Last Night in Six Words

Date. Butterflies in stomach. Go Twins!

Happy Anniversary!

As of today, I've been in my current position for a year. It is a milestone of time that has flown past my eyes in a glorious and enjoyable whirlwind. My coworkers are amazing. The work is steady. My boss is unbelievably supportive of my professional and personal life. At times, it feels like my own personal utopia...and I love every second of it.
I never envisioned myself as a part of the corporate world...more so, I never fathomed actually enjoying the majority of my time spent working.
Maybe I love the company I am currently receiving my paychecks from because I respect them and their business decisions. I had previously worked in a horrible politically motivated environment. Switching positions and companies has given me a breath of fresh air that I enjoy breathing in every morning as my alarm goes off to start my day.
I am so thankful for the opportunities I've been fortunate for this past year. I am extremely excited for the opportunities my company is providing for my future. I've got a cheesy grin on my face, and I don't see it going away anytime soon.

Thanks Baby Boy

Dear Little Man,
The past week has been a whirlwind of emotions. Some amazing, some not so much. In all, it has reminded me to cherish you even when you seem to go out of your way to upset me. Somehow, you manage to make me smile when smiling feels like an impossible feat. I love that about you. Like how you looked at me early Monday morning, and without prompting, smiled and told me I looked pretty. This was the first time you've ever said something like that to me. It was exactly what I needed to hear. Thanks baby boy.
Lately, on the way home from school, you've been in a semi-serious mood. I wish I could capture your facial expressions on camera. They're adorable (and I'm not just saying it either...they are equally as funny as they are cute, I promise!). You tell me something, like "I want fruit snack mama" and then pout your lips out, have a serious brow, and shake your head. It almost looks like you have convinced yourself of a brilliant idea, and I would be crazy not to go along with it. I've found myself laughing at this expression on more than one occasion. Thanks baby boy.
You seem to be a potty-trained master. As much as it drives me nuts, it's very entertaining to race you to the potty when we walk in the door in the afternoon. Mommy always seems to have the urge to go..and your little man feet never fail to scurry behind me while you proclaim "NO MAMA!! I GO POTTY!!" This past week, you've started to take my poor bladder into consideration. When I hear "Your turn now mama!" I can not resist a smile from the way you are using your "toddler manners". Thanks baby boy.
Tomorrow, mommy will have been at her "new job" for exactly a year. You've endured countless early mornings, many long days, followed by random nights filled with errands here and there. I try my best to have at least one quality moment with you each day. The sounds of your giggles recharge my batteries, and reminds me why being your mama is so amazing. Thanks baby boy.

I love you from here to the moon, and back again!
Mama

Hopes and Fears

I'm going to let you in on a little secret. I haven't kissed a boy in over five months....and I wasn't sober at the time. In fact, I do NOT remember the last time I had a truly passionate, sober, heart stopping kiss. Does a person forget how to kiss? Please tell me it's like riding a bike. Kissing God, if you're out there...please have mercy on me!

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

I have to attend two funerals on Monday. It seems like the only thing going right in my life (aside from little man's health) is my dating life...and let me tell you, I thought hell would freeze over before that would happen.
I just haven't felt like myself the past couple of days. I start thinking about everything that has happened and I start spontaneously ugly crying. I really hope I snap out of this soon.

Friday Finds

In lieu of all of the crappy things going on in my life...I've decided to make a sad and pathetic attempt to lighten the mood....

WHO'S UP FOR THE GOOGLE SEARCH WORDS USED TO FIND THIS LITTLE OLD BITTY?? I AM! I AM!

So here goes it...the words that people typed into google, and led them here (in no particular order..) (I lied...they're in order of my least favorite to most favorite...or are they...dum dum dummmmmm)

~ Tragic spinster
~ Twilight zone circus
~ bich ers (really, I didn't type that wrong...it's really what was used. I know, right?)
~ pondering thoughts on life.
~ cinderella twists and turns
~ stacy eharmony (creepy!)
~ pandora duece (huh?)
~ sailor language (GUILTY!)
~ random life questions to ponder
~ good by in sailor language (again, that's the exact phrase..weird, huh?)
~ stuck in a rut (oh snap!)
~ bumper sticker, go fly a kite (werd)

Really people, I couldn't make this stuff up if I tried. Hope you're having a lovely Friday!

Hugs'n Smootches Around!!

Words Really Cannot Describe...

My heart hurts while I am writing this...just thought I should warn you.

This week, while filled with fun and exciting news about my recent rekindled dating life, has been riddled with gut-wrenching news.

I found out on Monday afternoon that a classmate of mine from high school had fallen ill, and had been rushed to the hospital. His diagnosis was bleak. I'll spare you the details, but to sum it up, it was cancer. Tuesday afternoon, a message was posted that he had passed away. I was in shock.

I hadn't spoken with this person in a long time...but I have very fond memories of him. He was the type of guy who loved to argue for the sake of arguing. He would read people's reactions to his words, and fuel his arguments off of their passion. It was equally annoying and entertaining. He had a kind heart that you could see in his eyes. He was far too young to perish.

This afternoon, while sitting in a class, I received an email from little man's daycare with a subject line reading: Important. In this email, I was informed that the three month old baby of little mans's former toddler teacher was found dead in his crib. The second I read this news, I got up from my chair and walked out of the classroom (lucky for me the class had been over for a minute, and people were filling out the class evals, and leaving shortly after). I composed myself, finished my eval, and v-lined for my car so I could let my emotions out.

I am finding myself tear up as I'm writing this. I just wrote out the details of what happened to Cameron, but my moral judgments are deeming them too graphic to post on my blog. If you care to hear the unabridged version, email me and I'll tell you. It really makes no difference how he passed away...the fact remains that a mother is without her baby, a father without his son, and a little boy without his little brother. I can't even begin to understand the void they must all be feeling...my heart pains for them.

My crying and hysterics this afternoon only lasted for about ten minutes. Once my tears had dried, my mind started racing to figure out what I could do to help out Amy's family. The best I could come up with is to organize a group effort of daycare parents to get together and prepare one-dish meals that can be frozen, and reheated. I just sent out an email to the group, and am waiting for feedback.

I just can't seem to wrap my mind around all of this. Hopefully the sun will shine tomorrow.

Any Suggestions?

Ok...So I outed myself about the second date..and now I need your help. What is a fun and appropriate second date? I am really looking into doing something slightly non-traditional..and with a high amount of fun involved.
A couple of traditional ideas I've come up with:
~Bowling
~Dinner and a movie

I really want to take a trip to the apple orchard...but I would love to reserve something like that for a third date (IF there's a third date...).

Is it bad that I'm hoping there's some sort of drinking involved to help ease any awkwardness of "the goodbye"? I mean, I barely remember the last time I kissed a boy!! I have a nervously excited ball of giddiness in my tummy :)