Introducing...

Ninja and Nemo... I'm not a photo journalist, so bear with me on the poor photo quality. Nemo has a few light black stripes down her sides (yes, they are light black, not grey...you'd have to meet the little fishy to totally grasp it..they almost look like thick stripe shadows..yes, it's weird, but it means she'll definitely fit in with the fam!) Ninja has the black dorsal fin. He must be camera shy, because he was doing his darnedest to hide it from me.
With everyone introducing their new fur babies to the world, I saw it fit to introduce my new family additions as well...
Stay tuned for the next introduction: Random crap from Target that just HAD to come home with me and join my family...

Isn't It Lovely?

Thank you, PMS, for only lasting a few days...hence, my funky funk has dissipated, and I am in a lovely mood.
My tables turned this past friday. I think it was the combination of seeing a cool movie (in an actual theater), being able to enjoy a beer with some friends, chopping off my hair, finally putting fish into little-mans aquarium, cleaning most of my linens, starting my taxes and cleaning my car like it has never been cleaned before. Sounds like a lot on paper, and I have been busy, don't get me wrong...but it's really not as much as I would have liked to do! It was also a glorious weekend (weather wise), which is helping me get through the current blizzard we are experiencing here...Thank god for the warm weather so this snow will only last a day!
Little-man was able to play outside with his cousin yesterday..it was awesome! I long for the day when I own a house, just so little-man will have a safe place outside to go, without having to be supervised with every little step that he takes :)

Twist Of The Day (TOTD):
The snow storm today is the first snow storm of the season that HASN'T made me start humming "It's Beginning to look a lot like Christmas." I'm ready for winter to be over and done with (at least until it's a sweltering 95 degrees and super humid!).

Funky Funk

I am in a funk. There are many reasons (excuses) for my funk..but I don't know how I will snap out of this one.
~My house is still a mess and I have no idea how I am going to get it in order.
~I am still overweight and miserable, and losing exercise motivation.
~I have had two "friendships" dissipate in the year 2008...maybe it's for the better, but that doesn't mean it doesn't hurt.
~Little man continues to spit when I tell him "no." I made a small step this morning by telling him he needs to say "I'm Mad." instead of spitting...he proceeded to say "I mad." and then give me a hug..but five minutes later, started spitting again.
~My dating outlook is lookin extremely negative. I haven't been able to put myself out there, even after signing up for a stupid online dating membership. It's so frustrating I just want to scream.
~Some of my friends are going through some pretty dark times, and I feel extremely guilty for being in this funk, because I know life could get worse. I admire them for their strength...they are way better people than I am.
~To expand on the previous blurb..I am a fricken baby and need to learn how to swallow things instead of festering. grr to me!
~I don't want to be so hard on myself, but I know my issues need to be addressed, and being hard on myself is the only way I know how.

Doughnuts and Dreams...

I waved to M as she was entering the state fair...toting a white trailer behind her "woody" station wagon. From the drivers seat, she exclaimed "I have a mini doughnut stand this year...catch ya later!" I really wanted to work at the doughnut stand with her...I believe I left her a voicemail requesting this, but never received a response.
Me showed up a little later, sporting a classic looking red and gold mini doughnut stand. She was also going to be selling the tasty treats at the fair. She also divulged to me that M didn't need me to work with her, so that is why I never received a return call. She said M had a different friend come and work..I was a little sad. I begged Me if I could work in her doughnut stand...she hesitantly said "Sure."
When I arrived for my first doughnut stand shift, I was greeted by a man who was rockin the mini's like a superstar. He had a secret batter, and would whip up each batch from scratch. He had a special technique for the birth of each little ring of deliciousness. He even had a special mixture of cinnamon and sugar (with a third, and super strange sounding ingredient that was supposed to bring the mini doughnut to another dimension). Out of nowhere, everything was ruined. Our doughnut stand had become overrun with fruit flies (no thanks to the third secret ingredient in the sugar/cinnamon mixture). We had to close, and my days in the mini doughnut ring were over.

...This was my dream that woke me up this morning.

Censored?

I was looking for a mental escape. It was the beginning of winter, I was stressed out to the max and feeling completely alone. I know I have good friends I could call upon, but I was afraid to do so. I had heard my friends talk about their "blogs" but had no idea what it was, or how I went about attaining one. All I knew, was I needed an outlet, and I had run out of options.
I started writing. I had never been a huge fan of a written journal. My hand would always cramp. I would also forget to write in it for months at a time. The blog was the answer to my problems.
Some would say that I am obsessive over posting. Others would say that my blog is boring, long, and on the verge of lame. To them, I say "to each their own." I am not clever, witty, or very creative. But these posts, for the most part, have kept me from falling into a deep vortex. It's amazing to think that venting through some quick writing can help a person as much as it has helped me. My blog has been my antidepressant. My blog has saved me from having to pay copious amounts of money to express my feelings to a stranger, knowing what their responses were going to be.
This morning, after reading a great post by an awesome blogger, Kristen, I started wondering how censored I have kept myself since starting to post my thoughts. I'd like to think I bare all,but I know I've held back a little because I'm afraid of what some of the readers here might say or think about me. I don't think my family even knows I post, nor does my office. The majority of the readers here are my real life friends. They know me, although I try to keep myself anonymous. Does knowing that I'm not as anonymous as I think I am hinder my literary freedom? If I start writing posts that come from my gut, will my real life friends look at me differently? Will it matter to them? Should it matter to me? I think these are rhetorical questions, because I know I am the kind of person who will write what I'm thinking and go back to edit myself later..

