The Dreaded Five Letter S Word

It all began two nights ago. My poor little man came stumbling in, cheeks blazing red, and completely discombobulated. I knew something was wrong, but I couldn't diagnose him....I couldn't make him feel better, and I really did feel horrible. I did what most parents of a toddler who wakes up with a fever do, I administered some Motrin, and prayed that his fever would be gone by morning.
The next day, he still woke up feverish...I am a stubborn mommy, and was still trying to wait his illness out, so I dosed him with some more Motrin, and dropped him off at daycare (hoping he would make it through the day, and that this ailment had passed).
At lunch time, I received the call.
His teacher broke the bad news to me. Little man had another temperature of 103 and was NOT doing well. I raced out of work, worried what this nasty fever actually meant. I couldn't get to his daycare fast enough..I ignored almost every speed limit sign there was to ignore..and when I arrived at daycare, little man was passed out sleeping. He looked so sweet and innocent. He looked like my little baby. I picked him up and the second his eyes opened he let out a "mommy!" It melted my heart. I told him "mommy's here sweety," and we were on our way home. The entire afternoon he had a fever...At one point, he actually pushed me away, declared "MOVE MAMA! GO AWAY!" I was dumbfounded, but at the same time, it was pretty cute! A few minutes after I was told to leave, he came hobbling up to me, and wanted to cuddle. The kid was still burning up, and ended up snuggling in and going taking a nap in my arms. I has spoken with his new clinic, and they did not want to see him until his fever had lasted longer than 72 hours. This left me a bit uneasy.
This morning, I decided to give the good ol' minute clinic a try. We were third in line to see the Nurse Practitioner. It was totally our luck that the patients being seen were friends of the practitioner....a five minute appointment took about 25 minutes. I was a bit peeved. The two people in front of us were in and out in a flash, and then it was our turn. She checked his ears, and noticed a LITTLE redness in one...and then she decided to check his throat. When he opened his mouth for her she gasped and said "Oh Dear!" I kid you not, she acted as if she had just seen something horrible. She looked at me and said "I think he has Strep..." For the second time in two days, my heart sank. $75 dollars later we were on our way to G-ma's house.
We were a few blocks away when my phone rang. It was Ramona, from the minute clinic. Apparently, Ramona had miscalculated little mans penicillin dose...so she asked if I wouldn't mind returning to get his medicine relabeled with the correct dosage. I literally wanted to reach through my phone and b-slap her. The clinic was completely out of my way, but I obliged, and now have the correct label on his medicine bottle. I hope this is the one and only time that the five letter S word is used in my house. I hope I don't catch this terribly catchy bug. And thank GOD it's not worse!!

Good Night Hoping For a Pleasant Tomorrow

Good nights seem to always be overshadowed by an ailment of some sort. I was about to crawl into bed after a nice conversation with a new friend of mine, when my poor little man literally stumbled into my room, with cheeks blazing red. When I picked him up he literally felt like he was on fire. I turned to him and asked "What is going on with you sweety?" in which I received an "uuh." His temperature read 103. My heart sank for him. I don't know what kind of bug he caught this time, but all I know is medicine was administered and he settled back into his bed.
Around 1am he came and crawled into bed with me...but I must have been snoring or something, because shortly after he sneaked out of my bed, and I found him sleeping soundly in his own bed this morning! I felt horrible for dragging him out of bed to get ready for school this morning. His fever had mostly broke, but was still sitting a few decimals above normal, so another dose of meds insued.
He is such a trooper some days. He didn't put up a huge fight to get out of the door. I think he is going to take after his mama in terms of school..I am very thankful for that!

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Tonight was the little man's first attempt at riding a two wheel bike!! It had training wheels, and its small frame was completely adorable. I managed to snap some pictures of the ordeal. Since I'm lazy, hopefully I'll post the pics within the next week!!

