could've given up at anytime, but I didn't...and ya know what? It hasn't been easy. I've shed MANY a tear. I've laughed off much frustration...however, the struggles I've been faced with (and continue to face every single day) are absolutely worth it.

Dear Blogger,

STOP POSTING FOR ME WHEN I DON'T WANT YOU TO.

Thanks,
Miz

Dear Long Weekend,

Be-Boppin

A while back I made a photo slide show of little man to the tune of Natasha Bedingfield's Pocket Full of Sunshine. On my drive into work this morning the same song was played on the radio. It's not a very popular song, and doesn't get a whole lot of play time these days...but it's a beautiful song.

I'll spare you all of the lyrics (because I normally skip over copied lyrics when I come across them myself) but if you're really interested, you can read them here.

The song lyrics got me thinking (scary, yes...), music can be SO powerful...and can completely make or break a mood. Some people are so versed in music they can declare one song as their theme. I, on the other hand, am NOT well versed in music. Instead, I'm a simple top-40's chick...who loves all most things played on the radio.

Where am I going with all of this rambling? I am in dire need of good music in my life. Music I can sing to. Music that makes me bop my head to the catchy riff. Music that moves me.

I'm not necessarily begging for you to make me mixed cd's, but I wouldn't be opposed to it either!!

What kind of music makes you groove?

My Sweet Little Man

Little man is a 2.5 ft tall bundle of sensitivity...and here's why:

While watching a "best of" episode of So You Think You Can Dance (don't judge me, there's NOTHING on television these days), little man declared this after every slow dance:

"Mooooooom, that's AWESOME. Oh my gosh, I'm going to cry."

..Is it just me, or is he sweet?
...Is it just me, or does he need a serious dose of testosterone?!

I love him.

Googled.

Have you ever googled yourself? You know you have. EVERYONE has. For me, it had been a while since I typed my name into the search bar. The last time I wondered what one could find out about me via the net was when I had an unpleasant fellow from the Internet find out my address....creepy, I know.

Much to my surprise, I found out a few things when I googled my name today.

1) I have a twitter account, and I am a hard-working single mama.
2) I ran a 5K at a 9.06 minute pace.
3) I am participating in a National Alliance for Mental Illness walk (NAMI) in honor of a high school classmate that recently passed away.

All of these things actually put a smile on my face. They are all small details of my life that I am pleased to find out the Internet discloses, although they are nothing I'd bring up in an everyday convo.

So, since we've already covered that you HAVE googled yourself...have you googled yourself LATELY? Did you like what you found?