I've finally come to the realization that being around people make me happy. Weird, I know.
I've always known myself to be optimistic, and others around me have constantly told me that I'm an extrovert...I usually just shrugged my shoulders and muttered "well alrighty then!" and moved onto the next topic.
At a time when you're supposed to get to know yourself (aka college) I was almost always drunk. I had many internal issues I didn't want to deal with, so instead of turning to self discovery, I masked my issues with booze...and a lot of it, at that.
Becoming a mom has extremely tamed my wild horses. However, the horses inside me still yearn to run wild, but in a different way than six years ago. They yearn for spontaneity, and adult human contact. They yearn to be included, and accepted amongst my peers. My wild horses crave laughter with others, instead of laughter in the solace of my home, alone. They wish I am able socialize (with adults) in a casual social setting apart from the workplace on a regular basis.
A large part of my life I am still adjusting to is allowing my horses to run free, but doing so as a mother instead of a crazy young single 20-something....and also the way the people who were in my life pre-little man react differently towards me post little man. I can't really blame them...I mean, I was the first to have a child....and children really do change EVERYTHING. I can imagine seeing me sober most of the time, and slightly less wild'n crazy has also been an adjustment for them...but that's just an assumption.
Me, getting to know me, has been an extremely interesting process thus far. There's still a lot about me I haven't discovered...The path has been traveled since the day I became pregnant with little man, and everyday since I've been enjoying the ride as much as I can.
3 days ago