Letter to Self

Dear Me,

I am writing this to inform you of a few things that have been concerning me. I need you to settle down a little, take a deep breath, and relax. You have been getting extremely worked up the past couple of weeks, and I need to set some things straight.
First, stop being so damn sensitive. The world does not hate you, nor is it out to get you. You are a good person, and people realize that, even though they might not show it all of the time. You have made it a habbit to feel hurt and let down by people not paying attention to you, and, frankly my dear, you need to drop it and pick up a new and healthier habbit.
Keep up the good work on the exercise front. I know you feel like a big old bloated marshmellow...but hard work and determination will pay off. You've made excellent choices by hitting the fitness center and making healthier selections at the grocery store. Before you know it, your pants will become loose and you will feel lighter and more energetic. Enjoy your curves, and own them. Some people would kill to have them..and if you got it...flaunt it!
Stop trying to talk yourself into thinking you are a bad or poor mother. Little-man is truely lucky to have you, as you are lucky to have him. He has taught you so much in the little time you have spent with each other, and will continue to teach you things you never thought were even possible. He will continue to challenge you, and you will continue to lead him. Keep your chin up, and keep up the good work. He will be a fine and respectable young man before you know it. Enjoy his toddler antics while you can, because before you know it he'll be begging for the car, or twenty dollars, or both...
Don't be afraid to keep the television off for a night. It's okay to miss a show so you can clean your house and even start some laundry. Chances of the show being replayed are extremely high. Besides, it is rare that a television show is really life altering...so what have you got to lose by missing it? Nothing.
I hope you haven't taken offense to anything I have said. If I have any other matters to bring to your attention, I will most certainly write again. Thanks for listening.

Sincerely,
Me.

Aww Shucks

So...nobody responded to my request for introductory comments. Oh well...I'll try not to lose too much sleep ;)
Last friday I had the day off of work. The president of my company notified our office stating it was employee appreciation day, and we should take the day to enjoy the nice spring weather (the president resides in a warm, nice city...little does he know, it doesn't start to get nice out in minnesota for a few more weeks!).
To try and start my weekend early, I decided to treat myself to a night of relaxation and a movie on thursday night. I was looking forward to cuddling up solo to the movie Enchanted. When I went to find the movie (which I had just purchased the day before) it was missing in action. I searched high and low...the bag must have been lost at the store...because it was gone. So, instead of staying up late watching a cute movie, I ended up mindlessly channel surfing my thursday night away.
Friday morning, I was woken up by little man.....he was holding an orange, and a STEAK KNIFE! He was repeating himself saying "orange, orange, mommy, orange." He's such a little rascal..thank GOD he didn't hurt himself!! I laugh about the situation now, but I can only blame myself. I always cut the orange peel off with a steak knife to ensure I get the entire rind and also to prevent the threat of him choking on it (I've had a few traumatic-near-death choking experiences involving tough oranges). So...props to little-man for bringing mommy the appropriate tools (the orange, and the very sharp knife) so she could cut the fruit for him and allow mommy to stay in bed a little longer...hahaha The site of the knife had me up and awake for the rest of the day...Nap time on friday was a HUGE fiasco as well. It took little-man over an hour to settle in. To add mayhem to my already chaotic day, little-man has began spitting every time I tell him no. Not the "blow raspberries with your tongue" spitting...but the actual launching of saliva. What am I to do about this? I've been told to put hot sauce in his mouth..but I can't bring myself to do that for two reasons. First; he ONLY JUST TURNED TWO. and Second; he'll probably LOVE IT just to spite me. I have opted for option three...which is putting him on a time-out in his room and closing the door so I can settle down to explain to him the severity of his actions.
Saturday afternoon we ventured to an Easter Party. Before the party, we stopped over at Grandma's house to visit for a while. I also baked a spinach artichoke dip at grandma's, that I took to the Easter Party with me. My cousin did a fantastic job of hosting the party. There were four toddlers in all, and she made an easter basket for each of them. She also took the time to hide a few dozen candy filled easter eggs around the yard, and inside her house. The kids had a blast. Little-man ate MORE than his fare share of candy...and as a bonus to me...GRANDMA TOOK HIM HOME ON AN OVERNIGHT! There were a couple of other crazy things that took place at the party. At one point, I had all four of the little kids in the basement and we were all playing play-dough together...when all of the sudden the ceiling started raining water as if a pipe had busted. I shouted for my cousin, and we soon found out our uncle had clogged the toilet, and it was overflowing...so I was showered with poop water (ya jealous?). Later in the afternoon, after most of the kids had gone home, my cousin had a little cake smashed in her face. Everyone was laughing and it was all in good fun. This year was definitely an Easter to remember.