Let's pretend there is a person in your life who drives you CRAZY. This person invites you to be in her wedding, but when she finds out she's pregnant and has to do a shotgun wedding (and plans the ENTIRE THING in less than two months) she turns to you for advice about how to cut her bridesmaids down from 8 to 5. She confides that she tried notifying the other 7 girls about this, and they all came back, assuming they'd still be in the wedding. And since we're playing the "pretend game", let's say you gave her your two-cents on the matter...which basically said they should feel honored to be included in the wedding as is, bridesmaid or not (not thinking you'd be the person excluded).
Now...fast forward to this "friend" ignoring you for two days...so you confront the friend via email and ask her if she's ignoring you because she's demoting you from her wedding...and the friend tells you that you're no longer apart of the bridal party.
Keep in mind, this friend has NEVER said a positive thing about the other people she decided to keep in her wedding..and said she would've asked YOU to be her maid of honor but knew the other girls would get EXTREMELY dramatic about it.
After an afternoon of exchanging horribly dramatic emails, you feel like this friend isn't as close as you once had originally thought....so you decide it's best to just cut off all ties, and fore go the entire thing.
Is that the wrong thing to do?
1 week ago
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I'm not so sure about cutting ties, since planning a wedding tends to be a super stressful time for some people. Also, she may have been caught off guard by your comments, which put her on the defensive, AND emails almost never read exactly how you intend. You may try reconnecting in person after you feel you both have calmed down.
ReplyDeleteThat being said, if you know deep down that this friendship has been heading downhill for a while, or her crazyness is something you can't handle anymore, maybe this is a good time to cut ties.
Awesome advice! Where were you yesterday BEFORE all of the nasty emails were sent back and forth? I think the latter part of your comment is what holds true...Unfortunately, it was a friendship that was more damaging than positive, so I believe it's better if ties are cut.
ReplyDeleteThanks for your input!
I always think the drama surrounding weddings isn't worth it. There's always so much pressure to include this person or that, and feelings get hurt, and god, it's just not worth it!
ReplyDeleteI'd just let things cool down a little, but don't cut ties. Not over just this at least.