Attention. I crave it. I love it. I miss it.
As a single mom, it's not very often I get the opportunity to go out on the town and truly let my hair down. Compared to my non-parent friends (who honestly never need to put their hair up in the first place), I usually get out about once a month. I normally have to sacrifice going to certain gatherings because toting a toddler around is not appropriate (especially considering most of these gatherings include copious amounts of alcohol...). That being said, I'll let you in on a little secret. Sometimes, I wonder if I'm turning into the person who people stop calling to invite out. I wonder if they expect me to say no. I certainly hope not!!
Anywho...back to my train of thought. Attention.
Pre-little man, I was a very outspoken drunk. I say "drunk" because alcoholics go to meetings, and I didn't have time for "meetings" when I was 22. I was working as a bartender, drinking about six nights a week. Each night, I would guzzle a half dozen plus beers, laugh, talk to people, and end the night passed out at a friends house, only to wake up and repeat my day all over again (kind of like the movie groundhogs day...only I never got down in the dumps over it!). Honestly, it was a lot of fun. I felt the burden of zero responsibility. I lived for the moment and the moment lived for me. What more could my 22 year old self want or need? Nada.
Fast forward four years. I am the exact opposite of my 22 year old self, aside from one thing....I still love attention, hehe. At the risk of tooting my own horn, the type of attention I attract/accept is far different from yester-year. I might speak with a guy I don't know at a bar, but I leave it at that. It's far more rewarding than making myself out to be an acehole. Not gonna lie, I'm proud of where I am, especially compared to where I've come from.
3 days ago