Sleepy Hollow

This always happens to me....the second I lay down to go to sleep I think of something that might actually be slightly interesting to write about. Tonight, instead of making an empty promise to myself that "I'll remember this thought for tomorrow..." I decided to get up and write.
I am interested in peoples' opinions about children sleeping with their parents. (**As I was typing this, I was interrupted by little man screaming "Owie, mama!!" Needless to say, I went into his room, he was SUPER clingy, and I allowed him to come sleep with me for the night...)
Since little man was three weeks old, I was a firm believer in sleeping him in allowing him to cuddle during the day, but was strict about him sleeping in his crib at night. I can count on my left hand the number of times I allowed him to sleep next to me at night, and those times were only because he was very sick and it was the only way either of us were going to get any sleep.
My life hasn't been the same since I introduced the toddler bed to him a few months ago. He started a nasty pattern of waking up sometime during the early morning hours (usually somewhere between 3 and 5), walking into my room, and since I am USUALLY in the midst of a dead sleep, I pick him up, and lay him down between myself and the wall. Is this unacceptable behavior on my part? How long will it take for me to rid him of this behavior? Can I break this horrible habbit of his? If I can break the habbit, how do I go about doing so without depriving myself of sleep, resulting in me going absolutely crazy!! (Since, let's face it...It's ALWAYS ABOUT ME! ;) ) I will sadly admit, since going to the toddler bed, I can only count on my hand the number of times he has woken up in his own bed in the last three months. What's a mom to do?!

Semi-Optimistic Meh

I am still on an optimistic path, albeit a semi-fake one....but at least I'm trying, right?
This weekend was mostly spent alone. I am tempted to write out the monotonous details but instead I am just going make this short and semi-sweet*.
Today (Sunday) I caught an excellent Twins game on television, and after the twinkies victorious pummel over Detroit, I took little man to the park for a while...The park was a huge eye opener for me. I have been taking him to this park since his days of barely being able to walk. This year, he is so courageous. He climbs, slides and holds his own with the other kids. I was so proud of him this afternoon. Even though he seems fairly confident exploring, I couldn't bring myself to leave his side...after all, he's still only two, and the other kids could have easily (accidentally) knocked him off of the equipment....So I guess I get the Overprotective Mother Of The Day Award! :)
Back to my fake optimism. I am finding myself being irritated with my life situation. I think I am subconsciously taking it out on the people around me...mainly my family and close friends. I am not proud of myself or my actions...and all I have felt like doing is packing up the bare necessities of my life and moving to a new city in a new state. (don't worry, I am not going to do this...I am just confessing about a nagging urge). Running away rarely ever solves problems, this I understand. Unfortunately I am finding myself at a dead end..and I have run out of options or ideas as to how I can resolve my current "issues." Maybe the only resolution is to come to terms with the fact that there is no resolution to my issues, but I just don't feel like conceding yet...I'm still holding onto hope.
In other, more exciting news...I'm gearing up for a telephone first date with a lawyer...(you know who you are, and I'm going to give you a big "I TOLD YOU SO" that I was going to tell all of my friends about you..hehe) ;)
Friends...did I mention that he's a LAWYER? :D
I hope everyone had a fantastic weekend...and I hope the nice weather is here to stay for a few months!!

*If this was short and sweet...just imagine what the lengthy post I originally wrote was like..you guessed it! Loooong and boring!!! You're Welcome :)

It's a New Day.

Rainy spring days make sunny ones all the more enjoyable. This morning I struggled to get out of bed. The pelting of the rain drops were extremely soothing to my soul. After yesterday, a day of depressing pitiful thoughts, and an evening filled with tears, I am ready to start off today with a clean slate. I know it will take many baby steps to attain a healthy lifestyle that will be both conducive to myself, and little man, but I am ready. This morning, I started off the morning with a small cup of coffee (instead of the jumbo cup..one point for me!!). I also measured out the amount of sugar and cream, and the coffee still tasted delicioso! As for the rest of my day, I am going to attempt to stay away from any and all soda's. I will also attempt to drink water the rest of the day. If I can continue to adapt these small steps, I think I will be off to a great start.

Well..I've been procrastinating at work for an hour and a half. Despite the lousy weather I am actually in a great mood. Time for me to clean up my desk. I hope everybody is having a great Friday, and has a nice and relaxing weekend!!

Now it's time to think think think!**

I have been pondering and brainstorming about how and what I can do to change my life around. I am so upset about my current state that it is taking anything and everything to hold back the tears, and put on a non-self-conscious smile at work. I have a good feeling I am going to break down in tears the second I get to my car...
SOOO, in order to combat my obese-ness, I am going to publicly pledge to do the following:
Cut down on television time - Since I'm not a huge re-run fan, I stopped watching a lot of television during the writers strike...and since the strike is over, I am going to make a plan to not watch more than 5 television shows per week.
Cut down on alcohol consumption - I really have been drinking a lot lately. Going out on the weekends has truly been soaring my caloric intake to new heights!! From this point on, I pledge to limit myself to one light beer, or one glass of dark red wine per social outing. This will prove to be difficult and challenging on a few upcoming occasions, but I WILL SURVIVE!
Really make an honest effort to hit up the fitness center or go for a walk during my lunch hour - I have been really BAD about doing this over the past month. I don't know what caused my lack of motivation...but I strongly feel that I can start this up again, and be successful!
Spend more quality time outside with Little Man - Yes, it sucks that we don't live in a house with a fenced in yard...but that will not prevent me from getting my chunk in gear and going to the park. It's only a short walk away...and kids little man's age NEVER get sick of the swings!!
Get to sleep at an early hour - If I make an honest effort to cut television out of my evening schedule, then I should have NO PROBLEM being in bed and sleeping by 9:15.
Attempt to restart the workout dvd's I purchased around the holidays- If I make an honest effort to get to bed early, I should have NO PROBLEM waking up a half hour earlier, and running through a ten minute dvd. I think it will also help me get more immediate results if I am dedicating two separate times during my day to exercise.
Stick to my pledge - I can really use all of the help and support on this as I can get. I am begging and pleading for support (imagine the most desperate voice in the world..and that is me right now!). Since I don't have a man to focus on (other than little man of course) I should be able to do this without my hand being held. Unfortunately, this is not the case for me. Not only do I need someone holding my hand, but in a lot of ways I need someone pulling me by the hair on my head (OK, I'm not THAT stubborn...you get the idea though...)


**Does anyone know where the title of this post comes from?? You should if you're a parent of a toddler!!!

BICH (this post doesn't deserve the T)

All I want to do is cry, write about crying, then cry some more. I feel like an ass-clown for feeling this way, especially because I know things could be worse, but feelings are feelings.

This morning, I was greeted with the fourth day of diarrhea diapers from little man. He apparently has the "poop water but is not feverish" bug that just won't seem to go away. It is also making his diaper changes quite unpleasant for both parties.

When I arrived at work this morning I went straight across the office to a company sponsored health fair where I received a health assessment. The only reason I signed up was to receive the company incentive of $100.00 (a single mom would NEVER pass up a virtually free hundo). The assessment entailed recording my weight, height and drawing some blood to test for cholesterol and miscellaneous things. When I stepped on the scale my stomach churned. I should NOT have looked at the number. I haven't worked out in a little over a month. I don't know who stole my motivation, but it is gone and I am left puzzled, and weighing just about as much as I did when I was NINE MONTHS PREGNANT! I've tried "getting healthy." I've tried formulating a health plan..but all seem damn impossible for this chunky mama to adhere to. I am honestly at a loss right now. I feel like I received a certificate of defeat. I don't know how, if ever, I will be in shape again, and happy with my physical appearance. I just don't know.

Coming back to work from taking a day off is always a little stressful. This morning, via email, I was greeted with a message from my super nice boss that also had me a little down. I don't know if I had "pms-brain" on Tuesday, but APPARENTLY I had forgotten to switch our main telephone lines over to our night voicemail system. This frustrates and worries me for a couple of reasons. First, I JUST KNOW I put the phones on our night line before I left. I am such a darn perfectionist, and our switchboard is so freaking old, and I really do believe in my heart that they were switched over, and that there is a short circuit. There have also been a few mornings where I have been greeted by telephones that were not switched over. Although my gut initially has been twisted at the sight of the phones not being switched over, I really do know that I had put them on our night service. I attempted to talk with my boss about it this morning, but she was pretty wrapped up in our health fair, so I will have to readdress this with her at a later date and time. I kind of have the impression that she doesn't believe me...and I just don't know how I can convince her that I am competent enough to do my simple job, and it's the phones that are short circuiting, not me.

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On a more positive note, little man has officially proved to me that he knows how to count. We were about to leave the house to go to the park, and I heard him say "One, Two" so I followed up with an elated "THREE" and then he showed me up with a "FOUR FIVE SIX"!!! It completely caught me off guard, seeing as he usually had been repeating "one, two, one."